I know she’s thinking about her sister, Calla. “Hey, you had a reason for putting yourself last. His name is Bolton, and he and his father, Shadow, are eternally grateful for everything you’ve done.” I reach out and grab her hand. “He didn’t start calling you mama just because you and Shadow are getting married.”
She smiles. “Yeah?”
“Fuck yes, woman. For all intents and purposes, he’s your son. Not hers. She carried him, brought him into the world, and proceeded to fail him on such a deep level, I can’t even wrap my head around it,” I say, sneering as the disgust turns my stomach. I never understood people who had children, and put them last. Like they were an afterthought. “You’re already a better mother than she will ever be. Bolton’s grown, Calla’s lost her chance to make things up to him. By the time she gets out of prison, he’ll be pushing twenty-one.”
Blue frowns. “It’s sad.”
“It is, but it was her decisions that got her where she is, and she is the only one who has to deal with that. Not you,” I say, refusing to let her slip back into her toxic cycle with her sister for even a second.
“I think about her sometimes, you know. I wonder how she’s doing, and if I was too harsh with her. I was hurting when I came to her. I should’ve let someone else deliver the news. He was her father, too, regardless of if their DNA was different.”
I can hear the regret in her voice. “Blue, you been putting up with her shit for too long. Everyone has a breaking point, and we both know if she’d bucked up and handled her shit, Psycho would be alive right now. It’s okay to be pissed about that, and be upset with her.”
“Then why does it feel so wrong?” Blue whispers.
“Because you’re too good of a person.”
Blue laughs. “Dixie Rose!”
“What? It’s the honest to God truth. I swear, you were put with us as some sort of neutralizer to make up for all the bad shit done.”
“Oh, please. What bad shit have you done?” Blue scoffs.
“I’ve done some dirt,” I reply, offended.
“What? Smoking joints under the bleachers?” she teases.
“Hey, I’ve done other stuff,” I remark, exasperated.
“Underage drinking is a given with us. I think you get a pass.”
I stick my tongue out at her and we both dissolve into laughter. I’ve missed this. Spending time with someone who really gets me, and the life I’ve lived. Despite how it came about, I’m happy to be back here. “Hey, I just realized we’re missing one. Where’s Ruthie?”
“Out of town with her sister. She’s been scarce recently.”
“Are things that good with Skull, or that bad?” I ask.
“Still trying to figure that out. I think it’s that crazy. There’s a lot of back and forth, off and on with them. I think they’re both scared. She’s never been the type to do commitment until recently, and he’s…well, he’s Skull.”
I snicker. The playboy had never been much for repeats unless it was a club girl. “I was shocked when they took their fun to a semi-permanent level,” I admit.
“Yeah, I think they were too, and they’re still reeling. I wish they’d just get their shit together,” Blue adds.
“Pretty passionate about that,” I say.
“They’re good for each other and if they got their heads out of their asses, they might be able to go the distance. When they’re on the outs, its hell on everyone. And by everyone, I mean me. Shadows flips between being amused and irritated.” She rolls her eyes.
“I can imagine he would be. Shadow’s…got a way about him,” I say, trying to think of the polite way to say he’s damn scary.
Blue laughs. “You were one of the few who were never scared of him.”
“He was always nice to me because of you—”
“That’s not why.”
I laugh. “Keep telling yourself that. I remember calling this outcome a long time ago, Bluebell.”
“Blah, blah… I could say the same thing, but I hated his guts after he did you dirty. Switching gears has been hell on me, so I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like for you.”