Star took the document from him, her heart racing. What did Christian want to make legal? She thought everything had been verbally agreed. Was he going to back out of their current arrangement and go after custody of Skylar? He could certainly offer her more than she could.
“Stop your brain working!” Toby said. “Do you think I’d have drawn up anything to hurt you or Skylar?” Star took a deep breath, realising Toby was right. She’d have had the heads-up from Toby long ago if that were Christian’s plan. “Read it.”
Star dropped herself down into one of the chairs in the office. She realised the document she was holding was a financial agreement on Christian’s part to help raise Skylar, by offering Star monthly payments. Star also saw he had clearly included that it was without strings attached. He wasn’t asking for anything in return, only to help assist in easing the financial burden of raising a child alone. Not that Star had ever looked at Skylar as a burden. It was then Star saw the amount he was offering per month and her mouth fell open, her eyes flying to Toby’s.
“This is ridiculous,” Star spluttered. “He can’t mean to pay me this – this is outrageous.”
“I said the same,” Toby said with a laugh. “But he was determined that he wanted to do right by you and Skylar. He said you have managed brilliantly for the past six years, but he understands that it can’t have been easy, with studying, childcare, working part-time. He has the money, and he wants to ensure that his daughter and the woman who is raising her have the best they can have. He wants to make amends – he can’t change the past, but he can improve the future. He knows you want to move out and buy a place for the two of you – he wants to make that easier. I had my doubts about him in the beginning, but he seems like a genuinely nice guy.”
Star was speechless. Toby was no one’s fool. Christian had already signed the documents. Christian meant every word he had said to her over the past couple of weeks.
“I need to speak to him,” Star said. She wasn’t comfortable taking money from someone, whether it was Skylar’s dad or not.
“I told him you’d want to. Remember, he is Skylar’s dad – he’s not some stranger offering you money. He was the love of Lily’s life. Because you agreed to raise your sister’s daughter, he now has access to Skylar. If you’d given her up for adoption, she would have been lost to him forever. You’ve opened your home to him and let him in. Doing that is going to disrupt your life; sharing her is not always going to be easy. You love with all your heart, Star, and you give with such generosity, even to your own detriment. You didn’t blink when Lily asked you to adopt Skylar and raise her as your own, irrespective of what that meant for your own life and what you were sacrificing. Take this as karma if you will – one good turn deserves another.”
Star knew she could never have followed a different path; this was her destiny. Had probably always been her destiny. She’d speak to Christian and think on his more-than-generous offer. She could put the money aside for Skylar, set her up a college fund, something she wanted to do but didn’t have enough money currently to put to one side, not if she was to finally get them a place of their own to live. Christian’s financial assistance would move the timeline up; she might even be able to look at the house that had come up around the corner, which would mean Skylar’s routine would not be compromised. It was a fixer-upper, but she and Skylar would have some fun choosing colours for the walls and a new kitchen. It would be their home.
“Okay, but I still want to talk to him,” Star conceded.
“Good and, Star, you need to talk to Damian, too.”
The elephant that had sat in the house all day had finally entered the room.
“No,” Star said getting up and heading to the door.
“I think your breakdown earlier tells me something different,” Toby said, following her.
“Stay out of it, Toby,” Star said. “I can’t play games with him anymore. I can’t deal with the emotional swings.”
“I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to talk to him. I mean, really talk to him. Don’t throw away what you have, not for a second time without knowing for definite that you are making the right decision. I love you, Star, but you’ve made some poor choices where Damian is concerned. That man has strong feelings for you, but you keep pushing him away. You have surrounded yourself with so many barriers. Maybe you need to drop the drawbridge and talk to each other. Find out what you both want and if you can make it work.”
“It can’t work.” Star sighed. “He is in the States and I’m here. Now Christian is in Skylar’s life, I can’t move her across the world – that wouldn’t be fair to anyone. So there is no point in extending the hurt.”
Toby ran his fingers through his hair letting out an exasperated sigh, but remained silent.
Chapter Nineteen
Star came downstairs to the sound of raised voices.
“No, I’m not going to stay out of it, she’s my best friend and she’s sabotaging her own happiness,” Laura was standing, arms folded, facing her husband, as Star entered the kitchen, her back resting against the sideboard, her now very visible bump jutting out in front of her.
“Say what you want to say,” Star said, looking her friend directly in the eye.
Laura huffed. “Do I actually need to? Damian came here yesterday to talk, and you threw him out. For seven years, you’ve pined for that man, lived half a life. The past few months, you’ve come alive, blossomed back into the person you were before. You love him, but why are you so afraid to let him love you back?”
“Have you forgotten that he’s the one who left?” Star said calmly.
“No, but he came back! Star, you are far from innocent in all this. He’s only ever asked you to be honest with him and you keep hiding yourself from him. Please talk to him,” Laura said.
“Okay, I’ll talk to him,” Star said. “But I’m not promising anything, but I’ll try and see if he’ll speak to me.”
Laura threw her arms around her best friend and pulled her in tight, so much so a gentle nudge was felt between them. Junior had decided tight hugs were cramping their style. Both laughed as Star placed her hand on her friend’s stomach, soothing the little foot that was now playing football against her skin. “Okay, little one, I’ll speak to Damian.”
Toby and Laura grinned at each other.
Star laughed at her friends; they had everything all planned out. She didn’t want to burst their bubble – she’d let them think they’d won the battle. Not that she’d spent a large part of the night tossing and turning. She knew she had overreacted at his sudden reappearance. She had to make things right, whatever that meant.
A quick message to Mary had let her know Damian was at the Manor and not in London. Mary had called her, and invited them both over for a late breakfast. Skylar was already dressed, excited to be seeing Damian, and hoping to get one last play with the puppies before they left for their new homes.