"Della," she said as if needing to check and make sure it was me. We had the same hair, nose, and mouth. But her eyes were brown.
"Yes," I replied.
She fidgeted with her hands a moment, then covered her mouth with one hand. "Im sorry. I just . . . I dont know . . . " She dropped her hand and gave me a wobbly smile. "Ive thought about this day. Ive thought about it so many times and now Im actually standing here, looking at you. " She studied my face, taking in the features I already knew were hers. "You have Niles eyes. Hell like that. He always loved his eyes," she said with a smile. "Theyre his best feature. Im glad you got them. "
I knew I should say something but I didnt know what. I decided that it didnt matter if she liked me or approved of me. I wasnt here to gain her admiration. I wasnt perfect. I was damaged but I was a survivor. I had that to be proud of.
"I like my eyes," I finally said.
She let out a soft laugh. "Theyre beautiful eyes. I was always jealous of Niles eyes. I used to tell him they were too pretty to be wasted on a boy. "
It sounded as if she still kept in touch with my birth father. I wanted to know about that, too. "Should we sit down?" I asked, pulling out a chair.
Glenda nodded and sat back down. Her coffee cup sat forgotten. "Your friend, Braden, she didnt tell me much about you. She said that you should be the one to decide what I got to hear. I want to know it all, at least everything you feel comfortable telling me. What do you do? Are you in college?" She stopped and smiled at me. "Sorry, Ill let you talk. "
There was one thing I was sure of: Glenda wasnt going to push for my life story. It wasnt easy to tell, and I wasnt sure I wouldnt fade out while telling it to her. That was a part of me that I would keep to myself. If this woman remained in my life then maybe one day, but not today.
"Ive been traveling around. I wanted to see and experience new things for a while. Then I plan on going back to college. "
"That sounds like fun. Are you traveling alone?"
I thought of Tripp and realized I was going to have to send him on to South Carolina without me. I wasnt going there now. I had to decide what my next move would be. "I was traveling with a friend of mine. Hes going back to his home in South Carolina this week. Im not sure yet what Ill do next. "
"That sounds exciting," she said, watching me carefully. I knew she wanted me to delve deeper into my life but she didnt deserve that.
I didnt say anything else. I had nothing else to say really. Now that I had seen her and I knew this was my mother, I felt like I was finished here.
"I almost kept you. I wanted to. I loved Nile back then. He was the captain of the basketball team and everyone fell under his charm. But hed picked me. I was his girl and I worshipped the ground he walked on. When I found out I was pregnant I wanted to keep my baby. I wanted to marry Nile and I wanted a family. But I was sixteen. I knew nothing of love and heartache. I didnt know what paying the bills was like or how much babies cost. My mother worked as a nurse back then and my father was a construction worker. They made a modest living and we lived from paycheck to paycheck. I, of course, didnt understand any of that. I was wrapped up in the romance of it all. " She stopped and took a drink of her coffee. She was nervous telling me this but I realized I wanted to know why. Why had she given me up?
"Nile came from money. Lots of money. His mothers father was a congressman and his father was a surgeon. They had big plans for Nile. Being a teenage father wasnt on their list. I think he loved me back then. I really do. Ive always thought he did. He told me hed get some money and we would run away and raise our baby. We would get married when we turned eighteen. I was giddy with excitement. Until everything changed. " There was a sadness in her eyes. As if remembering this was hard for her. It had been twenty years ago. I couldnt imagine she still regretted it. Especially with the life she had now.
"Nile was offered a full-ride basketball scholarship to the University of Arizona. He decided to take it. He told me he wasnt ready to be a dad and he didnt think I was ready to be a mom. We were too young. We had no idea what we were doing. I knew he was repeating his parents words back to me. I was angry and hurt. He tried for a long time to talk to me and get me to forgive him but I was done with Nile. He had betrayed me. He had chosen a scholarship over me and our unborn child. As the months went by and my stomach grew bigger, he would go out of his way to help me at school and do things for me, like bringing me my lunch tray. I continued to ignore him. He wasnt standing by my decision to keep the baby. He wanted me to give it up. " Tears filled her eyes and she gave me a sad smile before wiping them away.
