Delfai’s fingers stilled around his throat. “It may be cause for celebration.” His hand dropped to his lap. “Perhaps there is a silver beast and a brightest moon. Two. Not one,” he rambled. “Two then one.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?” Ash demanded.
“Nothing.” He smiled widely, revealing blood-streaked teeth. “Nothing but hope.”
There was a good chance that Ash had done some damage to Delfai’s mind because what he’d prattled on about made no sense. Silver beast? Brightest moon? It reminded me of the title Ash had given me, but I really didn’t know why he’d be rambling about that—and it honestly didn’t matter.
Neither of us spoke as we left Cauldra Manor, passing guards who hastily bowed but kept a healthy distance. I’d wanted to say goodbye to Kayleigh but knew it wouldn’t be wise for us to linger.
Not when violent, frenetic eather still leaked into the air around Ash.
And I didn’t think I had it in me to hold an appropriate conversation. My mind was too focused on what was to come.
What could no longer be denied.
It was the strangest damn thing as we made our way down the rocky hill, feeling the sun’s warmth on my face. The devastation of all the what-ifs that would not happen. The knowledge that the end was truly coming this time. And the utter collapse of hope.
It was all rather…freeing.
A calmness settled over me.
The ever-present pressure on my chest was still there, but itdidn’t squeeze as tightly as it had. And maybe it was because I’d always expected to die. Maybe it was because the soul inside me had also lived through many deaths.
After all, death had been my constant companion, an old friend that I always knew, deep down, would visit one day.
I looked at Ash. He stared straight ahead, the muscle in his jaw ticking with each step. We’d just reached the pines when I said, “Stop.”
“We need to return to the Shadowlands,” he bit out.
“We need to talk.”
“I need to think.”
The breath I took was shaky as I followed him into the thick stand of pines. “You have to do it.”
Ash halted. “There is nothing Ihaveto do.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.” I stopped a few feet from him, understanding dawning. “You…you knew how to remove the embers from me this whole time, didn’t you?”
His shoulders went rigid.
“Gods,” I whispered hoarsely. Because I knew—I knew—I was right.
“I didn’t know for sure. It’s not like there has ever been another like you—a mortal with Primal embers in them.” His head bowed. “But I figured that draining you completely was a possibility.”
He could’ve done that at any time. Taken the embers from me. He could’ve Ascended. Stopped Kolis. StoppedVeses. But he hadn’t.
Because he knew that it would kill me.
I let my head fall back as I dragged in deep, stinging breaths.
“But I knew that wasn’t how Kolis took the embers,” Ash gritted out. “I knew there had been another way.”
But there wasn’t.
Blinking the dampness from my eyes, I lowered my head. “We came here to learn how to transfer the embers, and now we know.”
He said nothing, but the air thinned and chilled. A few needles fell from the pines’ branches, drifting to the ground.