“Just tell me, please.”
He bites on the inside of his lips for a beat, his eyes dropping before finding some strength from somewhere, because when they come back to mine, there’s a determination within them that wasn’t there before.
“Stella, you’re my sister.”
“Fuck off,” I laugh, instantly regretting it when shooting pain explodes from my belly. “Oh shit, that hurts. No more jokes please,” I beg, pressing my palm gently to my belly.
“I’m not joking.”
Any of the humor that was lingering from his statement immediately vanishes when I look into his serious eyes.
“Y-you’re not. B-but… you kissed me.”
He scrubs his hand over his face and lets out a heavy sigh.
“I had no clue, Stella. If I did… fuck. If I did, I certainly wouldn’t have been thinking the things I have over the past few weeks. And I wouldn’t have kissed you.”
“This is so fucked up.”
“Yeah,” he says with a laugh. “You can say that again.”
“Fucking hell.” Lifting my free hand, I push my hair back from my face, trying once again to drag some memories up.
Toby remains silent beside me, giving me the time I need to attempt to get my head around this, if that’s even possible.
“That’s why I ran,” I whisper.
“Yeah,” he confirms. “I’m so sorry.” His hand squeezes mine, bringing my eyes back to his exhausted ones.
A humorless laugh falls from my lips. “It’s hardly your fault.”
His brows lift. “No, you’ve got me there.”
“So… is my dad actually my dad or…”
“Yeah, he is.”
“Well, that’s a relief. Something he hasn’t lied to me about.”
Empathy oozes from Toby. For possibly the first time ever, someone actually understands how I’m feeling.
How betrayed I feel for being lied to for… well, my entire life.
“I don’t know the details. Only what your dad told me after… yeah. He and my mum, they had an affair.”
“Holy shit.”
“But you’re only… a year older than me?”
“Eleven months.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah.”
“Have you spoken to your mom about this?”
He shakes his head, something dark passing through his eyes.