"As the days drew closer to your delivery date, my dad lost his job. My mom had been forced to sign us up for food stamps just so we could eat. They were fighting all the time and I knew it was because they were scared. Soon there would be another mouth to feed. A baby who would need diapers and formula and child care if I was going to finish school. I didnt want that for you. I didnt want you to live the life I had been living. I wasnt ready to be a mom and I wanted you to have more. I loved your father. You were a product of that love. It took me until I held you for the first time to realize I couldnt do this to you. I couldnt take you home to the life I could give you. It wasnt enough. " She paused and took a deep breath. "I kissed your fat little cheeks, then handed you to the nurse and told her I couldnt keep you. To find you a good home. "
I sat there and stared at Glenda. Her story made sense. Sixteen-year-olds werent ready to be parents. I felt sorry for her, and she had been young enough to believe that handing me over was a better option. Maybe if my adopted father and brother hadnt been killed, then it would have. My mother may not have snapped mentally if they had lived.
"Id like to meet your family," I finally said.
A grin broke across her face. "I would love that. Thank you, Della. "
Page 25
Woods
I walked over to the bar and took the glass of bourbon that Mitch, the clubs bartender, pushed my way. It was after-hours and I was expecting someone. Hed texted me an hour ago.
Just as I lifted the glass to my lips, Grant walked in the door and scanned the room until he found me at the bar. He had been out of town more than usual this year. It was summertime. He should have been in his condo, living it up in Rosemary.
"Give me one of those, Mitch," Grant said as he approached the bar, and leaned against it before looking at me. "Im back. Whats up?"
"Where have you been?" I asked.
His mouth was in a firm, set line before he gave in and let out a sigh. "You dont want to know," he said, then took a long swig of the bourbon.
That meant hed been with Nan. There was a story there I wasnt sure I wanted to know. Grant was Rushs best friend. They were like brothers. Rushs mom had been married to Grants dad when they were kids. The marriage only lasted a few years but they bonded. What no one expected was for Grant and Nan, Rushs half sister, to do anything more than fight. They fought when they were kids and they fought now. Grant was a good guy. Nan was the worlds second-biggest bitch. Angelina was the first.
"Nan," I said simply.
Grant took another swig and handed the glass back to Mitch. "Another," he replied.
"Thats twenty-three-year-old Kentucky bourbon. Its meant to be sipped and enjoyed, not thrown back like a shot of cheap tequila," I pointed out.
"Youre an elitist, Woods. Kiss my ass. I need more alcohol. "
"Anyone who spends five minutes with Nan needs alcohol. The question is, why the hell do you do it?"
Grant threw back his second glass of bourbon and then looked over at me. "Not talking about her tonight. Why did you call me? What is going on?"
Good. I didnt really want to know about Nan anyway. If she came back to town, Rush was gonna be pissed. He loved his sister, but she hated his wife. So Nan had drawn a line and Rush had stayed on Blaires side. Nans coming back to Rosemary wouldnt be cool. Id hoped she was staying in LA with her daddy. Shed
recently found out the man she had grown up thinking was her father was not. Her real father was the lead singer of Slacker Demon. Apparently, Rushs momma liked sleeping with the band back in the day.
"I fired the board. Im choosing my own. My fathers board isnt for me. I want you on my new one. "
Grant set down his glass and stared at me a minute. "What did you just say?"
"The club has a board of directors. The old one has been let go. Will you be on my new board?"
Grant motioned for Mitch to refill his glass. "Damn, Im glad Im back. Crazy shit happens here all the time. No place is as drama-ridden as Rosemary. Not even fucking LA. "
"Does this mean yes, you will be on my board?" I asked, taking a sip of my bourbon.
Grant grinned over at me. "Hell yeah, I will. "
I knew he would. That made four. I still needed to talk to a few more. "I have paperwork in my office for you to fill out. But tonight, lets drink. I need a distraction. "
Grant pulled out a stool and sat down. "Wheres Della?"
I had been expecting this question but hearing her name jolted me. She had met with her birth mother today. Braden was supposed to call me tonight and let me know how it went. I was anxious and needed to think about something else until I got that call.
"She left. " I couldnt bring myself to explain anything else.
"She left? What the fuck did you do?"
"Screwed up. Missed some signs I should have noticed. Got too busy to see what she needed. Smothered her. " There was a long list of things I had realized I was guilty of.
"Damn. Last I saw you two, you were worshipping at her altar. How the hell did it go south so fast?"
"Its not over. Im waiting. Shell come back. Im letting her decide if she can do this. In the meantime, Im drinking a lot and living for phone calls from Tripp. "
Grant put his glass down and let out a low whistle. "Ah, hell no. She left with Tripp?"
I just managed a nod.