"Did you have a conversation in the stairwell with your friend Jace that day?"
The stairwell? I sat down in my chair and thought back to before Della ripped my world away. I had talked to Jace that day. About my mom. "Yeah, I did. "
"And . . . "
I wasnt sure what she wanted me to say. "And what?"
Braden let out a loud sigh. "What did you and Jace talk about?"
Hell, I couldnt remember. My mother was stressing me out. I was planning on installing the new board. I was going to let Della come back to work and stop smothering her. Nothing that shouldve upset her. "I cant think of one thing I said that would have made her leave me. "
"So Jace never told you that you had to stop dealing with her crazy ass? And you didnt say that it was affecting your work and it was easier to work with Angelina? And Jace didnt say that you had to get rid of the batshit crazy because you had a corporation to run?"
I shot up out of my chair. "What?" I roared.
"I didnt think so. Didnt sound like you at all. If someone had called Della batshit crazy you would have beat their ass. Della, however, felt sorry for you for having to put up with her and thought it was in your best interest if she left. "
"Holy hell! I swear to God I never said that. Jace never said that. I wouldve killed him. We were talking about . . . we were talking . . . oh, motherfucker. " I knew what shed heard. She hadnt heard everything. Shed just heard enough.
"Please tell me you didnt just have an epiphany and this conversation did actually happen," Braden said, warning me.
"No. Of course not. I mean, it did but we werent talking about Della. God! Never Della. We were talking about my mother. She had just caused problems for me at the club and I was talking to Jace about how to deal with her. I . . . fuck! I cant believe she thought we were talking about her. Im coming to get her. I cant do this anymore. I have to explain this to her. She has to know. "
"No! Shut it, Kerrington. I told you at the beginning of this conversation that you would do just as I said. Im not done talking to you and telling you everything you need to hear. So calm down and put your damn keys away. When its time for you to come get her, Ill let you know, but this time I think its real important that she come back to Rosemary on her own. She ran. She needs to find her way back. The cavalry can stay put and be patient. "
"I have to see her, Braden!"
"Would you shut up and listen to me? I have information for Della that she needs to deal with first. She thinks shes going to be mentally ill because her mother and grandmother were. She thinks that staying with you means you cant have kids because their mother could snap at any time and go insane. She loves you more than she loves herself. So shes making sure you dont suffer that ridiculous fate shes convinced youll have with her. "
"We wont have kids. I just want her. If shes scared of that, fine. We wont have kids. I have to tell her I just want her. "
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you do. Shut up, Im not done," Braden snapped into the phone. I fisted my hand around my truck keys and moved to stare down at my truck parked outside. I could get to her in five hours.
"Della was adopted. "
So many emotions ran through me at once, I wasnt sure if I was going to weep or cheer or fall to my knees and take deep, even breaths. Holy fuck. This was a game changer.
"She was adopted?" I managed to choke out.
"Yep. She was adopted. Her adoptive parents were scared to have kids because they were afraid that Dellas grandmothers mental illness was genetic. So they adopted a boy from the foster system. He was two when they adopted him. Then a couple years later they adopted a baby girl from a teenager who wasnt ready to be a mother yet. You know the rest. "
She was adopted. Her fear of being mentally ill like her mother was unfounded. "Does she know?"
"I told her today. She knows. Ive set up a meeting with her birth mother. Shes a kindergarten teacher. Shes married and has a ten-year-old son and an eight-year-old daughter. They live in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Her name is Glenda Morgan and she wants to meet Della. She said she tried looking for her after her son was born. She realized what she had given up and she wanted to make sure she was okay. But the file was closed and it cost money she didnt have to get an investigator. Her husband had agreed that with their income tax refund this year they would find her daughter instead of taking a family vacation. So when the investigator I hired found her she was as thrilled as I was. "
I wanted to like this woman, but knowing that her decision to give Della up had been the reason for the hell Della had lived through made it hard for me to forgive her. Where was the guy who knocked her up? Did he not care hed given up a child?
"What about her birth father?" I asked.
"Glenda has contacted him. His name is Nile Andrews. He lives in Phoenix, Arizona. Hes a dentist. Also married, with triplets. All girls. He wants to meet Della, too. His wife is being supportive of his decision. "
A kindergarten teacher and a dentist.
