What the hell?Nerves blossomed to life in my gut as I looked up, and more perfectly than if I’d timed it on purpose, my eyes connected with Diesel’s across the bar. My entire body jolted at the look in his eyes.
“You want another drink?” Rich shouted again, deafening me. I guess he hadn’t realized that I had barely touched the first one. I shook my head; my eyes fixed on Diesel as he prowled around the bar toward us.
“Emily doesn’t like beer,” he said and leaned on the bar and caught the eye of the pretty bartender immediately. Of course he did. He spoke to her, his words concealed by the music. Then he straightened and reached for my barely touched beer and raised it to his lips. His throat bobbed as he swallowed down some of the lite beer and pulled a face at the taste. Rich, my date, watched us with confusion. The bartender appeared beside me, and set a tall, pink cocktail on the bar next to me, decorated with overhanging berries and a lime slice. It looked delicious and exactly what I liked. I picked it up slowly as Rich looked between me and Diesel.
“Emily likes raspberry mojitos and frozen margaritas. The fruitier, the better,” Diesel said, leaning on the bar and seeming to loom over Rich.
My date nodded and then pointed between us. “Are you her brother?”
We spoke at the same time.
“Not remotely,” Diesel said.
“He sure thinks so,” I said.
We stared at each other until I relented. “But no, he’s not Bennet, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Ok, cool, there was just like a weird vibe, you know,” Rich said and laughed it off. Then he leaned on the bar beside me and stretched an arm along behind me. “You wanna dance a little, or just go back to my place?”
I felt Diesel bristling beside me. Danger emanated off the man, and I didn’t know how Rich couldn’t feel it. The guy clearly didn’t have great survival instincts.
“Dance, I guess,” I mumbled. What else was I to say to that? I wasn’t going to tell Rich that I wasn’t interested in front of Diesel. That felt cruel. I let him pull me out onto the dancefloor, where the band had started a slower set. The lead singer sat on a stool with an acoustic guitar and played a sweet melody. Rich pulled me into his arms, and everything in my body rebelled against the feeling. Diesel’s eyes on me heated my skin. His stare was so intense, it felt as if getting burned through a furnace. Everything was wrong about being in this man’s loose grip. His smell, the clammy feel of his hands. I closed my eyes and tried not to shudder with revulsion. I was being a bitch. I never should have agreed to this date when I was still so fucked up by the man staring daggers at us across the bar. But what else was I supposed to do? Pine for an unrequited love my entire life?
I blinked my eyes open to meet Diesel’s, my anger and accusations burning in my stare. He tilted the bottle of beer back and downed the rest before moving toward us.
“Mind if I cut in?” His deep voice sent shivers sparking across my skin.
Rich jolted and stepped back, clearly confused, and I couldn’t blame him. However, being a polite guy, he let Diesel step in.
“Why are you here?” I asked him as he put his arms around me and tugged me way closer than Rich had. My chest pressed into his immediately, and his hands landed possessively on my hips. The scent of him blanketed my head and made my heart pound. The low lights of the dancefloor painted Diesel’s precious face with hollows. At that moment, I’d never seen anything so beautiful.
“Why are you here?”
“You know why. I was on a date,” I reminded him, glancing over at Rich who seemed to be chatting up the pretty bartender.
“Right, a date with a guy who doesn’t get you at all,” Diesel muttered. “Why are you doing that to yourself?”
“Doing what? Looking for love?”
His hands flexed on my hips, digging in for a second, like the very words pissed him off. My heart felt like it was beating right in my mouth, and the world felt like it narrowed right down to the two of us, turning under the twinkle lights. I was so tired of loving this man from afar. It made me hate my brother weirdly, even though, as far as I knew, he’d had no idea that Diesel and I had ever kissed. I couldn’t go on like this.
“We can’t do this anymore. I’m not happy, Diesel.” My frank words sent a flash of pain across his features. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I’m not happy… because of you. I’m not going to spend my life alone, just to make you feel less lonely,” I nearly whispered, but I knew he heard me just fine. “If you cared about me at all, you wouldn’t want that.”
There was the cold, stark truth, and we both knew it. The music had stopped, even though we were still dancing slowly in the middle of the dancefloor. I stiffened and pulled back. I’d expected to cry, or feel something other than the dry, weary exhaustion in my wrecked heart.
“I’m done waiting, Diesel. Don’t ask me to do it anymore.”
“I’ve never asked you to wait for me,” he said quietly, but his words were pained.
I let out a long sigh. The saddest part was how right he was. “No, I guess you haven’t. I’m just the idiot who did it, anyway. See you at work.”
“Ems, we can’t leave it like this,” he said, reaching out to grab my arm gently as I passed him.
“We have to leave something somewhere. We can’t go on like this. Maybe, if we do, we can start again… really be friends this time,” I said, even though the words hurt.
Diesel let out a raw laugh and looked at me like I’d just attempted to stab him. “Friends? You want to be friends?”
“Emily?” Rich appeared beside me, tapping his phone. “I’ve got to run. I’m on call and they need me at the hospital.”