Suddenly, she heard the rattle of a cart heading through the front gates. She sat up higher, peering out into the night. It was far too late for a delivery and no one would be calling at this hour. Who could it be?
Evelina watched the cart pull up to the side of the house. One of the gardeners was driving it, the giant man with the red beard. There were a few people sitting in the back of it, all dressed up in their good clothes. Abruptly, she recalled that the Charingworth Christmas dance had been held tonight in the village hall. They had probably been to the dance and were returning now it was finished.
She watched them climb down from the cart. There were three women and two men in the back. Her heart flipped in her chest as she realised that one of those men was Jude.
She watched, her heart pounding, as he jumped off the cart, before turning to assist one of the women. Then she realised that the woman was the maid who she had seen embracing him. She hadn’t recognised her at first without her uniform.
Evelina’s heart twisted. The maid looked very different this evening. She was wearing a flowing green gown which accentuated her large bosom and small waist. The maid’s reddish gold hair was loose, too, cascading in tight curls down her back. Evelina realised the woman was quite attractive. In fact, she wasveryattractive.
Her heart tightened further as she watched Jude’s hand linger on the woman’s waist. The maid gazed up at him, smiling flirtatiously. And then she placed a kiss on his cheek. A lingering kiss. Jude smiled down at her before the entire party headed towards the servant’s quarters at the back of the house.
Evelina slumped in the alcove. Her heart was hammering now. She felt a little sick. Surely she hadn’t mistaken the intimacy between them? The way they had smiled at each other? The lingering kiss upon his cheek?
She took deep gulps of air. Jude had told her that the maid had embracedhim, not the other way around, when she had first seen them together. He had told her he wasn’t interested in the maid at all. And yet, it seemed like theywerefamiliar with each other. As if they were more than just friends.
Evelina put her hands on her head, squeezing her eyes shut. She knew she was being ridiculous. This jealousy was ludicrous. Apart from the fact that the two of them could never be together, he was free to court or kiss anyone he liked. She couldn’t stop it happening, and she wasn’t so mean spirited she would wish he lived alone forever while she was married to Mr. Beaumont.
She knew all that. Her rational mind was still working. But she couldn’tfeelit. Her heart was sore at even the thought of him touching or kissing another woman. It made her feel sick. And the worst of it was, there was nothing she could do to stop feeling this way.
Evelina walked slowly back to her bed, climbing into it, pulling the covers up high. She wished she could sleep. She wished she could forget all about Jude and the beautiful flame haired woman in the green dress who had kissed him on the cheek. But she couldn’t forget. All she could do was suffer like this, burning with jealousy, wishing it had been her in that cart returning from the dance with him rather than the maid.
A single tear slid down her cheek. How she wished things were different. How she wished the world was a different place. Why must there be all these petty regulations about the classes mingling? Why must it be taboo that a man as good as Jude wasn’t allowed to touch her when she was being given to Mr. Beaumont, a man with poor character?
Her heart twisted anew. It wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair.
Evelina sighed, turning to her side. It didn’t matter how unfair it was. It was the way the world worked. She needed to get used to the fact that Jude might court the flame haired beauty, and he needed to get used to the fact that she was now an engaged woman, even if it hadn’t been officially announced yet…
Suddenly, she sat up in the bed, her heart pounding. A thought had just occurred to her. Perhaps she could go along with this betrothal, but convince her father that she and Mr. Beaumont should have a long engagement?
Her heart surged at the thought. She knew it would only delay the inevitable, butanything could happen in that time. She might slowly convince her father that Mr. Beaumont wasn’t the right man for her. At the very least, it would buy her time, even if it was only time to adjust to the idea herself.
She felt a small stirring of hope for the first time in days. It might work. She had nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain. Even if she and Jude still could never be together.
***
Jude climbed into his bed. He yawned. He was tired, and yet still awake from the dance and the liquor he had consumed, which was still flowing through his blood.
Sally had seemed to accept his decision by the end of the night. She had been quite affable when they had said goodnight, even kissing him on the cheek. Buthe wasn’t sure whether that was an indication that she wasn’t prepared to give up on him yet. She might just have waited in the wings until he sorted out his feelings for the woman he was supposedly yearning for back in Shrewsbury.
He sighed, gazing up at the ceiling. It was always so hard to tell with Sally.
He sighed again. Now that he was alone, and the night was over, his thoughts inevitably returned to Evelina. It was like this every night, no matter how successfully he had pushed those thoughts aside during the day. It was like they were waiting for him, lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce at the very first opportunity.
His eyes drooped. And suddenly, she was there, stepping out of the shadows and into the light.
He was walking down a long hallway. He knew he was inside Bosworth Manor, even though he had never stepped inside the main part of the house and didn’t know what it looked like.
The hallway seemed to never end. It was so long that he couldn’t even see what was at the end of it. He passed many doors that remained firmly closed. Silence enshrouded him like a blanket. He had no idea how he came to be walking down the hallway. He had no idea who had let him into the house, nor was he aware of the fact that he had no place within it.
He only knew that he must find her. Evelina.
He tried many door handles, one after the other, on the left of the hallway and to the right of it. But they were all locked and wouldn’t yield to his touch. A crushing sense of disappointment consumed him.
He was running now. Desperate. He knew nothing else mattered but finding her.
Suddenly, one of the door handles opened. Hesitantly, he stepped into the room. He knew instinctively that she would be within. And then he saw her, standing next to an open window. White curtains billowed around her. She had her back to him, staring out the window, wearing a long white gown. Her raven hair was loose, falling down her back, like a curtain of black silk.
Evelina.