My pain overrides my fear in this moment, and I’m more than happy to allow it.
We stand like that for the longest time, her holding me together, keeping all my jagged parts from falling away and stopping me from bleeding out all over the floor.
Since forcing myself to go back to school, putting a brave face on has been getting harder and harder.
I’m not ready to return to the world. I need time. I need… fuck knows what I really need. But sitting in a class prepping for my upcoming exams certainly isn’t it.
But it’s what’s expected of me. What I have to do.
My future… my future is…
Some kind of pained sob rips from my throat and Brianna's soft voice meets my ear.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
I suck in a shuddering breath as I continue to allow her to hold me.
It’s not something I ever thought I’d let happen, but here we are.
I never thought I’d have to say goodbye to my dad, either. Well, not for a good few years at least.
I have no clue how much time passes with us locked in our embrace, but eventually, my alcohol-filled mind finally senses that we’re moving.
Lifting my face from the crook of Brianna’s neck, I find that we’re standing in my en suite.
“Wha—”
“You need to shower, Nico. You fucking stink.”
I watch her as she releases me as if she isn’t even real, just a vision my fucked-up head thinks it should taunt me with.
Sounds about fucking right.
And if she is nothing more than a figment of my imagination, I bet I won’t even be allowed to lose myself in what she can really offer me. Her hug might have been nice—not that I’ll tell her that—but pushing inside her tight cunt would be so much better.
The sensation of my school tie being pulled through my collar successfully drags me from that little fantasy and I look down, watching as her slender fingers make quick work of my shirt buttons.
A growl rumbles deep in my throat as her hot hands slide over my shoulders, pushing the fabric away.
“Just can’t wait to get me naked, huh?”
Her eyes find mine, but unlike what I’m used to, I don’t find the fire that usually burns within them when we’re this close. All I find is pity, sympathy. It’s almost enough to force me to put an end to this, to send her away like I should have done the second I found her in my space. But I don’t, because after dragging my shirt from my arms, her knuckles brush down my abs as she reaches for my waistband, and I cave to that fantasy once more as she undoes my trousers and shoves both them and my boxers down my legs.
Her teeth sink into her bottom lip as she watches my cock bob between us.
I might be irreparably broken after the fallout of that night, but it seems my dick still wants to party despite the amount of alcohol I’ve tried to drown myself in.
Dropping to her knees, she rips her eyes from my dick in favour of my feet so she can free them from my remaining clothes until I’m standing before her, a naked, broken and empty shell of a man.
The ruthless soldier I always believed I was is long gone.
In his place is this… this…
“It’ll get easier, Nico. I promise,” she says, throwing my clothes aside and standing to her full height again, sadly not stopping to wrap those luscious lips around me. Although what she said when she pushed me in here is true, I’m more than aware of the fact that I can’t remember the last time I showered. I’m not sure I could pay her enough to suck me off right now.
Planting one hand in the centre of my chest, she forces me back until we’re standing inside my walk-in shower.
“Clean up,” she instructs, reaching out to turn the shower on, probably more than aware I’m about to get blasted with ice-cold water. Sadist. “I’ll be right ou— Argh, Nico,” she screams when I don’t let her jump away from the water and instead haul her against my body as it rains down.