His face contorted a little. “Evelina… I loathe us being at loggerheads,” he said, his voice breaking with emotion. “All I want is for all of us… you, me, and Richard to get along and be a family again, as much as it is possible, without your beloved mother. Do you understand?”
She nodded, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Iunderstand, Papa. It is not your fault that Richard and I are very different people and find it difficult to see eye to eye.” She paused, wondering how far she could push this. “Richard has swept down upon Bosworth Manor, trying to rule the roost and plan everyone’s lives. I will not lie. I resent it, and I think he is being overbearing with not just me, but you as well.”
She watched her father stiffen. Instantly, she regretted her criticism of Richard. Their father adored his only son and heir and had always turned a blind eye to Richard’s character deficiencies. There really was only so far she could go with this, without putting him on the defensive, which would be counterproductive to what she wished to achieve.
“I promise I will try harder to get along with Richard,” she said quickly. “I do not want discord at Bosworth for Christmas any more than you, Papa. Will you still consider my request for a long betrothal?”
He nodded slowly. “I said that I would, and I meant it, Evelina.” He tried to smile. “What are your plans for the day, my dear?”
Evelina smiled. “I was supposed to go to Charingworth for pantomime rehearsal, but Barnaby the coachman has told me there has been an accident on the road leading into the village and it is quite impassable for now.” She paused. “I thought I might go for a walk in the woods if the road is still blocked. Perhaps I shall take my script with me and attempt to learn my lines, so the day is not entirely wasted.”
His eyes shone with pride. “I am terribly pleased that you are so involved with the local community, Evelina. And I know that your mother would be very proud, as well.”
Evelina nodded quickly, turning her face away, so he couldn’t see the tears shining in her eyes.
“And I appreciate the effort you have made in the lead up to Christmas,” he continued. “You have decorated the house beautifully. How are the preparations for the Christmas Eve ball coming along?”
She took a deep breath, turning back to him. “Very well. Everything is ordered that we need, from champagne to food. I just need to make sure that the musicians are confirmed for the night. I will speak about that with the housekeeper.”
He nodded. “I want you to have a new gown for the ball,” he said, smiling slightly. “A most splendid gown. Perhaps you could arrange a day to go to the modiste with Caroline.” He hesitated. “Do not worry about the cost. You are the hostess for the night and must look the part. Think of it as a reward for all your hard work.”
“Thank you, Papa,” she said, touched by the gesture. “I will do that.”
They gazed at each other in silence for a moment.
“You will come to the Christmas pantomime, will you not?” she asked in a gentle voice. “To see my stage debut?”
He laughed. “I would not miss it for the world, Evelina. I shall be in the very front row, cheering loudly. You have my word.”
They kept gazing at each other. The silence stretched on again. Evelina felt the closeness between them. For a moment, it was as if he was her old father again, and there was no discord between them.
She knew he was trying his hardest. She knew he was being pulled between her and her brother and wanted to please both of them. And that he was doing so while still suffering the loss of his wife keenly. Her father was a good man. He was just a bit lost and muddled and wasn’t sure what was the best way to handle anything anymore.
She took a deep breath. But hewastrying. And that was truly something.
He had agreed to think about her proposal to extend her betrothal. She knew she couldn’t ask more of him at the moment. And he was trying to mend the broken bridge between them. She only hoped and prayed that he would understand how much this meant to her and not be influenced by Richard. But there was nothing she could do about that for now.
Abruptly, she was seized with the urge to tell him about her feelings for Jude. She wanted to tell him she thought she was falling in love with the new coachman and that she believed she could never be truly happy without him. In an ideal world it might have been possible to do it. In an ideal world her father might have judged Jude on his character rather than his position in life and considered him.
Her heart fell to the ground. They didn’t live in an ideal world and it simply wasn’t possible to tell him. He would be shocked, outraged and rush to protect her. There was simply no way he would ever consider Jude as a suitor for her hand. He had always told her that she shouldn’t get too close to the servants and that the invisible line between the classes must be maintained at all times.
Marriage within her class was about maintaining or improving status and wealth. It was about keeping and transferring property. Yes, people fell in love and sometimes married for it, but only with people that were equal or very close in class. The union of a duke’s daughter to a lowly coachman wouldneverbe considered.
“I will leave you,” she said, fighting back the tears, knowing that it was impossible. “Thank you for considering my request.”
He nodded. She left the room, closing the door firmly behind her.
When she was back in her room, she let the tears she had been holding at bay finally fall. She put her head into her hands, sobbing quietly. It felt cathartic to do it. The conversation with her father had been fraught with emotion for many reasons. She loved him so much and the instinct to shield him from pain was so strong that it had been difficult asserting herself.
Eventually, she wiped away her tears. She must focus on the positive side of their conversation. She had put the idea of a long engagement into his mind, and he had agreed to consider it. Being with Jude had never been an option, anyway. It was pointless to grieve over it.
She picked up the pantomime script lying on her bedside table. She would check with Barnaby again, but if the coachman told her the road to Charingworth was still blocked, then she would go for a walk in the woods with the script. She would find a quiet place to sit down and read through her lines. She needed to do it, but it would be a good distraction as well.
Evelina went outside. She found Barnaby near the coach. He confirmed that the road was still blocked and it wouldn’t be cleared until the afternoon. She wouldn’t make pantomime rehearsal today. And nor would Jude, who was still a part of the cast, of course.
Her heart shifted. She should never have agreed to the vicar’s request. It was just going to make it so much harder, being close to Jude during rehearsals. But it was all too late. They had already lost one cast member and it was too late to replace Jude with someone new now. The pantomime would probably not go ahead.
Evelina took a deep breath as she turned and left, heading towards the woods.