His background was a total mystery. Who had his parents been? Why had they been so desperate that they had abandoned him?
“How old were you when you were abandoned?” she asked in a quiet voice. “You were not a babe in arms, were you?”
“Around two years old,” he said slowly. “At least, that’s what the orphanage thought.” He stared at her intently. “Why do you ask?”
Evelina sighed. “It just seems odd, abandoning a child at that age,” she said in a pensive voice. “Usually children are abandoned when they are babies… before the parents or carers grow attached to them. Yet someone cared for you through the whole of your infancy when you started talking, walking, and showing your character. It must have been a wrench for them to do such a thing.”
“I have always thought it would be a wrench to abandon a child at any age,” he said, frowning slightly. “Even a newborn. But I see your point.” He shrugged. “Perhaps they couldn’t afford to keep me. Or perhaps they never cared much to begin with.” His face contorted a bit. “I will probably never know.”
Evelina bit her lip. “Perhaps. But there could be another reason.” She hesitated. “Perhaps your family never intended it. Perhaps they were truly attached to you, loved you fully, and intended to keep you with them forever. There may have been another party involved.”
He looked astonished. “I have never thought of such a thing. I suppose I assumed my family must have done it. I always thought it must have been my mother or father or both of them.” He sighed. “I will probably never know. And I must let go of the hunger to find the truth and whatever is left of my family. Because it has consumed my life, Evelina. That is not good.”
Evelina nodded, seeing how much it pained him, even speaking about it for a small length of time. He spoke the truth. The chances of him finding his long-lost family were remote, and those chances got worse as time went on. All his family might be gone now. The trail was cold and had probably never been hot to begin with.
And itwasn’tgood to live in the past. She knew that through personal experience. Look at her father, unable to let go of the life he had lived with her mother, wasting his days in reminiscing about her. She knew that her mother would not want him to do that. The past could invade the present and take it over entirely, meaning that it could not be lived in the current moment.
And that was a waste, indeed.
Slowly, she reached out a hand, stroking his face. That was why being with him now, making snow angels and whatever else they did together, was so precious. The moments of their lives were ticking away, and they had no idea how much time they had left together before it ended completely.
There was only the present moment. And she intended to make the most of this one.
“I am so sorry,” she whispered. “Sorry it happened to you and that you still feel the loss.”
“You learn to live with it,” he said in a resigned voice. “And perhaps it was better that I was abandoned. Perhaps growing up in my family would have been harder than the orphanage. Who knows? It is a more comforting thought at any rate.”
Evelina smiled. “Yes, it is. How brave you are, Jude.”
He smiled sadly. “Will we keep going?”
She nodded. They got to their feet and continued, taking the back path into the estate, near where the hiding place was located. When they were inside in the small room with the cabinet and crucifix, he turned to her, pulling her into his arms.
When his lips finally descended on her own, she gasped inwardly, feeling as if she were coming home. It felt like a blessing. Her heart raced faster still, hammering in her chest, as those odd, sweet sensations that she had only ever felt with him coursed through her body. A hunger growing slowly within her.
He tilted her back, kissing her feverishly. His mouth travelled down her neck, like a trail of fire on her skin, until he found her breasts. She squeezed her eyes shut in rapture as he pushed the fabric of her bodice aside. His lips found a nipple, pulling and tugging, making those sweet sensations intensify, and a warm wetness seeped from the very core of her.
Her hands reached up, gripping his dark hair, pulling him closer still as he suckled. Her legs were weak, shaking, and she felt like she might fall entirely. And then he kept going, kissing her through her gown, gathering it up, so that her legs were exposed. She opened her eyes in shock as she felt his hand caress her womanly core, dipping his fingers in, parting her. His touch was gentle, but intense as he explored, rubbing her back and forth.
She gave an involuntary, strangled gasp. Those sensations were intensifying further at his touch. They were growing, changing, almost as if she were climbing, each one stronger than the last. It was sweet madness. She moaned, deep in her throat, clutching him tightly for support, as well as with desire.
He seemed to sense that she was in danger of collapsing, that her legs were like jelly, and snaked an arm around her, supporting her, as his other hand kept up its feverish work. She gasped again. She was climbing, reaching higher, straining towards something that she did not know. It was so intense that she almost pushed him away in alarm, fearing it as much as she desired it.
He gazed at her, his eyes dark with desire. “Come to me,” he whispered. “Sweet Evelina, come to me.”
As he beseeched her in that husky voice, she felt the most intense sensations of her life crashing over her. Her head fell back, and she cried aloud as they swept over her, like crashing waves, in a fierce, ferocious sweetness. Would it last forever?
But eventually it subsided, tapering off. She could breathe again. She opened her eyes in bewilderment. What had just happened to her? It was as if she had left herself and the entire world for one brief, spellbinding moment.
She had experienced nothing like it in her life.
“What… what was that?” she whispered, her voice croaky.
Jude smiled. “That was the culmination of passion,” he whispered, one thumb gently pulling at the corner of her mouth. “It is supposed to happen. That is why we feel desire.” His voice deepened as he spoke.
Evelina blushed intensely. “You would feel the same thing… if we consummated our passion?”
He looked a bit embarrassed at her question, but his eyes also darkened. She felt the tension within him as taut as an arrow. She tried to meet his eye. They had just been so intimate with one another, and she didn’t want it to end now, no matter how delicate the subject.