I chuck a pillow at his head and he deftly dodges out of the way. Ugh! Annoying quick-reflexed bastard!
I throw another one but I’m quickly out of ammo.
“The doctor says you shouldn’t engage in strenuous activity,” he has the gall to respond.
“You heard her, she said aerobics and hard-core jogging. She probably meant weight-lifting and stuff like that. Besides, she specifically just said sex was safe.”
He heaves out a heavy breath. “Well, there are other things that aren’t.”
I throw up my hands. “Like?”
He steps forward until he leans over me where I sit in the middle of the bed. “No contact sports and no horse riding.”
I’m about to object to the last one when he silences me. “Even the most experienced rider can take a tumble. I will not take the risk with you and our child.”
Well, that shuts me up. Me and our child.
So… am I not the only one picturing Daddy and baby and me makes three?
It’s been a big enough hurdle getting accustomed to the idea that I actually want to be a mother. I haven’t wavered since the initial realization. That’s not how I work. I’m not sure if it’s a strength or a weakness—but once I commit to a course of action, I’m in it, come hell or high water.
So, me and this motherhood thing? I might have never changed a single diaper in my life or have any clue what the hell I’m doing, but this kid is mine.
Thing is, that wasn’t part of the contract.
Neither was falling for Xavier.
I want them both.
Life has proven a tricky bitch when it comes to giving me what I want, though.
“What happens after the baby is born?” I ask, moving to the edge of the bed. I need my feet on solid ground for this. My need to know suddenly outweighs my fear of his answer. “Are you still planning to ship me back to New York and keep our baby for yourself?”
My arms cross over my stomach protectively and I lift my chin. “Because you can go to hell if that’s what you think. I don’t care about the stupid contract I signed.”
There it is. My line in the sand. I’m not sure if I’m saying that when push comes to shove, I choose our baby over him, but I do know there’s no goddamned way he’s pushing me out of this child’s life.
Xavier’s face goes hard and his blue eyes icy as he stands above me beside the bed. “I will chase you and our child to the ends of the earth if you ever try to leave me.”
“What? That wasn’t even—”
He lifts me by the armpits onto the bed and then drops on top of me, covering my body with his own. His eyes are still dangerous. He hovers several inches over me but it’s no less intimidating. “If you ever so much as think of leaving me, I’ll tie you to this bed. You’ll think those few days in the shed were a walk in the park compared to the chains I’ll lock on you while your belly gets fat with my son or daughter.”
“Just while I’m pregnant? Can’t bear to let your precious cargo out of your sight, huh?” I struggle underneath the slight pressure of his weight that he uses to hold me down with and he grabs my wrists, pinning them to either side of my head. I scream in frustration, then spit out, “Was I ever anything more to you than a goddamned walking incubator?”
I squeeze my eyes shut and turn my head away after my outburst, knowing I’ve revealed too much. Exposed my raw insides.
When I feel his large fingers underneath my chin, I resist his pulling my head back toward him. Naturally, I lose the struggle and finally give in.
“Look at me,” he orders.
I keep my eyes stubbornly shut.
“Look at me.” He gives my chin a firm shake.
Goddamn him, I know he won’t give up until I do as ‘Master’ commands, so I open my eyes, flashing them furiously. Anger is my best shield at the moment.
I expect to see him looking just as hard and angry.
What I’m not prepared for is the softness that takes over his features. Or the way his eyes flick back and forth between mine like he’s searching for something.
“I never saw you like that.” He speaks the words softly. “I’ve been training you because I wanted you to stay. For you to choose to stay.” The blue of his irises has never seemed more vibrant. “So I could keep you.”
I— Does that mean—
I blink. I’m not sure if he means ‘training me’ like training me to work with horses or training me like he trains the horses.
So I could keep you.
In the end, it doesn’t matter which way he meant it. I’m in far too deep.