“It was good that you got involved, it was just unfortunate timing,” Josh said.
His words didn’t provide me with reassurance though. We were sitting on the bleachers in the gym. People were swarming around us, filtering in to enjoy the game. A few players were on the court warming up before the match. The cheerleaders were stretching and making their final preparations before their performance. A few teachers stood by the sidelines and marshaled everyone around. A few people stared at me, having witnessed what just happened. I wanted to crawl away somewhere dark and damp and just push everything aside. There was a lump in my throat that wouldn’t disappear no matter how hard I tried to swallow and I began to tremble. Josh sensed that something was wrong and he put his arm around me. I was suddenly enveloped in his warmth and his strength. It was as though somehow he transferred it to me. He squeezed tightly and my head rested against his shoulder. His body was steely and strong, comforting and manly. I closed my eyes and for a moment all my troubles seemed to drift away as though they were being carried by a summer cloud. All I wanted was to turn back time just for an hour or so and stop myself from making such a mistake.
“She’s never going to forgive me for this,” I said, eventually. “She’s never going to forget it. I know I wouldn’t.”
“You don’t know what’s going to happen. She might have to go back home. There’s no sense in worrying about anything until it happens, especially when it’s out of your control.”
Arthur had said similar things to me. They were difficult to remember though. Even though I was a Slayer I was still just a teenage girl with all my flaws and fractured mind. All the difficulties of my youth came flooding back. Every conflict with another child affected me greatly, because they always moved on, by literally moving on. They always got picked by a family, but I didn’t. I stayed at the orphanage and it always felt as though I was being punished for being naughty, like somehow all the adults knew I was too wicked to be a part of a happy family.
And now I felt the same thing. This academy, with all its children and its dorm rooms, felt like the orphanage. I knew deep down it wasn’t, but it didn’t help me either way. And now Julia was an orphan. I remem
bered what Troy had told me about Suzie. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to stop myself from fighting back, if Julia really came at me and wanted revenge. I could see everything slipping away, crumbling before my eyes. I could see myself being thrown out of the academy and then where would I be? With Arthur; fighting an endless fight against the undead and no hope of anything changing any time soon.
I think Josh sensed that he wouldn’t be able to say anything to make me feel better. We sat there quietly. I sensed a few murmurs from people passing by. Word spread quickly around here, and soon everyone would know what I had done. I longed for the game to begin, just to give me some distraction. There was a sudden hush, but when I looked up through blurred vision I didn’t see the teams on the court. Instead, I saw Mrs. Thorpe standing at the entrance of the gym, and she was looking directly at me.
Mrs. Thorpe raised her hand and beckoned with one finger for me to join her. Everyone knew she was pointing at me, and I wasn’t the only one to have seen her.
“Oh God…” I moaned as I stood up, having no choice but to face the inevitable.
“You’ll be okay. It was just an honest mistake,” he said. As I rose his hand slid around my waist and arm, and before I left his company he squeezed my hand tightly. It felt nice, and I wished so badly that I could have just stayed in his arms. I wanted to curl around him and enjoy the feeling of his body around me. I wanted to melt into him, but instead I walked away, alone, as I ever was.
Chapter Ten
I’d never felt more self-conscious than when I walked down the bleachers. I heard people whispering as I passed, but I tried to hold my head high. I looked back at Josh, who was now sitting there all alone. I regretted that I had to leave him, and that I wouldn’t get to see Troy in all his glory. With each step I took tension increased and a knot of anxiety twisted in the pit of my stomach. It seemed stupid that I should feel so vulnerable. I was a Slayer. I could fight and kill creatures of the night, and here I was, trembling at the thought of a scolding from a schoolmaster.
I had been warned that Mrs. Thorpe wasn’t as nice as she seemed, although I hoped that was an error and she was just as friendly as the first time I’d met her. There was a look in her eyes that told me otherwise. She didn’t say anything to me. As soon as I reached her she turned around and strode away, expecting me to follow. I walked along in her wake, sullen and worried. The crowd that streamed in for the game parted before us and I had a feeling I would soon become infamous.
We went to her office, which was near reception.
“Close the door behind you and take a seat,” she said. Her desk was wide and a computer monitor was angled at the edge. The window looked out to the gardens and I saw a few people enjoying the aroma of the flowers; evidently not everyone was interested in basketball. I was too worried to look around Mrs. Thorpe’s office properly. She looked as prim and proper as ever. She clasped her hands together and placed them on the desk, leaning forward slightly.
“I assume you know why you’re here,” she said in clipped tones. I nodded numbly, not sure what to say in my defense. Julia was the darling of the faculty. I should never have let things get the better of me. I should have just left it.
“It was just a mistake. I didn’t know that her parents died.”
“That’s not really the point though is it Elsa? The simple fact is that students of this academy do not go around accosting people and demanding things from them. I know that Julia can be difficult sometimes, but if you lose your temper at the first sign of trouble you’ll never get very far in life. I told you there are expectations at this academy, high expectations, and so far you are failing to meet them.”
“I’m trying my best. I really am. I just…it seems so unfair the way she treats people and gets away with it. I wanted to talk to her so that things might change for the better. I thought maybe I could talk some sense into her, but I just happened to choose the wrong moment,” my voice trailed off at the end, growing weaker.
“Yes, you did. The way you acted was certainly not conducive to a rational discussion.”
“What’s going to happen now? Am I going to be punished?” I asked.
“I don’t think that’s necessary, this time, but you have to watch your behavior because we will not tolerate it anymore. This is between you and Julia, so you have to go to her and apologize. We’ll all be keeping a close eye on you, though, Elsa, and if you slip up again, this place clearly isn’t for you, which would be a great shame. Now, go and apologize to Julia.”
“Yes Mrs. Thorpe,” I said. I quickly pushed my chair back and left the office as quickly as possible, worried that the longer I stayed there the more likely it was that a worse punishment would befall me. I hurried through the empty hallways. The passionate sounds of the basketball game echoed out from the gym. I heard a raucous cheer and wished that I was a part of it, but I had to go and face the wounded animal. Julia was spiteful enough when everything was rosy in her world. I dreaded to think what she was like in her current state.
*
The dorm rooms were so quiet compared to earlier. It was as though I had stepped into a ghost town. My throat was dry and I felt light-headed. I reached her door. The foreboding sign warned me not to enter unless invited. There was an aura around the room, pushing over people away. I tentatively knocked, softly. For a moment I was afraid it was too soft and I didn’t know if I had the courage to knock again. The door opened. Tommy stood there. The room was dark, just like Adam’s had been. Even though Tommy answered the door it was Angelica who addressed me.
“What do you want? Haven’t you already done enough today? I hope Mrs. Thorpe has already spoken to you because it’s better that people like you don’t get to be here. You should just go.”
“I just want to apologize to Julia,” I said humbly, hating that I had to come to her like this. I peered through the darkness and tried to see where she was, but they all blended into the shadows and it was difficult to see past Tommy, who did his best to block the door.
“She doesn’t want your apology. She doesn’t want anything from you. Just go and leave us alone.”
I wasn’t about to be deterred by Angelica. I decided to just ignore her, say my piece, and then leave.