I have no idea what time it is, whether it’s actually still light outside or not. The blinds and curtains in this place haven’t been open since I returned after that night.
I don’t want to live in the light when I’m drowning in the darkness within me.
For a few seconds, I see nothing, no one.
But then, brightness sears into my eyeballs and I roar in frustration as my entire flat is bathed in sunlight.
Pushing from the sofa, I stand on unsteady legs, wincing as I fight to find the intruder who’s decided to come torture me.
My eyes water as I stare at the brightness, everything blurred for long seconds until a vision appears in front of me.
“Siren?”
With the light streaming in from the windows, she looks like an angel.
Her light blue eyes find mine and a smile pulls at her lips as if she’s pleased to see me.
Before I know what’s happening, my legs are moving and I’m closing the space between us.
She gasps as she reads my intentions and takes a step back, but it’s nowhere close to being enough to stop me.
Her back crashes against the windows behind her a beat before my fingers cup her face and I slam my lips down on hers.
Memories of the last time I caved and let her inside fill my mind.
Aside from being wasted or high, it was the only time I was able to get out of my head. The only time I’ve managed to lessen the pain.
Brianna Andrews.
The light my darkness craves.
My lips move against hers. I’m so lost in the promise of what she can give me that I don’t notice that she’s not returning my kiss, that her body is frozen against mine as I pin her against the window.
“Nico,” she gasps when I kiss down her neck, biting down on her sensitive skin. I ignore the fact that it’s not a demand to continue but a plea for me to stop.
I can’t stop.
I don’t want to stop.
I need her.
I need—
“FUCK,” I bark, backing up the second she pushes harder against my chest, forcing me away from her.
Something that’s already battered and broken inside of me cracks open wider at her rejection, and pain once again lashes at my inside.
“NO,” I boom. “You’re meant to make it better. You’re meant to take it all away.”
“Nico.”
“Please, Siren.” My voice cracks, but I’m powerless to stop it, or to even care. “I need y—”
She rushes forward, catching me before I confess that final word and collapse in a broken heap on the floor.
Her arms wrap around me and it feels so fucking good.
Too fucking good. But I don’t have it in me to do anything about it.