CHAPTERFOUR
Stella
Ifell back asleep after falling apart on Toby’s shoulder and soaking his hoodie with my tears.
But when I come back to and force my eyes open, he’s right there in the chair next to my bed, his concerned eyes on me and his hand holding mine protectively.
My heart aches, although not as much as my stomach.
I hadn’t really noticed much pain the last couple of times I’d come around, but right now, I have no reason to disbelieve the nurse’s words yesterday about me being stabbed. In fact, I feel like I’ve been cut in half with the burning ache in my belly.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, although from the way he frowns, he probably realizes his mistake pretty fast.
What isn’t wrong right now?
“It’s hurting.”
“The nurse said they’ve been reducing your pain meds.”
“Great,” I mutter.
“Call them, they can give you more.”
“I’ll be okay,” I say, trying to put on a brave face. I know that the more meds I need, the longer I’m going to be stuck here. And now I’m awake, this is the last place I want to be. I can cope with a bit of pain if it means I can escape soon.
“Stella,” he warns.
I stare at him, my eyes flicking over his features. I’m missing something, I know I am. But I have no idea what it is.
A soft smile plays on his lips.
“Do I look different now?” he asks, pouring me a fresh glass of water and passing it over.
“Umm… no. Why?”
“How much do you remember from the day you were attacked?”
My eyes drop to his lips as my dream comes back to me.
That wasn’t just a dream, was it?
“I-I remember being at home. I remember you being there. I remember…” I trail off, biting down on my bottom lip as my stomach knots.
Did that really happen? Did Toby really kiss me?
Is that why he came to me so fast last night, because something could be happening here?
“Do you remember what happened after… that? What your dad told us?”
Closing my eyes, I fight with the darkness that clouds those hours before I was stabbed. But I’ve got nothing.
I remember his body pressed against mine. I remember the relief as our lips touched. The escape, even if it was short-lived.
I shake my head, finally opening my eyes again.
“No. Everything’s just not there,” I whisper, trying not to show how frustrated I am about not being completely aware of parts of my life. Important parts, if the way he’s looking at me is anything to go by.
“Shit,” he breathes, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.