But I was fine.
Empty. Blank.
Which was perfect. I had plans. Something I’d decided in the midst of my marathon pacing session during the night. I needed to discuss traveling to Irelone, and I would do so with the utmost maturity and detachment.
If I could handle my mother, I could handle Nyktos.
The embers in my chest vibrated as we reached the first-floor hall, but I hesitated in the shadowy alcove. The doors were ajar. Before, I wouldn’t have thought twice about walking straight in. Aware that Orphine was watching me, I raised a hand to knock. Something Bele had said intruded in that moment. If Nyktos didn’t want people to talk, then he would make sure no one found anything to discuss, right? But I really—
“You can come in,” Nyktos’s voice rang out from within the office.
I froze, my hand suspended in the air.
“Whenever you’re ready,” Nyktos added after a moment.
Lowering my hand, I ignored the way Orphine stared at me and briefly closed my eyes, silently mouthing a string of curses. Then I opened the door.
Rhain stood to Nyktos’s right, andhesat behind his desk, closing one of the Books of the Dead. His hair was swept back, and I thought…he looked paler around the corners of his eyes and his mouth. There were also shadows beneath his eyes as his muted gaze swept over my thick braid, vest, and tailored leggings like thick tights. That was all I let myself notice as I walked forward, but something I shouldn’t be feeling blossomed at the sight of the paleness and those shadows. Concern.
“I’ve never known you to knock.” Nyktos’s gaze rose to mine, and the glow of eather pulsed faintly behind his pupils.
“I didn’t want to interrupt,” I explained.
Rhain stared at me.
“That is also not something I’ve seen you worry about in the past.” Nyktos leaned back in his chair. He wore a dark gray tunic, though one without the silver brocade.
“Well, I’ve learned to knock,” I replied.
The corners of his mouth tightened.
I clasped my hands together, reminding myself to breathe deeply, slowly, and not to, as Rhain had so succinctly put it, lose my shit. “I hoped I could have a moment of your time.” I peeked at Rhain. He continued staring at me as if he’d never seen me before. “If not, I can come back.”
“Are you feeling unwell?” Rhain blurted out.
“I feel quite fine,” I told him. “And I don’t know why everyone keeps asking me that.”
“Keeps?” Nyktos questioned.
“Orphine asked if I was fine about two dozen times,” Isaid, exaggerating.
“Probably because you’re being…” Rhain frowned. “Polite.”
My expression mirrored his. “I don’t know why that would make anyone think I’m unwell.”
“Have you met yourself?” Rhain countered.
Nyktos glanced at him, and the god sighed. “I’m heading out to the Rise.” He bowed, and then with one last curious look in my direction, he left us.
Alone.
Nyktos watched me as he remained reclined in his chair, one hand lifting to curl around his chin.
I sat on the edge of the seat before his desk. “I won’t take up much of your time—”
“You can have all the time you want, Seraphena.”
Seraphena.