“You drive me mad, Harper.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Her hands slipped under my shirt. She grazed her nails over my nipples, and I nearly came out of my skin.
“Fuck.” My hands took control, stripping her down and then laying her on the couch. “Hold on, lady. I’m going to give you the orgasm of a lifetime.”
Her smile was sensual and daring, and I had another thought about how bad this was. She said she was attracted to me. She was interested in seeing where this would go, but I knew without a doubt that I was the one that was going to get his ass kicked by…love.
Jesus fuck. Love? I wasn’t there yet, but I would be if I kept going. Despite my mistrust, everything else about her spoke to me like no woman ever had. That, added to how nurturing she was to Mo, had my heart all tangled up.
Her brow furrowed. “Is everything alright?”
I nodded even as everything inside me screamed to get out now while I had the chance. I knew I couldn’t last if I went down on her, so I stripped off my clothes, rolled on a condom, and knelt on the couch between her legs.
I guided my dick to her pussy, sliding it through her folds. She sighed, arching back. She was so fucking beautiful, and I was doomed.
As a mercenary, I’d run into danger knowing full well that I could die. I wasn’t afraid of death. Not then. Not now.
But I was afraid of this woman and the potential that she could kill me in a different way. Even knowing that, I gripped her hips and thrust forward. The pleasure was divine even as I knew down the line the pain would be worse than what I felt with the loss of my best friend Bastion.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
Harper
Why did Noel and I have so much trouble communicating when our bodies were so in sync? Right now, I didn’t want to think about it. I wanted to focus on Noel’s touch and the way he felt inside me. This time, it felt different. It was as delicious as before, but there was something more.
Now that my heart was open for more, the feelings were intensified. I felt them not just physically, but in my soul as well and it made the experience all the more pleasurable.
“Noel.” I reached for him, wanting to feel him over me.
He leaned over, kissing me hard and then tearing his mouth away, he returned to his position sitting on his heels as he gripped my hips and thrust in and out, in and out.
“You drive me fucking crazy,” he growled as he picked up the pace. “What is it about you?”
His words tried to filter in, but I pushed them away because I wasn’t sure I wanted to register them. There was something about them that didn’t sound positive.
He hooked my legs over his shoulders and leaned forward, gripping the back of the couch as he sank deeper, harder, faster into me.
My breath caught as I dangled on the edge of pleasure. I wanted to stay there forever. But then he threw his head back, letting out a feral yell as he plunged in, hitting me in all the right places, the friction beyond exquisite and I came apart with him.
We continued to move, drawing out the pleasure even though I could barely breathe.
As I worked to catch my breath, an unsettling feeling rose in me. It was a different discomfort than before. Before, when I felt Noel was a liar, after sex, regret came on swift and fierce. This wasn't regret. At least not on my end. But Noel…I could sense he was pulling away. It brought forth how much I'd hoped that this time would be different. That with our new understanding this would be more than sex. Oh sure, it was too early to be talking about love and happily ever after, but I'd hoped that he felt something for me beyond lust.
But as I watched him while he caught his breath, I realized I was wrong about that. He’d removed my legs from his shoulders and sat back on his heels, one hand on his thigh, the other still on the back of the couch as he heaved in deep breaths. He didn't look at me. He didn't even touch me, at least not purposefully. There were no soft caresses. No cuddling. Just like before.
"Ah fuck." He scraped a hand over his face and then reaching between our bodies, he gripped the edge of the condom as he withdrew leaving me feeling empty in body and soul.
He stood. "I left the monitor in the sunroom." Quickly slipping on his jeans, he hurried out of the room. As an excuse to get away quickly, saying he forgot the monitor was a good one. Maybe it was even true. But it didn't change the emptiness I felt.
Suck it up, Harper. I stood and began to dress, lecturing myself on letting my emotions get the best of me. There was clearly something wrong with my heart that it felt for this man when in the history of our acquaintance, we'd never gotten along except when we were having sex. Sex wasn't love. A relationship couldn’t be built on sex alone.
Resigned that this effort was a bust, I tried to be satisfied that I’d done what I came to do; apologize and share my feelings. All that was left now was to leave and not let him see how mortified I was to have let myself begin to fall for him.
When I reached the foyer, he was trotting in from the kitchen.
He stopped short when he saw me. "Sorry about that. Mo is up. I’m going to run upstairs to get him."
I started to tell him that I was leaving, but then he said, "I'll be right back. There's more wine in the kitchen if you want to pour some for yourself." Then he headed up the stairs two-by-two.