“I think Tess wants to take you shopping. For baby stuff.” He smiled at her like his words didn’t change everything.
Mandy tried to smile back but failed. Tossing her phone on the bed, she went to the bathroom without saying a word. She couldn’t. They were trapped behind the lump in her throat. She wasn’t going to let him see how much she hurt over this. Because he didn’t.
Sitting on the closed toilet lid, she grabbed a towel and covered her face. Letting the towel catch her tears and muffle the sounds of her crying, she stayed there. Trying to recover so he wouldn’t see her destroyed.
Hue knocked on the door and asked, “Are you almost ready to go, Mandy?”
Gone was his nickname for her. Gone was the playfulness she had grown to love with him. She should’ve noticed it was gone, that he was treating her differently. Instead, she had been too focused on her son and had missed all the signs. Again, she hadn’t given Hue the attention he needed.
Pulling the towel from her face long enough, she answered, “Just about.” But she knew her voice had cracked at the end of the words.
“Mandy, are you okay?” he asked from behind the door.
Again, she lowered the towel and said, “Yes.” Maybe it even sounded better this time.
“Mandy?” Hue said again. But this time, he opened the door she hadn’t locked. Why hadn’t she locked it? “Why are you crying?”
“No reason,” she said as he squatted down in front of her.
“Seems like there’s a reason.” He took her hands in his, letting the towel drop to her lap.
Taking a deep breath, she said the words he needed to hear, the ones that let him off the hook for a mistake he made weeks before. “I understand, Hue. Really, I do. You didn’t know what you were getting into here with me and Noah. It’s hard. I understand not wanting to do it anymore.”
“What are you talking about?” There was confusion in his blue eyes.
Why was he making this so hard?
“You are leaving. I understand.” She knew there were tears running down her face. She couldn’t stop them, and she didn’t try.
“I am not leaving you and Noah, Mandy. I am going back to work tomorrow so that when he is released, I can stay home for a few weeks. I thought I had told you earlier I was planning this. I want to be at home when we bring him home. Help you then. I’m not much help here.” His thumb wiped the tears away.
“But I understand if you want to be done with this. It was emotional for a long time. You got swept up in it. I understand if you suddenly see this for what it is. It’s a lot.”
“And what is it, Nordskov?” His voice was sharp, making her flinch. She wished he didn’t call her that in anger only.
“A mistake. I mean, I see what I look like, I understand. You don’t want to be saddled with me just because of him.” She looked away from his blue eyes staring at her too closely.
“Why can’t you ever see you the way I see you? You’re the same woman I’ve been dreaming of getting into bed for over two years now. That hasn’t changed. You haven’t changed. So, you have a few extra pounds? You had a baby.” He pulled her off the toilet seat and onto his lap. His arms went around her, and he held her close.
“I had a few extra pounds then, too,” she said into his chest.
“I never noticed that, Mandy. All I see when I look at you is Mandy.” He pulled away slightly and kissed her.
Returning his kiss, she realized how much she missed him. Missed his touch, missed his taste, missed him completely. For a long time, she thought that what his touch did to her body was just pregnancy hormones, but to her delight, the feelings were still there. And there were no hormones around. But then again, she thought he was hot when he helped her move into the apartment, and there was no pregnancy then, either. Back then, she had been able to stop thinking of him like that, but not anymore.
As he deepened the kiss, she was a very willing participant. Her hands wandered over the body she had missed touching for so long. His arms around her were as wonderful as they always were, and his mouth was better than she remembered.
“I missed you,” she whispered as his lips left her to nuzzle her neck.
“I was close the entire time.” His hand slipped under her shirt and cupped her breasts.
“You were mad.” She moaned at the sensations his hands caused.
“Never mad enough that I didn’t want you.” His hands unclasped her bra so he could grasp the real thing, no barrier.
“I’m breastfeeding,” she warned as his hands made her tingle and long for more.
“I know.” He rubbed her nipple with his thumb.