Right, Rich was a doctor. A perfectly nice guy who I’d been crap to.
“I can make my own way home,” I said, just as Diesel interrupted with, “I’ll see her home.”
Rich looked between us. “Erm, I’m going past your place, so I can drop you off.”
“That would be great,” I said, shaking off my arm determinedly from Diesel’s grip. I needed to apologize to this guy, and I refused to do it in front of Diesel. I grabbed my purse from the bar and glanced back at Diesel. “See you at work.”
Then Rich and I headed out, and I used all the willpower I had in me not to look back.
CHAPTER12
Diesel
I’d ridden my motorbike to the bar, so I had plenty of time to get to Emily’s before her date dropped her off. The moment in the bar played again and again in my head.
We can’t go on like this. Maybe we can be friends.
The absolute, guttural feeling of wrongness had been so thick it had been hard to choke it down. It was my worst nightmare, finally coming true. I’d been a dick. Not wanting to lose Bennet, I’d let this dance go on too long. Feeling too frozen and numb to the world after my time as a Marine, I hadn’t realized that Emily was lonely. It had been enough for me, just seeing her every day. I felt like the world had stopped and left me behind. Emily wasn’t just the woman in my head that brought me comfort, or my work wife that I longed to work seven days a week just to see. She was a real, living woman, with her own needs and desires, and I was risking everything with each day that passed.
Rich’s car pulled up at the curb, and I kept to the shadows. I didn’t want to make it awkward for her. I’d done enough of that at the bar.
She got out of the car and slammed the door, then made her way up the path to her little house. I set down my helmet and approached just as she opened the door and stepped inside. She hadn’t even glanced over her shoulder, which reminded me about her training. I had to make sure I was with her when she went out in the field, or I’d never breathe easy again. I braced an arm over her head and grabbed the door before it could close. She jumped with fright and whirled around, her hand delving into her bag, probably reaching for her pepper spray.
When she recognized me, she dropped her bag to the floor and glared at me. I pushed inside the house as she hit me on the chest.
“You gave me a heart attack,” she swore. I kicked the door closed and leaned against it, then grabbed her slender wrists as she went to hit me again. She came up short, leaning against my chest. Her eyes widened, and a pulse hammered in her throat.
“Yeah, well, you gave me a heart attack too, so it’s only fair.” My voice came out in a deep rumble.
“How did I do that?”
“You told me you wanted to be friends and broke my fucking stupid heart,” I confessed. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I came clean about my feelings.
She blinked at me, clearly not expecting that. My hands slid up along her arms and then brushed down her sides to grip her waist.
“What are you doing?” Her voice was all breathy, and I loved the sound. I turned us, so her back was against the door and I had her trapped.
“Ending this once and for all,” I murmured, pressing my aching hard-on against her. She gasped, her eyes clouding as I nudged against her, the motion undeniably carnal. I wanted to be inside this woman and never be without her again. I wanted to get lost in this person who knew me better than anyone else in the world.
“Ending this?” she repeated, clearly confused by my conflicting words and actions.
“We’re not friends. We never have been and we will never be. I don’t want to be your fucking friend.”
She tilted her head back, presenting her beautiful lips to me, like a banquet I wanted to feast endlessly on. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips. Maybe her mouth was as dry as mine? Maybe I wasn’t the only one feeling like I was walking through a ring of fire, not knowing how I would emerge, only knowing that there was only one way forward. The sight of it broke my restraint, and I leaned down and sealed my lips against hers.
Her breath caught, and her lips parted with surprise. My tongue delved into that warm, slick cavern immediately, stroking along hers. I cupped her face, holding her captive with my strength. Now I’d given in to the burning need inside me, I couldn’t let go. I could only ride out the storm.
She gasped, and my lips trailed down to her neck, sucking hard marks there, as she scratched at my shoulders, pressing closer at the same time. My hands fell immediately to her short skirt, reaching up under the swaying hem. Her breath stuttered as my fingers brushed the front of her panties. My mouth ripped from her neck as my fingers slid around the elastic, and she stilled, panting against my arm, still pinned between me and the door. My fingers sank through her folds and found her slick for me. I shuddered, pulsing pre-cum in my boxers at the thought that Emily was wet for me. She really wanted me. It seemed impossible that this woman, who I’d been obsessed with for so long, could want me back.
I pushed a finger inside her, as deep as it would go, and Emily groaned. I wanted a part of myself inside her, to stake claim however I could, as soon as I could.
“Diesel,” she muttered as I pumped that finger in and out, leaning my forehead against hers.
“Yes, sweetheart,” I murmured, keeping my finger deep inside her, as I sank to my knees before her, my hard-on crushing painfully in my jeans. I ignored it. Pain, fear, any kind of worry melted away. There was just me and Emily, and over a decade of want finally crashing over us.
I was drowning in it. I was drowning in her.
“Are you sure?” Her uncertain tone tore at my ravaged heart.