“Where are you?”
She hesitated.No more lies.“Washington State.”
“What the hell are you doing in Washington?”
No more lies.“Zadie and I went to find our mom.”
Kathy was silent for so long, Finn thought the line had gone dead. “You still there?”
“I’m still here.”
Her foster mom had a habit of playing with her wedding ring when she felt hurt. That’s what Finn pictured her doing while she waited for Kathy to speak.
“Was this Zadie’s idea?”
“No. It was mine. I didn’t say anything ’cause I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“And look how that turned out.”
Finn closed her eyes as if her shame were something she had to see to feel.
She heard Steve’s voice, faint, in the background. “Yes, it’s her,” Kathy said. “Do you want to talk to her?”
He must have declined, because Kathy continued. “You know what really makes me sad?” There was a sort of resignation in her voice. “That you felt like you had to hide this from us.”
“I know. I—”
“I’m not finished.” A pause. “Look, I know I’m not your mom, but I’ve always considered you my daughter. Even if your mom showed up on my doorstep today, I’d still consider you my daughter, adoption or no adoption. If you feel like this is something you have to do, I get it, but when it’s over just… come home. Please.”
The greatest gift Finn could have given Kathy in that moment was to tell her she was giving up her search, that she’d jump on the next flight to San Antonio and be there by the evening. But she couldn’t, so she did the next best thing. “See you soon… Mom.”
Zadie managed to get herself all the way up the hill without getting winded. The Star formerly known as Ladybug would have applauded if it had had hands, but those wouldn’t come for another few weeks, so Zadie had to settle for taking pride in her own accomplishment without any external validation.
She saw Finn’s boots sitting under the maple and started to move toward them when a figure in the clearing made her stop abruptly. His back was turned, but it was clear by the stoop of his shoulders that the man was Myron. He was standing before thegnarled pine, speaking in hushed tones. Zadie couldn’t make out what he was saying, but she had a guess as to why he had come up here alone.
She watched him for a moment. His body language was awkward, circumspect, but when he placed his calloused palm tenderly against the trunk, Zadie felt a surge of emotion on his behalf. Maybe his wife was somewhere behind the crust of bark, busy crafting the tree’s next ring, or maybe she wasn’t. It hardly mattered. The love was real. It lived outside both of them in the whispering leaves and bubbling creek. It lived in mountaintops and pollen and on the wings of birds. It lived in their children.
Before Myron could notice her, Zadie quietly retrieved Finn’s boots and slipped back into the forest.
Finn sat on the front porch stoop watching Joel help Zadie load the station wagon. The out-of-body feeling she’d experienced that morning still lingered, but at least the echoes had subsided. She felt like she was finally seeing the Van Houtens’ house for what it was, not some den of loss and misery, but a home—a home where the saddest thing that happened inside its walls was vastly outnumbered by the thousands of beautiful things.
The Van Houten girls had spent the last hour on the porch swing telling their favorite stories about their mom. From the picture they painted, it was no wonder Amy and Nora had sparked a friendship. To borrow her mom’s expression, they both “marched to the beat of their own xylophone.”
“Thank you,” Rowan said, taking a seat next to Finn on the stoop.
Finn waved her off. “It’s no big deal.”
“Seriously. If it weren’t for you, we never would have found her. I’d still be digging holes all over the forest.”
“I’m just happy my echoes could be useful for once.”
“I can’t wait to talk to her again.” Rowan smiled briefly before her eyes drifted downward. “That is, if my dad lets me.”
At that moment, Finn spotted Myron sneaking out of the woods. “I bet he will,” she said.
“Headed out?” Myron strolled up to the station wagon just as Zadie slammed the back door closed.
“Yeah,” her sister answered. “We should get on the road if we want to get to the coast by dark.”