For a moment I stood in the foyer like an idiot, unsure of what to do. I wanted to leave. Well, my pride and fear that it would be stomped on wanted to leave. I wanted to build a wall around my heart and go home licking my wounds and get Noel St. Martin out of my system.
But his words suggested he wanted me to stay and the woman falling for my difficult neighbor wanted to stay. Did he want to talk about us? Or was he just being polite?
Not wanting to be accused of overreacting or being rude by running off, I went to the kitchen and found the wine. I brought in my wineglass from the sunroom and filled it, drinking half the glass in a gulp. I found a beer in the fridge, and I popped the top, setting it on the island counter for Noel.
The longer I waited, the bigger fool I felt I was being. I gulped down the remaining wine and was pouring a second glass when my phone rang. I pulled it from the purse I’d left on the counter when I first arrived. Looking at the caller ID I saw it was Bran. I was going to let it go to voicemail, but then decided that talking to him might bump me out of this weird mood I was in. I needed to get back to being the strong-willed, independent, don't-take-no-shit woman that I was.
"Bran."
"Are you still pissed at me?" Before I could answer he said, "Never mind. When are you never pissed at me?"
His words brought a pang of guilt. Granted, he was forever doing things that felt invasive to my life, but he was my brother. "Are you calling just to find out if I’m mad?"
He laughed. "Maybe a little. If it makes you feel any better Anne gave me an earful last night when I told her about your visit. I'm sure she's going to call you and tell you all about how she put me in my place. You'll be very proud of her."
"You know you're very lucky that she puts up with you. Me? I don't have a choice, but she does."
"Don't I know it." His tone was more serious than I expected. It was a reminder to me that despite my brother's domineering ways, his emotions ran deep.
Maybe that was the problem with me and Noel. While there was an intensity in the chemistry between us, it wasn't emotionally driven unless it was out of anger. I could love as deeply as Bran, but the idea of it scared me to death especially with someone like Noel who was attracted to me, but clearly didn’t trust or respect me. I knew Noel was capable of love. His devotion to Mo was evident. But Noel’s love wouldn’t ever extend to me.
"Actually, the reason for my call is I wanted your advice on something. I'm looking at buying a new company and I think your insights into the industry could be helpful to me. In fact, while I know you’re probably going to automatically say no to this, I was hoping maybe you could come on as a consultant or be a partner in this project. And before you start accusing me of trying to plan your life for you, the only reason I'm calling you now is I really do think this is a business you'd be interested in."
"I don't know how you could possibly think that. I have no interest or hobby." It hit me that I was a very dull person. No wonder Noel thought I was vapid and shallow. Up until I moved here, my life was filled with clubbing and maybe some charity work. I pinched the bridge of my nose with my forefinger and pinky to ward off the tears that threatened at the realization that there was very little substance to me.
"Are you okay? You sound down. I really am sorry about the house and my plan with Noel." Bran’s voice was sincere and for the first time in a long time, I wanted his support. Even so, I didn’t want to give Bran any ideas that I needed his support. He’d use it to start planning my life again.
"Yeah, you should just drop the plan with Noel." I took my wine and sat at Noel’s kitchen table.
"Maybe I'll just be more direct. But that’s not why I’m calling. What I really want to talk to you about is this other business."
"You don't need another business, Bran."
"No, I don't need a new business. But this one has a great deal of potential. It’s successful, but could be better. It's going through a transition, and I really think that you and I together could do something with it. But even if you don't want to be part of it, I would love to have your input."
"Maybe instead of buying an existing business that has potential but is in transition, you could start something from scratch. You've been a wonder boy in business, but all the ones you've built were created by somebody else and I can't help but wonder if maybe this constant buying of businesses, which you don't need to do because you're richer than God, is to try to fulfill some sort of need. Maybe that need would be better fulfilled if you created something that was yours to begin with."
I glanced over my shoulder wondering where Noel was. It occurred to me that if he caught me on the phone with Bran, he’d get the wrong idea. He didn’t buy my story so chances were he’d think I was planning something with Bran.
"Anne said something similar last night. It's something I'm considering, but it doesn't change my mind about this particular project. Please. Let's just get together and you can hear me out."
I knew he would hassle me until I agreed. And since I just had the revelation that my life was empty, maybe it was time that I let my big brother assist in guiding me to fill the void. "Yeah, okay, I'll do it. I can meet with you tomorrow and we can discuss it."
"Fantastic. I promise, Harper, you will find this interesting. I'll see you tomorrow. Anytime."
I hung up the phone and for a moment just sat with my feelings.
"Were you on the phone?"
I whirled around, startled to hear Noel. He entered the kitchen carrying Mo. For once he wasn't crying.
"Yeah. It was nothing." While it was clear to me that what I'd hoped for with Noel wasn't going to be happening, I didn't want to ruin what little truce we’d made by bringing up Bran's name. I stood and retrieved the bottle on the counter and handed it to him. "I figured you'd want beer instead of wine."
He watched me intently as he took a swig of the beer. There was something about his stare that made me uncomfortable.
A desperate need to escape consumed me. I set my wine glass on the island counter and picked up my purse. "Maybe I should go."
Just then Noel's phone rang. With his free hand he pulled his phone from his pocket, and he looked at the caller ID. Then he looked at me. "Yeah, I think you should."