“I hope you don’t mind me dropping in.” I closed the door behind me and went towards the curtain. “It’s so dark in here I can barely see you. Do you mind if I open a curtain?”
“Just a little, my eyes are sensitive. I prefer the dark,” he said. I opened the curtains a crack. A shaft of sunlight spilled over the carpet and I immediately felt the warmth. Adam stayed on the bed, lurking in the nook he’d made for himself. Specks of dust hung in the air and I shook my head. The nuns at the orphanage would never have stood for this level of cleanliness, but I wasn’t here to lecture him about that.
“I wanted to talk to you about the other night,” I began. Adam’s head dropped.
“I figured you would. It’s alright, you don’t have to say anything. As far as I’m concerned it never happened. It might as well have been a dream, given that it happened at night in the garden. I just like being with my flowers anyway. I’m not so good with people.”
“No, Adam, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about at all. I’m not ashamed of what happened. It was nice. I just…I wondered if you wanted to spend some more time in the garden…just the two of us?”
“Nobody has ever asked me that before,” he said, blinking at me.
“Well, I’m asking now.”
He licked his lips and I wondered why he had to take so long to consider my proposal. It seemed like a simple thing to answer.
; “I don’t think that’s such a good idea Elsa. I mean, I enjoyed it and you’re…well, you know. I just…I’m not the best with people. I like being with my flowers. I understand them and they understand me. It’s…uncomplicated. Being with other people makes my head hurt and I…I’ve hurt people before. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t hurt me Adam. I’m not saying we should jump into anything. I just think you’re cool and interesting, and I’d like to spend more time with you.”
“I can. As friends. With the others. But I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be in the garden together anymore.”
I felt a flush of disappointment. An awkward silence descended on us. There was nothing else I could say, really. It wasn’t like I was going to force him to spend time with me, I guess I was just a little disappointed that it had turned out like this. I thought I was getting through to him, but he seemed to be in a world of his own. Maybe it was best that he stayed with his flowers. However, I was really interested to learn who he had hurt and how.
I was about to leave when he asked me to close the curtains, to which I obliged him, but when I opened the door Julia was passing and shook her head. She barely took one look at me before she marched off with her cronies in tow. Angelica looked at me with the same level of derision as Julia had, while Aaron and Tommy briskly walked behind in the girls’ wake. Now, although Julia hadn’t done anything to directly offend me this time I was still annoyed at all the other times she had treated me with such disdain, and I hated the way she walked by me without so much as a hello. She didn’t have to like me, but she could at least be civil, and I wasn’t in the mood to let this go without saying something.
Julia got away with far too much in Angel Academy and nothing was ever going to change if people didn’t stand up to her. I wasn’t going to get violent, but I also wasn’t going to let her get away with behaving like this. She had to realize that she didn’t have free reign over everyone in the school and she couldn’t treat people as though they were just objects destined to distract her.
I marched out of the room and walked past Aaron and Tommy. Julia and Angelica made a beeline straight for Julia’s room, but just as she was about to open the door I cleared my throat. They both looked back. I put my hands on my hips and glowered at her.
“What do you want?” Angelica sneered.
“I want to ask why you gave me that look back there. You know, there’s a way to treat people with respect and I don’t care if you don’t like me, but I’m tired of the way you’re treating me. I’m sorry that I crashed into you that first day, but that’s no reason to hate me, and you can’t just walk around here treating everyone like they’re beneath you. You’re not special. You’re just like the rest of us and there’s no reason we can’t all get along. Stop treating people like shit.”
“This really isn’t the time,” Angelica warned, but my hackles had risen and all the frustration had boiled over. Julia still had her back to me and I was even more annoyed that she didn’t seem to deem me worthy of her attention.
“Oh yes, it is time. It’s long past time,” I said. I pushed past Angelica.
“Seriously Elsa, just leave it,” she said, but nothing was going to stop me from getting to Julia. I forced Angelica out of the way, who was no match for my Slayer strength (at this point I wasn’t caring about hiding myself. I figured one hefty shove wasn’t going to be enough to give anything away). I reached out and grabbed Julia’s shoulder, twisting her around. I was just about ready to rant at her and give her a piece of my mind, but when she turned around I saw the tears in her eyes. Her makeup ran down her cheeks and left dark trails, her cheeks were red, and she was shaking. The entire corridor had been roused by the commotion and now saw her utterly vulnerable.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, taken aback by the sight of Julia like this. I wasn’t even sure if she was capable of showing any emotion other than anger. Her hands curled into fists and I thought she was about to scream, but then she spun on her heels and walked into her room, disappearing from view.
“She just found out her parents died. The last thing she needs is you having a go at her. You really pick the right time don’t you Elsa? Just leave us alone. Nobody wanted you to come here,” Angelica said. She and the two boys followed Julia into the room and slammed the door behind them. I was left crestfallen. I looked around, but nobody offered sympathy and I didn’t know exactly what to do. It was just a case of bad timing, but I felt the pain more than most.
I hung my head and left the dorms. Part of me wanted to knock on the door and apologize, but I knew Julia wouldn’t want to see me. I didn’t care how much of a bitch she was, nobody deserved that.
*
I was feeling numb when I reached the gym. Josh waved to me and I sat by him. I ran my hands through my hair and he could see that I was shaking. I told him what had happened and he let out a long rush of breath.
“I mean, it wasn’t your fault. You weren’t to know.”
“I know that,” I said, “I just can’t believe I put my foot in it that badly. I just had to go on the crusade and try and fix something that didn’t need fixing. God…I feel like such a fool. As if she needed another reason to hate me. I want to apologize, but I know she’s not going to accept it. If someone had done that to me when I found out my parents died I don’t know what I’d do.”
“I wouldn’t think about it too much,” he said.
“How can I not?” I asked. The more I thought about it, the more my soul ripped open inside me. I had never been perfect, but I had always sworn that I would never be cruel to anyone who had been through the same thing I had. “Here I go again, charging into something without thinking, I’m just a fool. I should never have gotten involved. I should have just let things lie.”