"Letitia."
I startle at the sound of my name, but manage to retain my balance. I turn and open my eyes to find Philip at the other end of the pier. Which shouldn't be much of a surprise, he's the only person in the house who would even think of using my given name.
"Is everything all right?" I ask. "I don't believe we have an engagement."
He chuckles. "We don't. I saw you standing here and wished to know if I could join you."
"Oh. Yes, if you'd like." My heart flutters at the mere thought of being able to spend time alone with him. I haven't seen the Countess anywhere today, which hopefully means she's left the house to deal with her own entertainment.
"Mother is calling on friends," he says, as if sensing my thoughts.
"Am I that obvious?"
He sighs and gestures for me to join him at a small bench by the water's edge.
I leave the pier and follow him to it.
"You are not the obvious one," he promises. "Mother has always been this way. You'll find mostof the staff will also keep track of her whereabouts."
I sit on the bench, not leaving much space to my other side so we'll be close together. I haven't had many chances to implement my desire to change the relationship between us, and this seems like a good one.
Philip doesn't seem to notice what I've done and sits down beside me, his knee brushing against mine.
"I'm sorry that I can't seem to please your mother," I say softly. "I know that it must be a point of contention for you." Why did this bother me so much? I never intended to marry him because I never had feelings for him.
Though perhaps I'm going to have to reconsider the truth in that. Georgiana said as much when she caught us together, and perhaps it's time for me to accept the truth in my friend's words.
He reaches out and takes my hand in his. The warmth of his palm seeps through both of our gloves, making me almost dizzy.
"It is not your fault," he assures me. "I doubt anything you could do would make Mother approve."
"Even if I was from a better family, or had better connections?"
"Your family name makes you the perfect choice for the wife of a future Earl," he says.
"Your father must love that."
"He does."
"But it makes your mother hate me." I glance away.
"I'm not sure I'd go as far as saying hate," he counters. "But it isn't endearing you to her, no."
"And what about you?"
"I certainly don't hate you, Letitia," he says softly.
"I don't hate you either," I respond.
"Even though I trapped you into this?"
"I don't think that was just you," I point out. "We were equally responsible, and it was only a matter of time until we got caught."
"I have to wonder if there wasn't a part of us that hoped that would be the case," he responds.
I frown. "What do you mean?"
For a moment, I don't think he's going to tell me, but then he takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh. "I mean that we both said that we didn't want marriage, but we kept meeting in secret and pretending it didn't mean anything."