I should be better than this, stronger than this.
But I’m just… I'm broken.
And as much as I want to see the positives in this situation. I'm struggling.
Shoving my feet into my Vans, I swing my purse over my shoulder and scoop up the couple of books on my desk for the two classes I have today.
My heart drops when I step out into the communal kitchen and find a slim blonde-haired girl hunched over a mug and a textbook.
The scent of coffee fills my nose and my mouth waters.
My shoes squeak against the floor and she immediately looks up.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to disrupt you."
"Are you kidding?" she says excitedly, her southern accent making a smile twitch at my lips.
Her smile lights up her pretty face and for some reason, something settles inside me.
I knew hiding was wrong. It's just been my coping method for… quite a while.
"We wondered when our new roommate was going to show her face. The guys have been having bets on you being an alien or something."
A laugh falls from my lips. "No, no alien. Just…" I sigh, not really knowing what to say.
"You transferred in, right? From Columbia?"
"Ugh… yeah. How'd you know—"
"Girl, I know everything." She winks at me, but it doesn't make me feel any better. "West and Brax are on the team, they spent the summer with your brother."
A rush of air passes my lips in relief. Although I'm not overly thrilled that my brother has been gossiping about me.
"So, what classes do you have today?" she asks when I stand there gaping at her.
"Umm… American lit and psychology."
"I've got psych later too. Professor Collins?"
"Uh…" I drag my schedule from my purse and stare down at it. "Y-yes."
"Awesome. We can sit together."
"S-sure," I stutter, sounding unsure, but the smile I give her is totally genuine. "I'm Letty, by the way." Although I'm pretty sure she already knows that.
"Ella."
"Okay, I'll… uh… see you later."
"Sure. Have a great morning."
She smiles at me and I wonder why I was so scared to come out and meet my new roommates.
I'd wanted Mom to organize an apartment for me so that I could be alone, but—probably wisely—she refused. She knew that I'd use it to hide in and the point of me restarting college is to try to put everything behind me and start fresh.
After swiping an apple from the bowl in the middle of the table, I hug my books tighter to my chest and head out, ready to embark on my new life.
The morning sun burns my eyes and the scent of freshly cut grass fills my nose as I step out of our building. The summer heat hits my skin, and it makes everything feel that little bit better.