“Okay,” she whispered back, as if she hadn’t heard what he had said.
“Which one?” He pulled away.
“Any of them.” She mindlessly sat down.
Glancing over the songs, he decided which one it would be as he talked about all the good things he knew and had heard about the man they were burying today. When it was time, he announced that Hazel was going to sing. Murmurs floated through the church as she slowly got up. When she got to the front of the congregation, he picked up the guitar the other singer had left there.
It seemed like she was taking hours to straighten the instrument and make sure the straps were the right length. Shorten it, then it was too short, then too long again, then she took off the strap altogether, tucking it was between her body and the instrument.
She strummed the strings and tightened one, then did it again. Satisfied, she took a deep breath, looked at her fingers, and started to play the opening lines of Amazing Grace.
Once she started to sing, she stopped playing the instrument altogether and sang acapella. But she didn’t lift her face, just looked at her fingers resting on the strings. Her voice was steady, sure, and simply amazing. He had heard the song hundreds of times in his life, but it had never moved him like when Hazel sang it.
When she finally sang the last verse, she set the guitar she had barely used back on its stand and walked shakily back to her seat. Wiping his eyes, he stood up and saw that people were either wiping their own tears away or just staring at the front.
“Thank you, Hazel. That was beautiful.” He was looking at her and caught her eye, but they were clear of tears. It was surprising how she hadn’t been able to shed many tears for her grandfather when tears were always at the surface with her.
Once the funeral was over, Ruston was outside in the sunshine to bury the man. Hazel would not attend this part; she had told him as much the night before. Her grandmother had been mad at her for not being with the woman for this important part, but it was what Hazel wanted, and he did not push it.
Now that the friends and few family members had left the folding chairs to go back in for lunch, Ruston sat on one of the chairs and prayed. Closing his eyes, he prayed that Hazel was not just pushing the pain of John’s passing down only to come up when she least expected it. Though he had started to suspect that the years since the accident had changed the older couple and Hazel wasn’t as close to them as she used to be. Even if they lived together.
With a deep breath, he decided he better get back in the church to be at Hazel’s side where he belonged. And now that his duties were done, he could just be by her for support.
As he got up from the chair, he sat back down heavily. Right there was Hanna and Henry’s grave. No wonder she didn’t come out there. They were here, but where else would they have been? He wanted to laugh since Hanna’s middle name was Hazel. And Hazel’s middle name was Hanna. It was right there on her grave. A sudden anger rushed through his body that he had never felt before. He wanted to walk into that church and yell at the old woman until she finally realized how cruel she had been. Because instead of two names on the grave, there were three. The old couple had bought a grave for their granddaughter who had survived. In a way, telling her they would have liked her dead also.
“I don’t know if she actually knows,” Natalie said softly from behind him.
“How could she not know?” he demanded. His anger was focused on the wrong person. Because Natalie would never have done this to her friend.
“Because I don’t think she’s ever been out here.” Natalie walked up beside him.
“Why would they even do this?”
“I wish I knew. I almost died in that accident, but Hazel has been dying a little every day ever since it happened. Those who were supposed to love her most didn’t care anymore.”
Sam came up behind Natalie and put his arms around her.
“I’m glad the funeral is over. I don’t think I have much nice to say about that man now,” Ruston admitted.
Natalie nodded in agreement. “She still sings like an angel.”
“Yes, there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.” He would have been able to see that when Natalie couldn’t.
“Except for her,” Natalie said the words. She had noticed too.
“Yes. You see the real Hazel when she sings.” He looked at her name on the stone, wishing he had never seen it. Wishing he could forget he ever saw it.
CHAPTER21
The two weeksleading up to the wedding had flown by after the funeral. Hazel had thought it would drag, but it seemed to go by in an instant. Maybe it was because she was actually dreading it. Dreading the wedding, dreading being married, everything.
And it wasn’t even that she was not in love with Ruston, she was. Madly, deeply in love with him. But she knew deep down she wasn’t right for him. He needed someone better than her, someone who shared his faith.
It wasn’t that she had fallen in love with him just in the last few weeks; it was that she had finally allowed herself to love him. She had been falling for him all summer—every time she saw him, talked to him, watched him with her son, she lost a little bit more of her heart until he had it all. Still, she hadn’t been able to say the words to him yet.
Last night had been the rehearsal dinner, and she had met Ruston’s other brothers and families. It was a lot more people than Hazel had been ready for. Thomas had been there and was making threats to Ruston about things that might be in the ceremony. But she was relaxed—Ruston didn’t let it bother him, so she hadn’t let it bother her.
She had chosen Natalie, and Ruston had chosen his twin brother to be their witnesses. But they had chosen to stand in front of the church alone together. Neither wanted a big wedding party or a big wedding, just them.