Nyktos shook his head. “Sera—”
“It is I who is sorry.”
He jerked, his eyes widening. “For what?”
“For what you think you know,” I parroted his words. “I was foolish and naïve to believe you when you said there had been no one before me. I should’ve seen right through that the first time we were together. That is how you hurt my ego.”
His nostrils flared. “That wasn’t a lie.”
“I think it’s time foryouto stop lying.”
“I’ve wanted no one but you, Sera.”
I laughed, the sound cold as I refused to let his words sink in. Because I couldn’t trust him, and I couldn’t trust what I would do with those words.
“I know what you think you saw, Sera, but we were not having sex,” he said, his eyes flashing an intense silver as my gaze snapped to his. “If you think you saw that, you are wrong. I have absolutely nothing to gain by lying.”
I backed up but then stopped. I wasn’t sure what he had to gain by lying, nor was I sure whatIhad to gain by the smidgen of relief I felt. “Then what did I see?” I asked again because, as I’d already proven, I was a fool.
A muscle ticked along the curve of his jaw, and I let myself glance at his throat. There was no bite mark, but I could still see it in my mind. “What you saw is…it’s complicated.”
I inhaled deeply, confused and rapidly losing control of my hold on my anger. “Again, that’s all you have to say? Don’t even bother answering. I don’t care that you were with her. That’s not—” I stopped myself with another laugh.Stop lying.I stiffened, realizing there was no face to save. When I lost control under the palace, I’d laid myself bare. “You know what? Seeing you with her did hurt my feelings. I don’t know why. It shouldn’t have. You have made no promises to me. And I have asked none from you. This union between us was never something that either of us desired. We don’t need to discuss what you were orweren’t doing any further. I know what I saw. You’ve apologized. It is what it is.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means the deal we made? It’s over. The only thing between us now are these stupid embers. I want them gone, and thenIwant to be gone.”
He took a measured step toward me. “Gone fromwhatexactly?”
“From here,” I said. “From you.”
Hollows formed beneath his cheekbones. “You can’t be gone from me.”
I stiffened. “If you say that because I must become your Consort, I understand all the reasons why. But I will be that in name only. And once you remove the embers and Kolis is defeated, I want out of this. I want my freedom. That’s the deal I should’ve made with you.”
Eather churned in his eyes. “Is that the deal you’re asking for now?”
I lifted my chin, holding my arms tight against me to stop them from trembling. I had to, or that shaking would move into my chest. And I had to say what I did next because I couldn’t feel that hurt again. I couldn’t lose control. “Yes.”
Nyktos went completely still. “Then so be it,” he said, and the words felt like an oath.
A bond.
Unbreakable.
Chapter 32
“Are you sure you’re well?” Orphine asked, glancing at me as we walked toward the stairs the following morning.
This was the second time she’d asked, and both times she posed the question, I had been surprised. “I’m fine.”
Orphine said nothing to my response, but doubt settled into her features. She didn’t believe me.
I was tired and not in the greatest mood. I’d barely slept the night before, and I wasn’t sure if that had to do with being unconscious for three days or my conversation with Nyktos.
Or how I kept looking at the adjoining door, wondering why Nyktos suddenly no longer believed he needed to keep me within arm’s reach.
And hating myself a little for even wondering that.