“When were you—attacked, raped?” he questioned tilting her face upwards to look at him. The understanding, empathy in his eyes, unleased it all and she couldn’t stop the words.
“I was fourteen…back from the job in Athens, there was a party at a club. I didn’t usually go to them, but the others insisted I stop by for a bit. It wasn’t as bad of a party as they normally threw so I hung out for a while; I wasn’t drinking alcohol, water that’s it but after a bit I started feeling woozy. I went to the bathroom, thinking it was too hot in the main part of the club but on my way there, someone grabbed me. It got fuzzy after that, like I wasn’t there as it happened but watching it instead like through a haze…” she said looking away again. She stepped backwards needing some space to finish. “When he was done, he laughed at me and that’s about all I can remember. I honestly don’t remember getting out of there but the next thing I was at the hospital and Mandy was there with me as they tried to figure out what had happened. I was drugged, a combination of several things they think had been put into my water to try and get me out of it easier since I wasn’t drinking alcohol.”
“Ah hell Bella, baby,” he whispered coming over and wrapping his arms around her. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want them to know what happened. I didn’t want my parents to be able to say I told you so. Do you know what it’s like having your first time be like that? Not knowing who it was…and then worrying if you could have caught something?” she asked as the tears began to flow.
“No and you should never have either. Did they find out who he was?” he questioned as she dipped her head.
She shook it not wanting it all to come out, “No and it’s too late now, the hospital didn’t document things when I first got there, thought I was just od’ing on something…and the cop that showed up just shrugged it off once the first doctor realized what happened. I’m sorry Tyler, I shouldn’t have unloaded all this on you.”
“I’m your best friend Bella, you should have told me a long time ago.”
“So, the twenty-year-old away at college could come home and knock down doors looking for a…someone who took advantage of a situation?”
“A rapist Bella,” Tyler said forcing her to accept it. “You were raped Bella, that’s not your fault, you didn’t ask for that to happen, and you can’t blame yourself. You have to accept it and move on.”
“I don’t know if I can. Who’s going to want me once they know? No one ever did without knowing it so why should now be any different?”
“Damn it Bella that’s not true. I’ve always wanted you, wanted to know you, protect you. You were probably seven when I realized how special you were. Those huge, beautiful eyes of yours. That skin that bruises so easily. The amazing way your hair moves as you walked. The way you lit up a room when you walked into it. I was just a thirteen-year-old boy, but I knew you were going to become someone the world would fall in love with. Your parents have a hell of a lot to answer for, but you don’t.”
“Why do you always do that? Always make me feel special when I’m not? Even the Angels line sees it…why do you think they never reveal my entire face?”
“Because you’d blow `the mystery. It’s what draws people to the ads, and you are special. So special Bella. You graduated with a master’s degree when you were twenty-one…I was twenty-five before I got mine. You had a financial portfolio and this apartment before you could legally drive, I was trying to figure out how to throw a perfect spiral. You can do things others can’t and it’s not because of your looks, which are breathtaking, you have this way that pulls people in and refuses to let them go.”
“I don’t see anything special. I pretend like I do but when I look in the mirror all I see is the rejected daughter who could never measure up.”
“Then you’re not looking properly,” he stated taking her into the bedroom and standing her in front of the floor length mirror.
“What do you see?” he asked stepping behind her.
“A girl who’s too tall, too thin in the waist with boobs and hips that are out of proportion, ankles that are fat, a nose that’s turned up and hair that might as well be a sheet…”
“You’re so wrong,” he laughed knowing she wasn’t being fully truthful. “Because I see a woman who’s the perfect height for someone tall to kiss without killing his back. A waist that a man could wrap his hands around and hold onto forever. Breasts, well the less I think about your breasts the better and hips that curve perfectly to show off your gorgeous butt that stops traffic every day on the billboard for the Angels swimsuit line. Your ankles are so slender they’re coltish. Your nose is perfect for kissing the tip of it and that hair drives men’s fantasies Bella.”
She closed her eyes and leaned back against him trying to see what he did but only finding the thirteen-year-old girl whose parents told her to go if she wanted but that she wouldn’t be missed or welcomed back if she did.
“It’s okay Bella,” Tyler said with a sigh as she shook her head. “One of these days you’ll see it all.”
“I hope so because I don’t know if I can live like this forever,” she admitted giving him the slightest bit of hope. “Ty—would you stay with me tonight? I know I shouldn’t ask but…”
“I’ll always stay with you Bella, you know that,” he said kissing her forehead. “Go change and I’ll lock up.”
He let his rage out silently as he checked over the apartment, fury at whoever hurthisBella pounding through his veins, making him seethe. He grabbed the whiskey bottle she kept for him and downed a few drinks, attempting to cover the pain with it, hide it deep down where it wouldn’t hurt her. He’d never hurt her.
Ten minutes later he slipped into the bed beside her and pulled her against him. It was torture to hold her, but he wouldn’t let his own emotions get in the way of helping her. It didn’t matter if she didn’t love him, she didn’t have to, because he would always love her.
Chapter 2
“Ican’t believe this place,” Tyler said looking around the finished room. “You are amazing Bella.”
“Thank you.” Bella grinned, believing it for once. So much had changed in the last two weeks. Telling Tyler about that night and finally letting go of the idea that it had been her fault had let something break free inside her and she was it seemed finally moving forward. It had also shined a new light on Tyler, one that she had been trying to ignore for quite some time.
That night as they had lain in her bed together, his words rolling through her mind, she had begun to wonder what would happen if she rolled over and gave into the urge to kiss him. Would he push her away or would he allow her to see if she could let someone touch her without freaking out? Would he stop her because he didn’t see her in that way, or would he let her discover that he wasn’t into her?
However, she hadn’t rolled over because she couldn’t risk losing the one person, she could always count on for anything. Tyler was her rock and if something happened to pull him away, she would crumble, and no amount of money would save her.
“Mom and Dad will be here at six-thirty which gives us about an hour to get dressed,” he said checking his watch.