I frown, unsure exactly what she means. Perhaps it has something to do with her marriage to the new Baron despite being his predecessor’s widow. It certainly caused a few whispers amongst the gossip mongers, but nothing more than that, especially with how distantly the two Barons were related.
"Let me introduce you to some of the younger married ladies," Lady Ferrington says, drawing me over to a corner of the room wherea pair of ladies are sitting and preparing to play cards.
I follow behind her, at a loss for what else I can do when I don't know anyone already.
"Lady Rennarton, Mrs Peabury, do you have room for one more?" Lady Ferrington asks.
"Of course," the blonde woman replies.
"Excellent, then this is Lady Cygnus, I'm not sure if you've met before," the deer shifter says.
"Only in passing, I believe. Why don't you take a seat, Lady Cygnus?" Her smile seems genuine and I try to search my mind for her previous name. Lady Ferrington is right about learning who is connected to who, it would make this interaction a lot easier.
"I'll leave you ladies to it," Lady Ferrington says. "Do let me know if you require anything."
"Thank you for allowing me to join you," I say as I take my seat.
The blonde lady smiles at me. "I've been in your position," she responds. "I know how daunting all of this can be without a friend by your side." She shoots a warm smile at her companion.
"You've recently married Lord Cygnus, right?" the dark-haired woman asks.
I nod. "I did." Are they going to ask about the way in which it happened? I certainly hope not.
"Don't worry, Lady Cygnus, Victoria knows athing or two about being caught in a compromising position. How many times were you caught with the Viscount again?"
Ah, so the blonde is Lady Rennarton, the recent wife of the Viscount. Word around the ton is that it was a love match spurned from childhood.
"Only two," she murmurs. "And I believe that's much less time than you spent alone with Mr Peabury before you married."
Mrs Peabury smiles. "See, Lady Cygnus, you are in good company here, we all know what it's like to ignore the rules when we don't believe they suit us."
"Perhaps if we are to be companions in dishonour, you should call us by our given names," Lady Rennarton suggests. "I'm Victoria, and this is Esther."
"Letitia," I respond a little nervously, though their back and forth has put me a little at ease compared to how I felt before. "Thank you for letting me join you."
"It is our pleasure," Esther responds, dealing all of us a hand of cards. "How are you finding married life?"
"It is not what I expected," I admit, taking my turn without really thinking about it. "In truth, I've yet to spend much time with my new husband." Including in the evenings. I had expected the two ofus to share a bedchamber at least once, and yet it has not happened. A part of me wonders whether it's the Countess interfering again, or if it's Philip's choice.
"There are a lot of adjustments needed for married life," Victoria says as she picks up a card. "But the ton has all been abuzz with talk of how Lord Cygnus looks at you, I wouldn't be surprised to hear of you spending a lot of time together in the future." Mischief sparkles in her eyes and she reaches up to touch a jewelled necklace, which seems to feature a fox curled up in it.
"I'm not sure what you mean. We're not a love match," I respond.
She raises an eyebrow. "That's not what everyone is saying."
"I can assure you, it isn't true." Disappointment wells up within me as I say the words, though I'm not sure it's simply because I wished for a love match in the future, it's more than that. Somewhere hidden in the disappointment is the knowledge that Philip and I aren't a love match and I wish we were.
I push the thought to the side and focus on the card game and the chatter of the other ladies. It soon becomes clear that they are both deeply in love with their husbands, and know one another very well.
For a moment, all listening to them does is make me sad for my own situation. But perhaps their words also hold the key. If I wish for things to change in my marriage, then I need to be the one to make it happen.
Twelve
Letitia
The late afternoonsunshine draws me outside, and I make my way down to the lake. I don't think I intend to shift, but the light breeze coming from the water almost makes me want to. But regardless of my own thoughts on the matter, I've spent a long time ignoring my urge to shift. There have always been too many people around and it would be highly improper for me to undress in front of them in order to change forms.
I walk out onto a small pier and stand at the end of it. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, enjoying the way the lake smells, even if I can'tswim on it. There's a peace in being around a place like this that can't be rivalled by anything else, not even the most enjoyable of balls.