The show must go on - on the stage and in life. It must be her new motto.
Chapter 24
Jude watched Evelina walking through the gardens towards the woods beyond the estate. He saw she had the pantomime script in her hand. His heart plummeted. He knew it was foolish, but he had been looking forward to today’s rehearsal. It was the only chance he had to be close to her anymore.
He approached Barnaby. “Is milady not going into the village today?”
The head coachman shook his head. “There was an accident on the road. Two carts collided, and the cleanup is going to take a while in the snow. We can’t get through in time.”
Jude was silent. That was why she had the script in her hand. She was probably planning to rehearse her lines privately. He knew how much this play meant to her.
He smiled grimly. Poor Revered Basingstoke would probably have kittens when he realised his two leads would not make the rehearsal. The vicar had already moved heaven and earth to keep the show going after the sudden loss of the tailor. But there was nothing anyone could do about it. Even the good Reverend couldn’t control an accident.
“You can take an early luncheon break,” continued Barnaby. “Since we aren’t going to Charingworth. But I want you back here by noon. I want to take the opportunity to replace a wheel while we have the chance.”
Jude nodded, surprised and gratified at the unexpected break. “Thank you. I will be back by noon.”
He started heading towards the kitchen. But before he got there, his feet lagged. He didn’t feel like sitting by the fire. And he didn’t want to run into Sally after the kiss between them last night. He still felt awkward about it and he wasn’t sure if the maid had accepted his excuse why there could be nothing between them or was simply biding her time. Shewasawfully persistentand had a hard time taking no for an answer.
He stopped walking, staring into the distance, to the woods beyond the estate. His heart raced erratically. He knew he shouldn’t do it, but he was in the grip of the old compulsion again. He had been expecting to spend time near Evelina today, after all.
He tried not to think about the dream. The dream where he had been making love to her…
Before he could stop himself, he was walking off towards the woods. He felt strangely lightheaded and reckless. He might not encounter Evelina, and it would be good to stretch his legs, he told himself as he entered the woods, slipping into the forest like a thief in the night.
***
Evelina meandered through the woods, trying not to think about Jude or her betrothal. She spotted an old tree trunk. It would be as good a spot as any to sit down and look through the script, and also far enough away from Bosworth that it wouldn’t matter if she spoke her lines aloud. The woods were deserted. No one would hear her except the woodland animals.
She settled herself, opening the script. Soon she was lost within it, saying the lines aloud, her breath fogging as she spoke the words. When she reached the end, she started all over again, except this time she tried not to look at the script as she spoke her lines, staring into the distance. She was in the middle of a line when she heard footsteps rustling through the snow behind her.
Evelina jumped up, closing the script. Jude was standing there, staring at her, a quizzical look upon his face.
“What are youdoinghere?” she burst out, feeling embarrassed. “Did you follow me?”
He looked sheepish. “I… I had an early break, and I wanted to take a walk,” he replied. “But yes, Isawyou enter the woods.” He hung his head. “I am sorry, Evelina.”
Her name hung in the air. Her name off his lips, which showed more than anything the intimacy between them. She was no longermiladyor evenLady Evelinato him. His use of her name, as opposed to her title, which he only dared utter when they were alone together, was symbolic of everything.
“Jude,” she said, her heart thumping hard. “It is impossible. We both know it. You should not do this, for it only makes it worse.”
He sighed heavily. “I know,” he said slowly. “I am always resolved to stay away from you. But always that resolve slips.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I am truly sorry. I don’t want to cause you distress or make your life difficult.”
She gazed at him, her heart still thumping hard. As always, the magnetism of being in his proximity was doing dangerous things to her equilibrium. She felt her own resolve slip away, to melt like the surrounding snow when the sun emerged, bright and clear.
“Did you go to the village dance last night?” she asked abruptly.
He looked surprised. “How did you know about that?”
“I saw you return,” she said, feeling the bitter acid of jealousy coursing through her blood once again. “I saw you with the auburn-haired maid again. The one you told me you are not involved with… and yet, it looked like you are.”
He looked pained. “You do not need to be jealous, Evelina,” he said. “I admit Sally does like me in that way, and is pushing for something to happen between us, but I can’t do it.” He hesitated. “I often wish I could. For it would mean that I am forgetting you and that would be a good thing.”
“How can you wish for that?” she cried, feeling distressed. “How can you wish you could want another woman?”
He swore softly beneath his breath, rushing towards her. He didn’t touch her. But their faces were mere inches apart. She felt the warmth of his breath on her face.
Evelina felt a tingle all over her body. Carefully, she studied his face. She saw faint stubble on his jawline. She was possessed with an urge to trace a finger along it, to feel the hair. She resisted the urge with difficulty.