“Yes,” he whispered. “And I know it would be wonderful. So wonderful that it would be beyond words.” He hesitated. “But I will forego that pleasure, Evelina. I do not want to compromise you and there could be consequences. I am happy giving you pleasure and witnessing it. It is a dream to have you in my arms at all.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “I wish it were possible. I wish we could lie together and give ourselves to each other fully.” She paused. “It would like to see your pleasure.”
He groaned, as if in pain, turning away from her. She wrapped her arms around him from behind, hugging him. He looked surprised, then gratified. His eyes softened as he gazed at her over his shoulder.
“It is going to be the hardest thing of my life to let you go,” he whispered vehemently. “Do you know yet when you are to be married?”
Evelina winced at the question. “No. I asked my father today if he might consider making it a long engagement. I am trying to delay the inevitable as long as I can.”
“And what did he say?” She felt the tension in him as he asked the question.
“He said he will consider it,” she said. “It was the best I could do. I did not want to push him too much.” Her heart lurched. “I do not want to get my hopes up, but it may be possible that we could have several months together before I must leave Bosworth Manor forever.”
Her words hung between them. He looked sad.
“I pray it is so,” he said slowly. “Every moment we have together is precious, Evelina. But the result is the same. Eventually, you will leave. And I must learn to live without you.”
She buried her head into his chest, closing her eyes. His arms encircled her.
This was where she wanted to stay; safe in his arms forever. But he spoke the truth. Even if Papa agreed to lengthen her engagement, she would still have to marry Mr. Beaumont in the end. They were going to part sooner or later. It was as inevitable as the tides.
She may have bought herself some small measure of time. But the clock was inexorably ticking, the hand moving towards the hour. She had never felt more hopeless in her life. Nor surer that her destiny truly was here in his arms… if only things had been different.
Chapter 26
Evelina smoothed out the creases in her gown as she walked into the foyer of the grand house, gazing around. She didn’t want to be here at all, and she especially didn’t want to be with the gentleman who was accompanying her. But her father and Richard had insisted. She and her family had shared the carriage ride here with Mr. Beaumont. Apparently, his parents were attending as well, but mercifully, were coming here separately.
“Lady Evelina,” cried the hostess, Lady Graves. “How lovely you look, my dear. It seems an age since we have seen you on the circuit. I cannot recall the last time at all.”
Evelina forced a smile onto her face. “It has been quite a while, Lady Graves.” She paused, gazing around the brightly decorated foyer. “The house looks very beautiful and festive.”
“Thank you, my dear,” said Lady Graves, fanning herself vigorously. “We always try to mark Christmastide well.” The lady was already looking over Evelina’s shoulder at the latest arrivals through the doorway. “If you proceed to the drawing room, you shall find refreshment until the evening’s entertainment begins.”
Evelina nodded, feeling relieved that she had been dismissed. She had never particularly liked Lady Graves, and it was always an effort to speak with her. But then, she realised she felt the same way about most of the ton. Being off the social circuit for so long had made her realise that there were few people that she actually missed at all.
The evening stretched before her interminably. A small party to mark the season with a select number of guests. There would probably be champagne and canapes while the guests mingled, followed by performances on the pianoforte, which everyone would politely applaud. This would be followed by more conversation until the evening drew to its conclusion and everyone could safely leave.
Evelina sighed as she drifted down the hallway towards the drawing room. The best thing about the evening was that her father had informed her that Caroline and her parents were supposed to be attending. The worst thing about it was that Mr. Beaumont would probably try to monopolise her for the entire night, playing the role of the devoted fiancé to the hilt, especially because his father was attending and would be watching closely.
Her heart tensed at the thought of it. But there was simply nothing she could do to escape it. Richard would be watching her like a hawk, making sure she was being obedient.
She glanced at her father, who was just ahead of her. She hadn’t had a chance yet to ask him if he had made up his mind about extending her engagement. She simply did not know if he had talked about it with Richard or Mr. Beaumont or his father. She must be patient, but it was hard.
At least her betrothal hadn’t been formally announced yet. No one at this party would know it yet. She wouldn’t be forced to endure people coming up to her to congratulate her. That would probably be more than she could bear. But again, it was a stay of execution, rather than a pardon. It was going to happen one day. The thought was depressing.
But then, when she entered the drawing room, she saw Caroline, standing near the pianoforte talking with a group of people. Her spirits lifted a bit. She hadn’t told her friend yet about her sudden betrothal. Caroline had been out of the district for a few days. The need to unburden herself to her friend became overwhelming.
She turned to Mr. Beaumont, who was hovering at her side. “I might talk to my good friend, Lady Caroline. We have not caught up for a while. Would you mind getting me a champagne, my lord?”
He smiled charmingly. Mr. Beaumont was on his best behaviour this evening. But then, he always was at society events. She suddenly saw his parents standing near the mantelpiece. They waved at her.
“Of course, Lady Evelina,” said the gentleman, with one of his patronising smiles. “Your wish is my command.”
Richard stepped up to them, frowning. “Where are you going, Evelina?”
She glared at him. “I am socialising, Richard,” she said in a tart voice. “That is what we are here for, is it not?”
Before he could reply, she turned and walked away. She knew he would complain about it to their father, but she didn’t care. She was already undertaking a duty that she didn’t want to do. She had capitulated to the sudden betrothal. She had agreed to come here and play the dutiful daughter and fiancée. Richard couldn’t expect that she was going to stay glued to Mr. Beaumont’s side for the entire evening.