“Take your strength, your will to do good and make the world a better place.” She tapped his fingers. “And for mercy’s sake, find a girl who makes you laugh. You are far too serious!”
Cole could own that. He also had the perfect girl in mind. West glowered. Cole rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, not sure how to tell his momma the truth with West standing here.
Hudson hurried into the room. His older brothers’ sudden appearance spared Cole from further guilt. West’s scowls shifted to the loud newcomers. His brothers’ wives had come too. “I brought the twins,” Hudson said.
“And everyone else too,” West muttered. He lowered into a chair, his casual words contradicted by his tight grip on the armrests.
Momma’s tall cowboys towered over her hospital bed, especially the twins, who had about two heads over the rest of their brothers. Nash and Porter were even tanner after their vacation. Their normally mischievous looks had turned sober in the face of their mother’s illness.
They immediately took either side of her. Their hands went to her arms. Their wives followed them, unable to keep back their tearful expressions. There was no doubt in Cole’s mind how much his sisters-in-law loved Momma. Emily and Cadence were both orphans. She was everything to them.
What would she have meant to Eva, who had a living and breathing mother, but who ignored her after the divorce in favor of traveling and boyfriends?
“Oh, my beautiful family,” Momma said. She watched them all with such love and pride that it felt almost tangible.
Hudson ripped off his cowboy hat before he reached her. His wife, Mimi, rubbed his back. Her usual sass and grit made her a valuable ally in these times of hardship.
“You’re all here!” That same relief and happiness etched Momma’s face when Cole and West had first come. Her eyes found their father’s.
Jase’s eyes and lips were swollen with grief, like West’s, though strangely, he was far more contained than how he’d been when they’d first found out about their momma’s heart condition. It was like the fight had been wrestled from him.
Cole felt that way, too. Now that the worst was happening, his body felt like it was shutting down. He was going numb, even while his helplessness ate at him. Why did this have to happen now? He found himself praying.God, just give us another ten years with her… if not, then a year. Why not a month? This world is short of angels. She can do so much more good here. We need her. I’ll do anything.
Cole hesitated. What was he doing? He didn’t actually think that he could bargain for his momma’s life like everything rested on his shoulders, did he? That made him just as bad as West at accepting their fate.
Maybe even worse.
Cole believed in miracles and felt it was okay to ask for them—even encouraged—but, he had a strange feeling that losing his momma was non-negotiable. His stomach clenched.
That was his answer, wasn’t it?
His momma was going and there was nothing that he could do about it. He struggled against being told so.I’m scared, God. I don’t think I can handle not having her in my life.
Did he not think that his Father in Heaven knew what He was doing? When it came down to it, how hard would it be for Cole to really put his trust in God?
Hard. Really, really hard, especially with this.
“Hudson!” Momma cried out as she kissed her oldest son’s cheek. “If I had your heart, I’d never go. You’ve the strongest, fiercest heart.” She had to gulp a few times to catch her breath after such an outburst. Her fingers tightened over him as she lowered her voice. “Lead your brothers where your heart goes. Don’t be afraid. Lead with your quiet strength.” Her eyes sought his wife, and found her. “I’m so glad you found your Mimi.”
Mimi made a sound of grief. “Oh, Lily!”
Momma’s shaking hand found her red hair next as Mimi bent down to say goodbye. Mimi’s mother, Kris, had been their momma’s best friend since high school. “Mimi’s my fire,” Momma said. “You complete my boy. Your warmth… you’ve made his heart into gold.”
Beautiful sentiment, but Momma’s lips trembled, like she was frustrated with her inability to say more.
Cole groaned as reality began to press down on him. Was she truly going somewhere better than this earthly home? He believed in heaven, didn’t he?
Of course, he did!
He’d felt God’s presence often enough, influencing his thoughts, communicating with him on his rides through the range, directing him through danger. God had even brought him Eva. But how well did he know God? Could he really trust Him with the ones he held closest to his heart?
My Momma means everything to us, God. There is no one more beautiful. I have no choice but to give her back to you. I get that, but… please, I have to know she will be okay. She is… she’s absolutely wonderful.
A rush of gratitude filled Cole. Was this what he’d been missing? Was this why he couldn’t bear the thought of letting her go? He hadn’t understood that she’d literally been a gift from heaven… and that she was never going to fade away.
Thank You, God! Thank You for giving us Lily Thorne Slade.
The twins each bent down to kiss either side of her face. “Nash. Porter.” She closed her eyes before opening them to take them in. “Such spirit. What would I do without you?”