“Is everything all right, Brianna?” he asks, sensing something bubbling up inside me.
“Yeah, she’s just—”
“Jojo,” I hiss, cutting her off. I’m not ready to tell everyone about this yet. At least, not until I’ve got my own head around it. “This was a bad idea. I’m just gonna go, and I’ll catch up with him—” But as I step away, a beep fills the hallway before a door opens behind me.
“Go talk to him, Brianna,” Theo says, his voice hard and allowing no space for argument.
He might not know what’s going on, but clearly, he’s read the seriousness of it.
“Umm…”
I meet Jodie’s eyes, and they soften in encouragement.
“Go try and fix my boy, Bri,” Toby begs, pain for his best friend showing on every inch of his face.
“Fuck. I—” I suck in a breath. “I don’t think I hold that kind of power.”
Without instruction from my brain, my legs take me closer to Nico’s now open door.
A bolt of nerves shoots through me as I stare into the darkness within.
“You do, Bri,” Toby assures me.
“Don’t take his bullshit,” Theo states. “Don’t let him push you away.”
Easier said than done.
Sucking in a huge breath, hoping I can drag some strength and confidence to go into battle with Nico, I step inside his flat and close the door behind me.
“N-Nico?” I shout, my voice cracked with nerves and anticipation for what I’m about to find. If the smell is anything to go by, it’s not going to be pretty.
3
NICO
Something drags me from the dark depths of nothingness I’ve managed to sink into and I fight to stop it.
Down here, nothing can touch me, nothing can hurt me, and I can pretend that everything is okay.
That my world hasn’t completely fallen apart.
The second reality comes back, so does the pain, the despair, the utter hopelessness I’ve found myself drowning in since the first explosion ripped through the country club that night.
It’s like I’m stuck on a merry-go-round, only I’m not trapped living the best time of my life with happy music and brightly coloured horses and flashing lights. I’m trapped in the pits of hell, barely clinging on to a life I can hardly remember from before that night.
A life where everything had a place, where everything was as it should be. Where we ruled the city with an iron fist and took down anyone who got in our way.
But they beat us.
They fucking beat us, and they ripped us in two.
They ripped me in two, straight through my heart.
I care about very few things in my life, but the man they took from me that night was right up there at the fucking top of that list.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I offer up anything I have to stop the inevitable, but it’s pointless. The crash of my slamming front door brings me fully back to, and soft footsteps close in on me.
Cracking my eyes open, I blink against the darkness that surrounds me.