This wasn't part of my plan.
I let out a sigh, squeezing my eyes tight, willing the tears away.
I've cried enough. I thought I'd have run out by now.
A commotion on the other side of the door has me looking up in a panic, but just like yesterday, no one comes knocking.
I think I proved that I don't want to hang with my new roommates the first time someone knocked and asked if I wanted to go for breakfast with them.
I don't.
I don't even want to be here.
I just want to hide.
And that thought makes it all a million times worse.
I'm not a hider. I'm a fighter. I'm a fucking Hunter.
But this is what I've been reduced to.
This pathetic, weak mess.
And all because ofhim.
He shouldn't have this power over me. But even now, he does.
The dorm falls silent once again, and I pray that they've all headed off for their first class of the semester so I can slip out unnoticed.
I know it's ridiculous. I know I should just go out there with my head held high and dig up the confidence I know I do possess.
But I can't.
I figure that I'll just get through today—my first day—and everything will be alright.
I can somewhat pick up where I left off, almost as if the last eighteen months never happened.
Wishful thinking.
I glance down at the hoodie in my hands once more.
Mom bought them for Zayn, my younger brother, and me.
The navy fabric is soft between my fingers, but the text staring back at me doesn't feel right.
Maddison Kings University.
A knot twists my stomach and I swear my whole body sags with my new reality.
I was at my dream school. I beat the odds and I got into Columbia. And everything was good. No, everything was fucking fantastic.
Until it wasn't.
Now here I am. Sitting in a dorm at what was always my backup plan school having to start over.
Throwing the hoodie onto my bed, I angrily push to my feet.
I'm fed up with myself.