The hardness of his tone made me flinch. The words felt like a stab in my chest, and it was a reminder that I’d done a terrible job protecting myself from a man who might like my body, but didn't like me. It was proof positive that Cupid was a sadist.
Or maybe Cupid didn't like me either.
I brushed past Noel giving Mo a soft kiss on the head, knowing it would likely be the last time I saw him. My heart squeezed harder at that idea. Like an idiot, I had fantasized about the three of us being together. I’d done all I could to see if that was possible and I'd lost.
As I left the kitchen I could hear Noel answer his phone. "Lupe? What's going on?"
I knew I should keep going straight out the door, but I slowed my pace wanting to hear the conversation. It was rude, but I couldn't help myself.
"Mo is fine. He's doing better, but he needs his mother. We need you here."
And with those words, all my hopes and dreams were completely demolished. Either, Noel was a cheater, or at the very least he was still pinning for Mo’s mother.
As I walked out the door, I welcomed the anger. I much preferred the anger over the pain of being used and abused.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
Noel
I was having a hard time following the conversation with Lupe because I was seething with anger at what I'd overheard between Harper and Bran. I'd been right in that Bran was looking at taking over Saint Security and using Harper to help him. But being right was little consolation when I was so clearly feeling more for the woman who, it turned out, was betraying me.
I was like a man possessed when I was around her. Need consumed me. I tried to tell myself the need was only sexual, but it wasn't. At least not on my end. But on her side, she'd concocted an elaborate story to explain away her and Bran's behavior and while I hadn’t completely bought it, when she suggested that perhaps there was something more between us, I wanted to grab onto that like a lifeline.
I lived my life wanting adventure and excitement, but after Bastion died I'd closed myself off from the world. I told myself I didn't want or need it anymore, but it was a lie. Harper brought excitement back into my life. After years of not feeling, she opened the floodgates to a whole range of emotions. Not all of them were good, but it was refreshing not to be numb anymore.
Except now. Now I didn’t like feeling pissed at myself for being played as a fool. I'd asked her about the call, giving her every chance to come clean, but she didn't. She wouldn't even acknowledge it was Bran on the phone. That was all the proof I needed to know that I'd been conned. My dick had led me astray and my heart had followed.
To think I'd come back into the kitchen planning to have the discussion about where we went from here despite my misgivings made me feel like the world's largest idiot. I should've paid attention to my instinct and sent her home the minute we arrived back from lunch. Hell, I should've avoided her from the very start. Maybe I should've stayed in New York.
Lupe's crying broke through my thoughts of Harper. My body went into high alert knowing something was wrong.
“I want to make sure that you still have Guillermo. You haven't put him in an orphanage or anything, have you?"
What sort of nonsense was she spouting now? “You're talking crazy, Lupe. I would never abandon my son." I looked down at Mo who was entranced by his hands as they moved in the air.
"I really want to see him."
"Well the answer is that you come up here and see him." Why was it that the women in my life were so difficult? Dangerous?
“I can't do that. I know you think I'm a bad mother but I'm doing this to protect him."
"I know that you're mixed up in something bad down there. All you have to do is give me the word and I'll get you out." It would be more difficult now that Lupe was in a position of power, but it wasn't impossible. Maybe it was wrong to help her come to us and be a mother to Mo.
Afterall, she was an active member of the cartel.
But who was I to judge? My life wasn't squeaky clean. In the end, she was his mother and clearly loved him.
"You naïve, Noel, if you think I can just walk out of here and live a normal life."
I'd been called a lot of things in life, but naïve had never been one of them.
"Just because I've been out of the game doesn't mean I don't know how to play it. Don't underestimate Lupe."
"Just promise me that you'll keep him with you no matter what."
"Of course." I pulled the phone away frowning into it as I wondered why the hell she thought I would abandon him. I put the phone up to my ear and was about to say more when I heard a man's voice calling her name.
The sound of his voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. As I strained to hear, I wasn’t sure why I had this response, unless, of course, she'd been caught talking to me when she should've been.