“The coast?” Joel said, confused. “I thought you were heading home?”
“Not yet. We still need to find Mom.”
“But Finn—”
“I’m fine.” Finn stood and approached the others with as normal a gait as she could muster without wincing. “We’re so close. We have to finish this.”
Joel shook his head slightly. He clearly had reservations about the plan, but he held his tongue.
“Well, it’s been a pleasure having you here,” Myron continued. He seemed lighter somehow, a shade or two shy of happy. “Now who am I supposed to fish with?”
Zadie shrugged. “You could try convincing the girls again.”
“Nope!” all three of them said in unison.
“Well, there you have it!” Myron laughed easily. “When you find your mom, tell her I say hi.”
They finished saying their goodbyes, and Zadie and Joel climbed into the car. Before Finn could join them, Rowan pulled Finn into a tight hug and whispered, “I hope you find her.”
“Me too,” she answered.
The six-hour drive to the Washington coast was too quiet for Zadie. Finn sat in back, her injured feet propped up on the seat next to her, drifting in and out of sleep. The previous day hadbeen hard on her, so Zadie was content to let her rest. Joel rode shotgun but spent most of the drive gazing out his window at the islands dotting Puget Sound and the jagged forests of the Olympic Peninsula. “Whoever sees Bigfoot first, wins,” Zadie tried joking after an achingly long silence between them. “You’re on,” he said halfheartedly, then never mentioned it again.
He’d been acting distant all morning: avoiding eye contact, mumbling one-word answers to her questions. Zadie could only assume it had something to do with that moment between them in the station wagon. Joel must have picked up on her lack of interest in pursuing the relationship further. If that was the case, then why tag along? Why not ask her to drop him at the nearest bus station?
Zadie hoped the ocean would lift their spirits, and as she caught a glimpse of her sleeping sister in the rearview mirror, she hoped that everything they had been through, everythingFinnhad been through, would be worth it.
Zadie had called ahead and booked an oceanside motel room for them to stay the night in, but as she was about to pull into the parking lot of the single-story building with the neon narwhal on the side, her gaze drifted down to the beach at the end of the road. At least two cars were parked on the sand, with tents erected next to them. One belonged to a man and his dog playing a game of Frisbee on the misty edge of the waves.
For some reason she couldn’t quite put her finger on, she didn’t turn into the motel parking lot. She continued straight, toward the ocean.I’ll get sand in my sleeping bag again,Zadie thought, remembering the way it crunched between her teeth when she woke in the morning. But it didn’t matter. Something about it just felt right.
The station wagon rolled onto the beach and Joel glanced behind them, confused. “I thought we were going to a motel?”
“You can take the room if you want. I’m camping.”
The black sand beach was littered with driftwood, some logs as big as whole trees. Zadie set up their tent next to one such trunk that was angled toward the sinking sun while Joel dug a hole for a fire. Finn sat on a picnic blanket, staring out at the monolithic sea stacks that rose from the waves. Many were boulder-like and crested with conifers, while one was shaped like an arch. Finn wondered if when the tide was low enough, you would be able to walk through it like a doorway into a fantasy world. The longer she stared, the more she felt drawn to them, and the more drawn she felt, the more her mind slipped. Soon she could look at nothing but the flock of gulls orbiting around the pinnacle of the nearest sea stack. Zadie was the first to notice the far-off look in her eyes and followed her gaze up to the looming rocks. “Creepy-looking, aren’t they?”
Finn knew someone was speaking to her, but she didn’t recognize the voice. She didn’t even recognize her own voice when it left her mouth. “Yeah, creepy.” Her mind was still circling the rocks.
“Hole’s done,” Joel said, clapping the sand from his hands. “I’ll collect some wood.”
“Do you want help?” Zadie asked.
He wouldn’t look at her. “Nah, I’m good,” he said and wandered off down the beach.
Zadie stared after him for a moment, then sat down next to Finn on the blanket. “He’s mad at me.”
“Why?” Finn’s own voice sounded tinny, like she was hearing herself through a bad phone connection.
“Because I think he wants to get back together, and I don’t.”
Finn shifted her weight, but otherwise gave no indication that Zadie had spoken.
“We kissed.”
This got Finn’s attention. “What?”
“Yeah… I really screwed things up.”