Sometimes his words are just too much for me to the point where I can't reciprocate with words themselves and just need to kiss him. And that's exactly what I do. Our kiss is long and passionate. He slips a little bit of tongue in my mouth and I feel myself get wet.
Thank God for Serafina. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be able to walk, instead riding Tony’s fat cock on the hour every waking hour of the day. The man keeps me in a perpetual state of horniness that I just can’t seem to shake. Then again, why would I ever want to?
I get up and bring my baby girl to her crib.
"So now that we have everything that we've ever wanted, what do you fear most?” He cocks an eyebrow at me so I elaborate. “I like to do that sometimes with myself, to challenge myself to think about these things. It's not the things that we desire in our lives that we think about all the time. It's more than things that we fear. And if we can talk about those things, then they go away a little bit more each time we verbalize them, realizing there is nothing to fear after all. So…now that you have the woman that you love, the children that you love, and you no longer have to do unsavory things in a second job, what do you fear most?"
I watch Tony think about it. His introspective face is always cute. It's like no matter what he does in an emotional sense, it's always deep whether he's having sex with me or just thinking. He always has to go hard in that way, with that serious expression. I love seeing it, letting me know he’s putting everything he can into an answer, and that it will always be genuine, sincere, and true, whether the truth comes easy or not.
"Well, just because the FBI closed the case on me for four months, it doesn't mean that they're not still trying to put something together to put me away. So I fear that I'm going to allow myself to be super happy with you guys and then one day it's all going to go away. And that makes me live in the moment even more so. It makes me grateful for every second that I have with you and the children. Because now I truly don't want to be taken away from that. To be honest…it would crush me, and I’m the guy who I always thought was impenetrable."
I smile at him, walk over and kiss him on his lips. Hard. The little bit of stubble that he has turns me on even more. It's the little things, those many little instances of raw masculinity that thoroughly define every part of Tony and drive me absolutely insane in the process. It's why my daughter exists today. "I don't think you have to worry about such a thing anymore. If they wanted to arrest you they would have done that a long time ago. It's just you and me now."
“And the kids,” he adds, before quickly turning my own question back around on me. "What do you fear most? And did you ever once fear me?"
This is a tough question and it shocks me that we haven't touched upon these subjects yet even though we have a child together and have been living together for a year. Like Tony said just a few moments ago, there's always stuff to learn and explore.
"Yes, I was scared of you at first. There were times when I was scared that if I didn't reciprocate you might have killed me. But now I don't have to worry about that because I could never imagine myself not reciprocating. You're everything to me, Tony. Look at the life we've created together. But as far as my current fears go, I fear for my kids' lives and their safety. Sometimes I fear the world that they live in and that's it. I think about your sister and what happened to her and I can never imagine that happening to Serafina. You know what I mean?"
There's a look on his face where it's like he caught some minutia in my words that I don’t even realize I said. And I'm eager to see what it is.
"That makes sense. What I like about what you just said was that you said…kids, plural, and you had amyin front of it. That means that you consider Luca as your kid."
And there it is. He's so perceptive when it comes to me.
"You're right about that. And it's because I do consider him my kid. Just as I consider you the love of my life.”
I look over at Serafina who's now sleeping peacefully in the crib. Her features are so soft and delicate. I swear that I can see a mix of both me and Tony and her face. She's got the strength of his eyes and the gentleness of my lips…a perfect blend. I wonder what she's going to take from the both of us as she gets older. Something tells me she's going to be fierce.
I turned back to Tony who was observing me as I was looking at my baby. I gave him a coy smile and say, "I think a moment like this deserves celebrating."
He raises an eyebrow before getting off the bed. "Is that so? And just what do you have in mind?"
I grab him below the belt and both his eyebrows raise. He smiles right back at me, picks me up, and starts to carry me to our bedroom.
"You're a naughty girl, Cassandra. But you'remynaughty girl. You are like a little red cardinal, cute when you see it but the fire red it's all over you."
"And I'm about to show it to you baby."
He takes me up the hallway and into the bedroom where he kicks the door shut behind us. God how I love my Tony.
Extended Epilogue
Cassandra
Ten years later
We had our wedding after Serafina turned one. I still think about that day even almost a decade later. There were doves, plenty of Italian people, the old school church, the venue with the gazebo, and most importantly a whole lot of happiness.
Fond memories of our wedding day flash through my mind while in my classroom grading papers. These days I work part-time at the local elementary school. After being around my children so much, I learned just how much I loved taking care of kids. Even though I have a life at home where I don't necessarily need to work, I could never imagine myself just being a stay-at-home mom. I take pride in my part-time job. I feel like I'm contributing to society by doing so.
Leaning back and enjoying the rare silence of an empty classroom, I let my eyes glide across the many projects that line our walls. The students have been busy this year and I’m reminded of our achievements as a class, the growth of the children, as the sun outside sets in the window. I place my elbows on my desk and it’s just enough movement to wake my cell phone, the picture of our family my wallpaper. Jeez…how did a girl get so lucky to just be surrounded by love and happiness from every direction?
Part of that happiness is due to the rare instance where Tony was wrong about something, although thankfully so. The feds never did come knocking and he didn’t get locked up or investigated as far as we know.
And of course, my dad, who’s now the grandfather to Tony and my children, never snitched on him or anything like that. I’m sure some of that has to do with me and our kids, but also because Tony was true to his word about being a changed man. He never gave anyone a reason to go after him, putting his old life exactly where it belonged…in the rearview mirror.
The bad man who he had killed was still declared missing to this day. The man had no family, no social life, and no reason for anyone to really care that he died, especially after what he did to Tony's sister. I must admit, after ten years I still do worry that Tony's past will catch up with him. But I guess that's something that's always going to be looming over me. When things are too good to be true it's human nature to worry that the other shoe is going to eventually drop somehow. But a decade in, so far and so good.