“It’s not nothing, Damian. I thought we’d decided to be honest with each other.”
Damian laughed, but the sound was hollow. “Honest. That’s the problem. No one was honest with me. I’m beginning to realise I was excluded from the biggest secret. A secret that impacted me. Everyone I cared about made a decision, not allowing me to make up my own mind about what was best for me.”
A heaviness weighed on Star’s chest. She knew he was right. If the boot were on the other foot, she’d have been annoyed. Control was something she’d always valued and her lack of it had made it difficult to think or see straight after Lily’s diagnosis. But nothing she could say now would make it any different. “I can only say I’m sorry. I’m hoping one day I can make it up to you.”
The screen rocked as Damian rubbed a hand over his face. “I’ve just got things to work through. What I thought was true isn’t, and I’ve got to get my head back in the game. But, Star, I want us to try. We can work through this. But we need to build trust again. It’s not just with you; it’s also with my parents.”
“No, Damian, don’t blame your parents—”
“Don’t cover for him, Star. He admitted to me the part he played, and it was underhand. He coerced us both, and if he weren’t so ill, I’d be giving him a piece of my mind. He played me, for his own gratification, and he used you to facilitate it all.”
“Please don’t be cross with him, Damian. He wanted the best for you. We both did.”
“No, Star, what my father omitted to tell you was that I’d already told him I didn’t want to go to the US office, and that I intended to work my way up here. He manipulated you into manipulating me. Tell me you would have sent me away if my father hadn’t suggested it.”
Star wiped her cheek, surprised at the dampness that was there. She couldn’t lie to Damian anymore. The lies and games were over. “No, I wouldn’t have sent you away.” Tears were now streaming down her face, and Damian reached his hand towards the screen, as if wanting to reach through and remove Star’s pain. “I was desperate for you to be there with me. All I ever wanted was your arms around me, telling me everything was going to be all right.”
They sat in silence for several minutes as Star’s words sank in. It was the first time she’d admitted this to herself, let alone said it out loud. She knew she was throwing Lucas under the bus, but their relationship would survive. Lucas had been the instigator. He’d told Star that Damian had been enthusiastic about his move to America. That this would hamper his development, that she’d hold him back. She’d been in such shock that she’d gone along with it. Especially when Lucas had arranged for Lily to see some of the top cancer specialists in London. How could she have denied him his – and what she thought was Damian’s – wish. Now she could see more clearly. She didn’t hate Lucas; she couldn’t. She knew how ruthless he was in business – why wouldn’t he be even more so where his family was concerned. Lucas had been protecting Damian, like he had protected her later when she had been left with a new born. He’d helped and shielded her, enabled her to finish her degree, had given her a job, had even paid for childcare. She was beginning to wonder if it had been done to assuage his own guilt.
“Don’t be too hard on him,” Star said, finally. “He did what he thought was for the best. Nothing can change the past. I would love for us to simply move forwards.”
“Me too. I wish I were there with you now,” Damian said.
“I do, too. This weekend has been amazing,” Star said smiling.
They talked about everything and nothing for the next hour, sharing insights into the life they had shut each other out of. Star ribbed Damian about his magazine covers and being deemed one of the most “eligible bachelors” in New York, although deep down the thought made her wonder what he was doing talking to her when there was a stream of models and actresses waiting to be seen on his arm. Damian had laughed, telling her it was something the magazines over there loved to do with the young, single, wealthy men. It meant very little. Star couldn’t help with the feeling of unease. This was too good to be true.
All her deepest wants and dreams had come true this weekend, but she couldn’t shake the sense of foreboding that sat heavily on her chest. After they finally said goodnight, Star lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how long her fairy tale was going to last.
Chapter Thirteen
Tuesday morning came about in a flash. Skylar had been enthusiastic about going to school, asking if she could take her new book to show her teacher.
Star had made it into the office before the rest of the team, giving herself time to plan out her day and the coming week. The project was on schedule; the client was happy. It was just the loose ends that needed tying up. With her current team, she had no fears – they were all invested and hard-working, which meant she could ease off the pedal just a little bit and start reviewing some of the new business that was coming into the firm. She’d already discussed with Damian that they would keep their distance in the office. She’d had one bad experience with Jackson, which fortunately Damian had witnessed, and she didn’t want anyone else questioning her professionalism or whether Jackson’s gossip had teeth. As it stood, she was keeping her private life just that – off limits to the office gossips.
When Damian returned to the US office, Star didn’t want any kick back of any kind. She already knew it would be hard enough to say goodbye.
It was mid-morning when Pam rang down.
“Greeting stranger,” she said. “I’ve pinged you a meeting request but you haven’t picked it up. Damian is chasing.”
“Hi Pam, I’ve been working away from my desk. Let me take a look,” Star said, butterflies raging through her stomach. “Yes, that’s fine. I’ve accepted.”
“Excellent, I’ll let him know,” Pam said ending the call.
Star looked around, hoping that none of the team noticed the flush that had erupted all over her body. So much for staying away from each other. She seriously needed to get a grip of herself if they were going to have a relationship and work together. She couldn’t be swooning like someone out of a romance novel. What did Damian want? He hadn’t mentioned a meeting last night. What was going on?
Star made her way to Damian’s office, stopping at Pam’s desk.
Pam looked up, giving Star a quizzical look. “Are you okay? You look a little flushed. You’re not coming down with anything, are you?”
Star felt her colour rise further. Her palms were sweating, her panties damp at the mere thought of seeing Damian face to face after the weekend. “I’m fine,” she coughed, then tried to divert the conversation onto safer ground. “Do you know what this meeting is about?”
“New client, I think,” Pam said. “Are you sure you’re not getting sick?”
Just then, Damian’s door opened. Star didn’t dare look at him as he ushered her into the room, sure that Pam would see the sparks flying should their eyes meet. Damian closed the door firmly behind her before pulling her towards him. Star melted into his body, his mouth descending on hers with a passion that took her breath away. When they finally broke apart, they were breathless, their bodies still touching.
“Sorry,” Damian said with a cheeky grin. “That wasn’t why I asked you to come up.”