Suddenly I feel warm lips on mine, followed by a hot breath shuddering through my lungs.
At first, I fight the air, not wanting it to enter my body.Don’t bring me back to life, just let the anxiety take me away.
But the breath is insistent on ensuring I live. It fills me again and again. And then I feel more—the soft lips pressing against mine and a tongue massaging mine. My body warms and comes alive the longer her lips are on mine.
Her hand strokes my hair while another presses gently against my chest. It’s reassuring she cares enough to check if I’m still alive.
I’ve had plenty of panic attacks—plenty of times my anxiety has crippled me. At night there have also been plenty of times my nightmares took hold, triggering the trauma of my past. But never have I had someone help me through it.
Ever so slowly, the anxiety slithers out of my body, and the pain in my chest lessens. The trauma is still there—it will always be there—but her lips give me something to focus on besides the darkness.
I squint, watching her try to breathe life into me. To me, it feels more like a desperate kiss than a mere supply of oxygen. I enjoy the feeling a second longer than I should before finally opening my eyes.
“Thank god!” She falls back on her heels, kneeling as she watches me closely. “Do I need to call an ambulance? Did you have a heart attack or something?”
“No,” I say gently.
“Is that all you can say to me?” she says with annoyance.
I shake my head, needing a second. “It wasn’t a heart attack.”
“Then, what was it?”
I look at her and know someday, I’ll reveal my darkest secret. Someday she’ll know my entire truth, but that day isn’t today. It’s not the right time.
“I had too much to drink, and I blacked out.”
Disappointment hangs in her dark orbs as she stares at me. “Fine, don’t tell me. Gage will stay with you, and Hayes can go with me to meet Kit.”
“No.”
She rolls her eyes. “We’re not back to that.”
“I want to change our arrangement.”
“I’m not giving him up.” She stands up abruptly.
“You are.” I follow suit and rise to my feet.
“No, I’m not. We had an agreement.”
“And I had an agreement with Vincent, but that changed…”
She goes quiet. “I can’t give him up.”
“I’m not risking my life for puppy love.”
“It’s not puppy love.”
“Give Kit up.”
“No.”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes, with everything in my body.”
I nod. “Then, if you truly love him, this will make you feel nothing.” I grab her neck and kiss her. Not the tame lip touching she was doing before—this kiss is a take no prisoners kind of kiss. I don’t give her time to react. My tongue is deep in her mouth as soon as my lips land on hers. My thumbs caress her jawline, and my fingers tangle in her hair.