“Nuh-uh.”
“I did so. But what I want to know is if you missed me enough to share your pancakes with me.”
Sage beamed up at her and nodded, but Birdie made an exaggerated thinking face, tapping a finger against her lips. “I’m not sure…”
Hadley clutched her chest. “You wound me.”
“Okay, you can have some,” Birdie acquiesced.
“Thank you.” She looked up at me. “I’d offer to help, but…”
“We know you’d just end up burning something?” I finished for her.
“Bingo.” Hadley grinned at me, but it quickly slipped from her face as soon as she realized what she was doing. She turned her attention to the girls, talking about what activities they’d done with Addie this week and whether they wanted to go to the park after breakfast.
I refocused on the pancakes, making sure everyone had as many as they could possibly want, but sliced some strawberries for the girls to consume, as well. Hadley kept her distance from me throughout breakfast, remaining zeroed in on Birdie and Sage.
When we’d finished, and the dishes were in the dishwasher, she clapped her hands. “Ready to go?” Birdie cheered, and Sage ran for her sweatshirt. Hadley turned to me. “I can take them if you have stuff you need to get done.”
The hopeful lilt to her words grated against my skin. “No, I’ll go.”
“Okay.” She started towards the door and out of it, linking arms with Birdie.
I locked up as Sage waited for me. She eyed me carefully. “Are you and Hads in a fight?”
I almost fumbled my keys. “No, why would you ask that?”
Sage shrugged and headed down the path with me to the sidewalk. “She was looking at you funny at breakfast. Like she was waiting for you to yell at her.”
Hell. Sage had always been so observant, wise beyond her years, but this wasn’t something I could explain to her. I couldn’t even explain it to myself. “We had a hard day at work yesterday.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth, either.
Sage’s steps faltered. “Did someone die?”
I pulled her in close to me, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as we walked. “No. Everyone will be okay. But there was a minute where I was scared for Hads.”
“You don’t like it when you’re scared.”
“No, I don’t.” I did everything I could to mitigate as much worry as possible. It was why I worked my ass off, hoping to move into a more administrative role at work. It was why the girls had memorized an emergency plan when they were six. It was why I’d given up chasing those adrenaline highs with Hadley.
Sage hooked a finger into my belt loop. “Everyone’s scared sometimes.”
“I know, Buttercup.”
We were quiet for the rest of the walk, Hadley and Birdie almost a block ahead of us. I liked these silent moments with my daughter. Sometimes, she filled it with unexpected revelations like she had earlier. Other times, we simply were.
“Hurry up, Sage!” Birdie called from the monkey bars.
Sage tipped her face up to mine and grinned. “I’m gonna beat her this time.”
“Have fun.”
She tore off, launching herself up to catch one of the rungs. She and Birdie counted off how many bars they could get without falling.
I came to a stop next to Hadley. I had the urge to bump her shoulder with mine like I used to whenever she was quiet. More, I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her I was sorry. To vow to fix what had gone so wrong between us.
“Thanks for coming by this morning.”
Hadley rocked back on her heels, not taking her eyes off Birdie and Sage. “I love them.”