"Ive seen a photo of her birth mother. She looks like her. "
"Please let me come. I want to be with her through this. She needs me. "
"No, Woods. What she needs is to feel like shes strong. Like she can handle all of this on her own. She knows shes not going insane now. Thats big. Real big. Shes lived with that fear for so long. Its crippled her. She has to find her own strength now. And she needs to come back to you on her own. With the belief that she is strong and worthy of you. "
"Worthy of me? What the fuck does that mean? I belong to her. How can she not be worthy of me?"
"I know this and you know this but she has to figure this out on her own. She had shit for a life. I held her hand for years. Then she left me and within months she had you holding her hand. No one can hold her hand this time. "
"I dont want her to be alone. "
"This isnt about what you want, Woods. Its about what Della needs. "
I pressed my forehead against the window and closed my eyes. I didnt want her to be right. I didnt want to wait for Della. But this wasnt about my wants. Della loved me more than herself. She loved me enough to walk away because she thought it was best for me. It was time I proved I loved her more than I loved myself.
"Okay. But please, keep me updated. "
Braden let out a relieved sigh. "I knew youd do the right thing. Just so you know, I think youre worthy of her, and thats a high bar to reach. You promised to walk on water and I happen to believe Della already does. "
Page 24
Della
Her name was Glenda. When shed given birth to me it had been Glenda James. She married when she was twenty-two. I would have been six years old that year. She married a man she met her freshman year of college. They had fallen instantly in love. They had kids. Two of them. Today I would be meeting her. And if all went well I would be meeting her family.
I was in a surreal moment. One I couldnt seem to snap out of. The mentally ill woman who raised me wasnt my biological mother. I wasnt going to become her. The woman who gave birth to me was a teacher. She was a mom and wife.
And my brother. He had been adopted, too. I didnt remember him but hed been such a big part of my life. My mother had snapped after losing him and my father . . . or her husband. He wasnt my birth father and he had barely been my adoptive father before he was killed. There was so much my mother had told me that couldnt be true. She had sai
d she was nursing me and led me to believe she had gotten depressed after my birth. But she hadnt been pregnant. She hadnt given birth to me. None of that was true. I didnt know what was true anymore.
"What are you thinking?" Braden asked as she drove down the busy streets of Atlanta. Glenda was driving down with her family to Atlanta. We were meeting at a coffee shop that Braden knew about. I wasnt sure I could eat a meal with this woman yet. I also wasnt sure what to ask or say to her. There was so much I wanted to know but then so much I didnt.
"She doesnt know about anything. I didnt tell her. I found her but I didnt feel like it was my story to share. "
I wasnt sure I would be telling her about my life either. "What if I dont know what to say once I see her?"
"Then dont say anything. Do what you feel comfortable with. If today all youre ready for is hello, then thats what we will do. When you want more well make arrangements to meet with her again. "
Braden always made everything sound so easy. This woman had put her family in a car and had driven down to Atlanta to meet me. I had to say more than hello. "You wont go in with me?" I asked again. Braden had informed me that I had to do this on my own. It was my chance to prove to myself I was strong. That I was brave and that I didnt need someone to hold my hand. Though right now I was thinking I needed someone to hold my hand. I was terrified.
"Dont do this to me. I want to go with you. I hate the idea of you going by yourself, but this is for you, Della. This is for you. "
She was right. Braden was always right. I nodded. "I know. Thank you. "
I watched as she pulled the car into a parking spot in front of a quaint little coffee shop. There were tables outside and inside. The crowd wasnt big and I recognized the woman who had given birth to me from the photo Braden had shown me, sitting at the table in the courtyard to the left of the building. She had a cup of coffee in her hand and she was twirling it around nervously. This was scary for her, too, I guess. But she was brave. She was here alone.
"There she is," Braden said, pointing toward Glenda.
"I see her," I replied, and reached for the door handle.
"You can do this. "
I glanced back at Braden and smiled for the first time in weeks. "I know. "
Her eyes locked with mine the moment I stepped out of the car. I watched as she stood and looked at me. I made my way over to her table, still unsure as to what I would say to this woman. She had given me life but she was a stranger.