Chapter Sixteen
Skylar
The conversation was left where it was the other day. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him anymore or embarrass myself further. I put my feelings out there, and he reacted. I can’t change it, and I don’t know if I want to.
Days have gone by in a blur of us coexisting. We haven’t muttered more than a word to each other, which bothers me. I hate the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. I feel lost all over again, and I don’t like it.
Trying to have some normality, I slip into my bikini and walk into the living room.
“I’m going swimming,” I tell him as he sits on the couch looking at a paper.
“Not in that you’re not,” he declares, nodding toward my swimsuit. I look down, trying to figure out what the problem is. I bought this the other day while we were out shopping, and I don’t see the issue.
“What’s wrong with it?” I ask as he eyes every visible piece of flesh on my body. It causes heat to stir inside me, and I nearly shiver from his stare.
“For one, it’s too small. It shows off way too much skin. We’re supposed to blend in, not stick out,” he tells me.
“And two?” I ask teasingly, knowing he has something else to say. I can see the look in his eyes.
“And two, I don’t want to go to jail in Spain for kicking some man’s ass for looking at you the wrong way. I hear the food’s bad in there,” he answers, causing me a laugh a little. It feels good to laugh again.
“Well, I like it, and I think the food here is good. Don’t drop the soap,” I retort before flipping my hair over my shoulder, grabbing my towel, and heading for the door. I don’t need him to tell me what to wear, and maybe a small part of me wore it for him. I want his attention on me. I want him to see me, but I don’t know how to make that happen.
I walk down the steps and around to the side of the building where the pool sits. I know Justice is behind me. His eyes burn my skin. I toss my towel onto a seat, knowing there are eyes on me as I step into the pool. The water cools my heated flesh as I dive under and swim a little. I come up on the other side and flip my hair over my shoulder. I can still feel his gaze on me, but I don’t look over and give him that satisfaction.
Instead, I swim around in the water, enjoying the slight freedom. Then I dive under and swim to the other end of the pool before popping back up.
“What do you want out of life?” I jerk my head around to see Justice in the pool now, water running off his body. I take him in. God, he looks good even when he shouldn’t.
We’ve spent some incredible time together, but that’s all over now. He made that clear. Yet I can’t stop the yearning for more from him. Justice brought me a place where I learned to trust again, and then he snatched it away. Why is this so hard for me to let go of?
We left things hanging in the air the other night, and I think that’s the way they need to stay. We’re two different people from two different worlds. Both wandering to find a place to fit in. I didn’t realize it at first, but he is struggling too.
“What do you mean?” I ask as he wades closer, brushing some hair away from my face.
“Just what I said. You have to have dreams or aspirations. What do you want to do with your life?” he asks, his tone serious. It almost shocks me he’s asking, and I debate answering him.
“I don’t really know. The future never looked that bright to me. I love having my shop, so owning a few more in different locations would make me happy. I really can’t say right now,” I admit to him. Justice nods his head as if he understands before he speaks.
“I want to own more clubs. I want to be known for running the best, most elite clubs on the west coast,” he reveals with a slight smile that melts me inside.
“What’s stopping you?” I ask, brushing my hair over my shoulder.
“Me. I’m stopping me. Fear of the past stops me from going after many things I want. I’m afraid of a repeat. I’m afraid of losing control again.” His face changes. His eyes aren’t as bright, his half-smile gone.
“That’s a sad way to live,” I tell him. But am I much different? I’m afraid of the past too. I’m afraid of getting hurt and losing trust in someone else.
“It is indeed.”
“We can all change our future, Justice. We just have to give in and try,” I tell him. He chuckles and smiles at me.
“We’re so much alike,” he says, catching me by surprise.
“How do you mean?”
“We’re both running from a past we can’t change. Afraid of a future we might want. We’re not so different, Skylar.”
His hand comes up to cup my face, his thumb moving back and forth across my cheek, and I want to lose it. I want to throw myself into him, but I can’t do that.
“Isn’t that the perfect match? Don’t you think we complement each other?” His fingers brush along my skin, and my insides tremble.
“At the club? Yes, we do. In life? We’re both so broken.” And just like that, he ruins me a little more.