“I don’t want…” I look away, then slowly pull away from the car. I must look demented. My shoulders droop. God, I’m so tired. “I can’t face him. I’m not ready yet.”
She looks at me for a moment, then kills the engine and climbs out of the convertible. Her hand rests gently on my shoulder.
The skin around my eyes heats with unshed tears. Why isn’t she yelling? Then I wouldn’t feel like crying now.
“Honey, it’s okay,” she says softly.
“No, it’s not. I should’ve said something before.” My voice is thick and shaky. I cover my eyes with a trembling hand.
“So? Do you think that would’ve made any difference?”
“Don’t you?”
“Nope. He doesn’t let go when he decides he wants something or someone. And he wants you, dear.”
“Because he didn’t know.”
“He knew it all. He said so after Shelly attacked you. Didn’t you hear?”
Slowly, I drop my hand and look at her, confusion and shock swirling through my head. “No. I…I left after she said the thing about kids. He never said a word to me about it, though.” And why didn’t he? Was he too stunned to bring it up? Or maybe he was lying to make Shelly shut up. He despises her, so it?
?s possible.
“Yes. He should’ve said something before now. And you should’ve stayed. You deserve our hospitality far more than that ho.”
I do a double take. Did Mrs. Darling just say “ho”?
“Don’t be shocked. That’s exactly what she is for cheating on David.” She takes my hand and places it on her open palm. “But even without that, David never wanted Shelly enough, at least not enough to move to Seattle with her. I just wanted them to be together because they looked so good for so long. I was kidding myself, and I knew it. Just didn’t want to admit it.”
“You heard Shelly. She isn’t wrong about my mom.”
Mrs. Darling scoffs. “So? My dad was mentally ill. Do you know that?”
“Your… No, I didn’t.” She’s so indomitable, so vibrant and wonderful, it never crossed my mind that there would be anything like that in her past. And it makes me empathize with her more—that we share something similar.
She sighs quietly. “We had to put him in a care facility eventually. But that doesn’t mean we loved him any less. It was what it was, and I think, in a way, he knew. And as sad as what happened to my father was, I don’t think I’m crazy or heading in that direction. Do you?”
“No,” I say hurriedly.
“Exactly.” She smiles a self-satisfied smile. “Don’t be so obsessed with the possibility of something bad happening. It’ll only ensure that nothing good ever happens. You can look at your life as full of risks—that some terrible unknown could bring everything crashing down. Or look at it as full of possibilities—that you can seize an opportunity and make something good happen.”
Her little speech percolates through my mind, and I soak it in, one wise, loving word at a time. Nobody has ever said that to me before. And I’ve never thought of my life that way. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Because David loves you. And I want my son to be happy. And I’d also like a grandchild or two.” She looks at me kindly. “Don’t give up on him—or yourself—because of what happened to your mom. It’s not fair to either of you. He’s a big boy, and he knows what he wants.”
I stare at her in shock. Give up on him? Is that what I’m doing? All this time I thought I was giving him a better option. Somebody who wouldn’t be a burden to him in the end.
But she’s right. I’m being a quitter. I’m not giving us a chance because of something that might not happen at all.
It’s scary as hell to seize what I want, though. But isn’t it worse to give up on David? He already knows my history and wants me anyway. She’s right. What I’m doing isn’t fair to him. Or me.
“Now come on,” Mrs. Darling says. “Let’s take you home. Virginia is much too muggy to stay out in the summer, sweetie. Even in the evening.”
She positions herself behind me, places her hands on my shoulders and steers me toward the passenger side of her car. After opening the door, she gently pushes me into the seat and shuts the door.
“Buckle up,” she says as she goes around to the driver’s side. “And you might want to text David to let him know we’ll be home soon. No telling what he’ll do otherwise.”
Chapter Forty-Seven