I continue sitting in the chair at my desk reflecting on how good everything has turned out. I love my job. I love my family. I love it all. I could sit here and try to find something to nitpick about, but even that would take me a very long time. I'm able to think about literally every aspect of my life and feel as though I have it made.
Today’s a half day for me, which is perfect because later we’re celebrating June with the first barbecue of the summer. Luca is now thirteen years old. Serafina is ten years old. You would never know that they were half-siblings. They both treat each other like they share the same bloodline, from both sides. They argue, and they tease one another, but at the end of the day, they’re always united in everything, like two peas in a pod. They spend a lot of time together as well, the type of siblings that I always wanted for myself as an only child. You see on sitcoms and movies that siblings always have a rivalry or whatever but not Luca and Serafina. They're both definitely cut from a different cloth, but they realize the strength in numbers and they never let anyone come between them.
I finish grading my papers at around noon and that's when I call it a day. I pack up and shut the light off, giving my classroom one last look as I head out to the barbecue which is in the middle of being set up according to the WhatsApp message I just received confirming everything is running on schedule.
Not only is today a first day of summer type of barbecue, but it’s also serving as a housewarming for us seeing that we sold the mansion and bought a bigger one to accommodate all the kids’ friends that are always coming and going through the house. We relish in being that central area where all the kids hang out, wanting to be able to keep an eye on our kids at all times, and also be able to witness all those moments while they grow up. Neither Tony nor I ever want to miss a single thing.
Additionally, Tony said it was time to get rid of the old place to cut ties with the last thing that represented his old life. This was another way to shake any feds that might still be straggling along, hanging on his back by a string…especially with what bugs they might have placed in the house over the years. I supported his decision one hundred percent. Anything to destress his mind is always good in my book.
* * *
"It lookslike your father's here with his new girlfriend," Tony says to me while he mixes the sausage and peppers in the kitchen. The barbecue has already begun and everyone is outside filing in. There's light pop music playing on the radio and the kids are playing on the trampoline with their friends. We've become friendly with a couple called the DeMarco’s. They have kids in the same grade as ours, and equally important they’re Italian but don’t know anything about Tony’s past. We like that a lot. The husband of this family doesn’t have a negative backstory either, Tony always vets the families our kids hang out with. This guy is a good family man, the man Tony strives to be, so he likes having him around, just as our kids enjoy their kids and I like trading recipes with the matriarch of the family.
"Ugh, please don’t call Marilyn his girlfriend. She's in her sixties. No one's a girlfriend at that age. Let's just call her his romantic friend or something," I say to Tony while making a pitcher of iced tea.
Tony laughs at me as expected. "Do I sense a little bit of jealousy? The jealous daughter has arrived at the barbecue, everyone,” he says playfully, so only I can hear. He’d never actually throw me under the bus.
I laugh at him. "Come on now, it's weird that he has a girlfriend at this age."
"I mean we're not really ones to talk, given what we did ten years ago." He pauses. “Plus why is it weird? I think it’s something that runs in your family,” he says, playfully poking me in the ribs. “Your dad was worried I was going to steal you from him and now you’re worried this woman is going to steal our best babysitter from you. That’s it, isn’t it?”
I shake my head, trying not to laugh at my husband’s observation. Ten years really does feel like a century, even just by the way Tony talks to me. It’s different. Good, but different. He doesn't just grunt out answers or talk in clipped sentences like a caveman. He's able to communicate and be as open as he wants to be without feeling any hints of shame. I can't take all the credit for that, but I can take most of it.
"Well, whatever you want to call her you should get out there and greet her. It'll mean a lot to your father to be on good terms with his new…buddy."
I roll my eyes at his word choice and take the sandwiches sitting next to the sausage and peppers and bring them out to the backyard. I think about how happy my dad is being a grandfather and how I should be happy for him to have met a woman. He doesn't deserve to be alone and I guess I need to put my jealousy aside to accept the fact that he's found someone that he loves.
"Hi, Dad. And you must be Marilyn. It's so great to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you."
Marilyn smiles. "Likewise."
I move in for a hug and kiss for my father. "It's so great to see you, sweetheart. I love the new home. Tony really had to get a bigger one, huh?"
"You know Tony. He wants Luca and Serafina to have all the space in the world. He would buy them a theme park if he was allowed to, but you know…regulations and stuff.”
We all laugh and then I take the time to get to know Marilyn, chatting with her for a bit before she excuses herself to head on over to the drinks table, giving me a moment alone with good ol’ dad.
"I'm really proud of you, kiddo. You've really carved out the life that you've always wanted."
"You too, Dad. It's great to have you here at the housewarming. Today will be our first memories here, and you know you have to be a part of them. There’s no such thing as memories without friends and family and there’s no Cassandra without you.”
He nods and pulls me in for another hug.
"This is what it's all about, sweetheart. Creating memories. Good memories. It's crazy to think that Tony and I almost came to blows back in the day. Well, actually I did throw blows. The man everyone thought was a hot head was the one who showed all the restraint.” My dad stops, looks up, and off to the side as he processes the irony of his words as if it’s the first time the thought dawned on him. He shakes his head and grounds himself back in the conversation. “If only I could have visualized this future back then. None of that would have happened."
Now it’s my turn to think, as it dawns on me just how far we've come.
"You're right. I remember that day. It feels like a century ago and yet it feels like it happened just yesterday. I have to admit, I'm glad this all turned out the way that it did."
"I got the sausage and peppers," Tony announces proudly on the way out of the house.
My dad and I share a look. I don't know what the look means exactly, but it just feels like we're thinking the same thing. We're happy for one another. We're happy for how far we've come and we're happy for how far we're going to go. It's crazy to think that one day there was a man named Mason Brady who tried to tear it all apart, to come in between us. It's crazy to think that I almost didn't take the job to be a nanny and if I hadn’t none of this would have ever happened. Life is just one big series of decisions and it’s crazy how just a single one of them can make or break your future. Thankfully I chose him and he chose me. That’s the decision that got the train moving down the track. And now that train, our life, has become a high-speed bullet train that I never want to step off of. It’s too fun, too fast, and too darn good. Together. Our family. Forever.
The rest of the barbecue goes off without a hitch. Everyone is enjoying their food. Marilyn seems like she's getting acclimated to everyone. Tony seems at ease and comfortable not having to look over his shoulder like he used to in the past. I don't sense the surveillance and security guards that I once used to when I was in his old mansion. It really does feel like we're being left alone and able to just do our own thing. Never did I think that it would be so important to me to have that feeling. Never did I think that watching my kids play on the trampoline with their friends would mean so much to me.
Eventually, day turns to evening and evening turns to night, the guests having long gone and the kids in bed early after a long day of playing around and tiring themselves out. It's just me and Tony on the couch. I'm snuggled up on his hairy chest as he sits in a pair of basketball shorts. There's nothing about him that I don't find sexy, from that burly chest of his all the way down to the veins in his feet. It doesn’t matter, because I love him, all of him, exactly for who he is. I'm obsessed with Tony even after all this time together. It's weird because after giving birth, even though it was a decade ago, I still have a bit of insecurity over my body.
"You've reached the pinnacle of success and have everything that you've ever wanted,” I tell him. “Butnow I feel like your wife has nothing but a mom bod. Do you still find me attractive?" I ask Tony.