“Can’t we figure it out together?”
“They’ll—”
“Stop worrying about other people,” I bite out as frustration takes hold of me. I’ve wanted for so long just to be with him. To have him in my life like this—as a partner. He’s already my best friend. It’s not going to hurt us to take that step and finally admit what we’ve known all along.
“I have to,” he tells me as he cups my face with both hands. “I don’t want them hurting you. You’re everything to me, Ez. And if I lose you, I’ll lose my home.” His words slowly sink into my chest, and my eyes burn with tears. For a man who claims to be a cold-hearted bastard, those are the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard.
“You won’t lose me,” I tell him adamantly. “But I cannot live a lie. I’ve done it for far too long. There is no longer a way for me to be happy and continue ignoring this.” I place a hand on his chest, and I can feel his erratic heartbeat. It thuds against my palm, a rhythm I’ve come to know.
“Then I suppose we’re fucked.” Sorin chuckles. The deep rumble of his laugh vibrates through his chest and into mine. The connection between us has always been strong. It only grew more over the years, and now that we’ve finally admitted our feelings, I’m certain there is no way it will ever diminish.
“Will you stay with me?”
“Right now?” His brows furrow and I can’t help but laugh.
Shaking my head, I say, “No. When we’re both at college. We can see what it’s like to… you know,” I whisper, waving my hand in the air. “Live together.” Being roommates is one thing, but living together as more than that will be a challenge.
“We need to tell our folks first,” he says, and I realize this may be the most difficult thing I’ve ever told my parents. I don’t know how they’ll react. But I know one thing is pretty certain. I’m not losing Sorin.
I can’t.
CHAPTER THREE
SORIN
Ileft him in the kitchen and told him I’d be back. But as I walk into my house, I realize my father may never accept this. He’s a strict, focused man who loves my mother fiercely. He only wants what’s best for me. Even though at times, I don’t see it. But this may be a step too far for him. I still can’t believe Ez kissed me, or I kissed him. Either way, his lips were on mine and there was no longer going back to what we were.
Things have changed.
I didn’t think he would ever feel for me what I do for him. But as our tongues tangled together, I knew I couldn’t be with anyone else. Kissing him felt like I had arrived home, and when I told him that, I wasn’t lying. He truly is the reason my heart beats. I think back to the day I almost confessed my feelings for him. It was the afternoon of our sixteenth birthday.
Ez is dressed in a pair of low-slung jeans. He’s been washing his father’s car, much to my pleasure since he loves to do it shirtless. He’s filled out. And I can’t deny I’ve been spying from my bedroom window. Sable, my sister, walks into my room, causing me to jump back from the window.
“Are you looking at him again?” She’s too old for her own good. Her maturity outranks most of the kids in my class. But I ignore her because I know if I were to answer, she’d only see past the lie I would spew. If I said yes, she’ll be one of the only people who knows about my crush. But even when I don’t respond, she can read me. My sister has this way of reading me.
“Why are you in my room?”
“It’s your birthday. I wanted to wish you since you were out running this morning.”
I went on one of my longer runs. I needed to get out of the house and away from the noise across the street. Ezryn’s folks are throwing him a huge party, as usual, and it’s one thing I hate—noise.
I turn to my sister and take her in. Her long dark hair, her big blue eyes, and her innocence as she looks up at me. “You know, you could just go there and wish him,” she tells me nonchalantly as if she knows just how easy it is to love your best friend in ways you shouldn’t.
“You need to keep your nose out of my business,” I throw back, and she laughs. The soft, carefree sound makes me smile. I can’t believe that even though she’s a pain in my ass, I love her. She’s my life, along with Ez. They’re the only two people who mean everything to me.
I can never not be here for her. But she also needs to know that life isn’t straightforward. It’s not as easy as she thinks it is. Perhaps with time, as she gets older, she’ll realize, but for now, I’ll just let her think she’s right. I can’t tell my dad I’m in love with my best friend. He’ll lose his shit.
I have a feeling my mom would be less averse to it, but I can’t take a chance. It’s shit to live in fear. But I know it’s love because each time I’m with Ez, it feels as if I never want to leave. And when I do know I won’t see him, there’s a twist in my gut that is so acute, I can’t breathe.
“You’re getting old, big brother,” Sable tells me as she comes up and hugs me. She’s still so young, and yet, at times, I think she’s the older sibling. “Go say hi to him,” she insists, and we make our way out of the room and down the stairs. I leave her in the kitchen and head over the road. They don’t like me, but they accept me—Ez’s folks.
“Hey,” I greet him when I find him blowing up balloons. I can’t believe at sixteen he’s still getting parties with kids decorations. “Need a hand?”
“I need a hand and a mouth,” he throws back with a laugh, and a couple of girls giggle. They’re only here to try to get his attention. But I’m no better. It’s why I’m here as well. Only, I’m his best friend and they’re nothing more than distractions. He doesn’t stay with one too long. Most times, it’s a couple of days before he’s replaced the girl on his arm.
Rolling my eyes, I shake my head and help him with the balloons. Being this close to him makes my focus blurry because all I can think about is the cologne he’s wearing and the way his hands move as they work on the decorations. When the girls finally move into the kitchen to help Ez’s mom, I turn to him and I’m about to say something when he says, “She’s clearly got the hots for you.” When he nudges his head, I turn to look at one of the chicks from school walking up the drive.
“Why would you say that?” I ask before turning back to him.