“How could that be a problem?”
“For me,” I said. “Love is vulnerability, weakness, giving power away. I always have to be in control. Or fake being in control at least.”
“I’m glad I don’t have to be you,” Lauren said with a sigh.
There was a pause.
“Stay on. I will give you two interns to help you on the social media pages,” I said. “They can start on Monday. And no more crazy deadlines. I’ll meet with you instead of going through all these other people. That way I know exactly what’s going on.”
“I don’t know.” Lauren looked uncertain.
“You’ve been doing excellent work, your grasp of the market and how to position our products is fantastic. You should see how sales have gone up on those specific ranges. It is remarkable.”
She smiled sadly.
“Think about it,” I said.
She looked at me and I saw her thinking about more than just staying. I saw her looking at me and felt her thinking about me, about us. I didn’t think twice, I leaned forward and kissed her. It was a daring move; a risk and I acted without thinking about it too much. She didn’t move, and I pulled away, but not too much.
“Your boyfriend is an idiot for letting you go,” I said in a low voice.
“All the men in my life are idiots,” she said with a crooked smile and then she kissed me back. This time, there was no hesitation. I could feel the heat coming off her skin and it felt like it was setting me on fire. It had been a long time since I’d wanted anyone that much. I kissed Lauren deeply, holding her face between my hands and feeling her hands slipping in underneath my shirt. She was pushing me closer, against her. I was uncomfortably aware of my erection in my pants, the bulge pressing against her. She felt it too, breaking away from me long enough to give me a sly smile. Her hands went down to my belt buckle, undoing it and slipping her hand into my underwear. Feeling her against my skin, I was flooded with incredible sensations of pleasure. She pushed me back into the couch, then leaned over and pulled my cock free from my pants, licking the tip with quick, darting movements that sent me crazy with desire.
“Wait,” I panted, taking off her top and bra, caressing her gorgeous breasts, rubbing my hands over her nipples until they hardened. She took off her pants and I barely had time to notice her shaved pubic hair as she opened her legs and I found her ready, wet, and warm. I put my arm around her and lifted her onto the couch so that I could have more freedom to move against her, to feel her move with me. I didn’t want it to be over too quickly, but it had been a while since I’d felt this intense physical desire for anyone. Her hands were on my back, slipping lower onto my ass, and I felt her nails dig into my skin as she pushed me deeper into her. It drove me wild, and I felt myself thrusting harder and deeper. I couldn’t keep myself back anymore even though I wanted to prolong the pleasure. I looked at Lauren, her mouth opening in ecstasy as I pushed myself deeper into her. She arched her back and I felt myself giving it to her, as hard as I could, andwhen we came, we came together. I held her close, her body as sweaty as mine.
Chapter 9
Lauren
It happened so quickly.
All of it.
Then it was over and I felt deeply, deeply embarrassed.
He pulled away from me and we sat up, slowly putting our clothes back on. I was very aware of being in his office, the boss’s office, and the fact that we had had sex in his office like the worst kind of cliché. I wondered if he’d done this sort of thing before and with whom, which hardly helped. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
“See you Monday?” I mumbled and didn’t wait for an answer before letting myself out of his office.
So much for my efforts at quitting.
But to be honest, I hadn’t really wanted to quit. I had wanted to confront him about what was going on at work and had gotten him to admit that he was doing all of it on purpose. He’d apologized, and then came the explanation of why he’d done it. All the work assignments, the impossible deadlines. I couldn’t believe that the real reason he’d broken up with me in college had been about Gabriel. Sweet Gabriel, who had been the best friend in the world to me. It had never even occurred to me that Matthew could feel jealous or left out of our friendship.
There had been so many times when Matthew had gone home to his family, when I hadn’t felt like going back to the city. My mother often had to work, and I didn’t feel like being alone in the flat all day. Gabriel and I ended up going on all kinds of adventures. We’d hitchhike to California or join friends on a rock-climbing expedition. Gabriel and I were close, but it was never romantic, he was like a brother to me.
I felt exhausted.
It had not been a good idea to sleep with Matthew, I knew that and it should not have happened. But it did. I had been so emotional after the break-up with Dax and all the work I’d been doing. The energy between us had been weird. It was all anger and frustration at first and somehow, talking about our past relationship had brought back the feelings I’d had for him. I seemed to have forgotten how he broke my heart, pushed me aside.
I was now truly in a foul mood.
When I got home, I was glad to see my mom was out. I spent the evening watching TV and pushing all thoughts out of my head. There was a bottle of wine in the fridge, and I drank all of it by myself, welcoming the haze that descended after my second glass. I spent Saturday doing laundry and helping my mom clean our apartment. By the evening, I was ready to go out and texted Melony, one of my friends.
Do u wanna go out? My treat?
Sure. Where?
Let’s start with pizza. Usual place.