It could be okay. I mean, you had claiming sex with him in the dream. Maybe the crying was just…something else? Do not freak out. You know these things don’t always happen. Hell, they hardly ever happen. Remember the time you had that dream about your mama, and you thought she was going to die, but it turned out she'd fainted because dad said he didn’t like her hair?
I snorted, recalling the panic of that moment and how weird people thought I was.
“That was funny. Mama nearly had a heart attack when I ran into town wearing my nightclothes.” I chortled, slinging the bed covers back because there was no way I was sleeping now.
Tidying the room quickly, I boiled some water in the microwave and made myself a cup of instant coffee. Grimacing, I wished it wasn’t Saturday. If it hadn’t been, I could’ve gone to work, drank Caleb’s expensive coffee, and kept busy until this weird feeling went away.
It’s all going to be okay.
“You say that now, but this has happened too much already. You don’t think…?” I whispered, flinching when my wolf chuffed again, and the other part of me stayed silent.
Shit. Not answering meant they agreed with what I was thinking, and dammit, that scared me. Shifters were already different. We appeared human but had extra senses and the ability to change into our animals. Most people wouldn’t know this, but for us, our animals weren’t just…us or a part of us. It was like having a different, separate being inside your head that controlled you when you least expected it. Most shifters grew up learning to control the animal side of themselves, and it usually worked well enough that we developed a symbiotic bond with our animal.
But we also had rare cases within our species, and that was starting to scare me because if I was right, I wasn’t just weird. I was different.
“I don’t have it. I can’t really be dreaming about the future. It’s a talent very few shifters have. Hell, it’s too rare, and there is no way someone like me would be unlucky enough to have a shifter talent. Mom and dad don’t have any talents.” I muttered.
Yeah, but you know Grammy used to tell you stories about her grandmother. She was what shifter-kind called a Dreamer, and she didn’t just dream things, Ren. She could hear people’s thoughts.
“I can’t hear people’s thoughts. I don’t want to hear that!”
I’m not saying you will, but I am saying that you have an ability that most shifters don’t. Face it, honey, you have it. You could have the Dreaming. Sometimes you dream or see things you shouldn’t.
“You think what I just dreamed…”
Is real? I don’t know, but if it is, I’d say you need to be careful. Seeing Caleb claim you…I adore Caleb, I really do, and having hot sex with him outside of the usual fantasies sounds wonderful.
“But?”
But we’re not looking for heartbreak, Renny. A dream about being claimed by that male could lead to something terrible.
You say that as if being claimed by a guy like Caleb is a bad thing. He’s a good man.
I’m fine with being friends but claiming means mating, Ren. Can you honestly tell me that you see Caleb Chase being happy with getting mated? The man acts like he’s going to have a stroke if you so much as smile at him too often. Face it, honey, getting involved with Caleb Chase may not be a good idea—shut up wolf! We all know what you want, and dammit, it isn’t going to happen. Caleb doesn’t do mating, so just calm down.
So what are you saying, because if I remember correctly, you want to be with him?
I’m saying…wanting and doing are two different things, Ren. It’s possible that giving in to the wanting may not be smart.
I snorted again as my wolf piped up and started arguing with my inner voice, and I sipped my coffee while listening to my wolf snarl while the other one lectured her to death. I was so amused by it that I managed to go a full five minutes without thinking about Caleb. Which was great because it allowed me to think about everything I’d learned since we’d become friends.
The man wasn’t exactly chatty, but we’d formed an easy truce of sorts. We talked. Okay, I did most of the talking, but he had given me glimpses of who he was. Caleb was an ex-Enforcer and had two animals, which was super rare and made him stronger than even the Alpha. He was also broken, emotionally and mentally, and had convinced himself that keeping his wolf weak was his only option and, most importantly, he wouldn’t ever get mated again.
He’d made that clear and even gone so far as to warn me that if Walker had planted me in his home hoping for something like that, it was never going to happen.
“Well, that is that, then.” I sighed, finishing off my coffee.
Is it though?
“Yeah, it really is. Look, I get it. I’m attracted to him. Who wouldn’t be? The man is sexy, decent, and so incredibly male it makes my insides melt. I like him. Besides being talented, he’s also really nice under all that gruffness.”
And that’s bad, how?
“It isn’t. You didn’t let me finish. He’s also been hurt badly, and while I understand that, I can in no way compare what I went through to what Caleb did.”
Babe, you lost so much more than you’re willing to admit to yourself.
“I don’t want to talk about that. This isn’t about me; it’s about Caleb. He isn’t wrong to be cautious of mating again, and I can’t blame him. I was heartbroken when I realized what Shane was, but Caleb lost a part of himself. I don’t think he’ll ever be open to more and the truth is, I can’t blame him. I also can’t live with that. I want sex, and I like him, yes, but I’m no doormat. The next time I allow myself to fall for a man, he has to want me the same way I want him, and he has to love me. I don’t think Caleb would ever let himself love anyone again, and he definitely won’t love me.” I told myself, hating that the thought made me want to cry.