"I did try to keep you out because I didn't want to feel that pain again, Sam. But I wasn't able to keep you out, not because I failed at it but because I love you. I'm still scared to death, and if that's going to be a problem, then I'll just go."
I waited for a beat, and when he didn’t say or do anything, I turned and headed toward his door. His hand came around my forearm, turning me to him.
"Did you just say you loved me?"
I nodded.
His eyes softened, and his hand came up to cradle my face. "You're a lot braver than I was, because I've been feeling it but have been too scared to say it."
This seemed like a good thing, but I held my guard up just in case.
"All I wanted for the last five years, Kate, is to have you back in my life. If given the chance, I won't fuck it up again. The only question is, are you willing to take a chance on me? Can you trust in my words? Can you trust me enough that if you hear or see something that makes you want to lash out or run, you will come to me, and we can talk it out?"
The tension in my body began to settle. "Why do you think I'm here?"
His face lit up with the widest smile I'd ever seen. "Because you love me?"
I nodded.
"Tell me again."
"You first." I still hadn’t heard the words from him.
He tugged me close, his eyes staring into mine, and in them, I saw love. "I love you, Kate. I always have. I always will."
I opened my mouth to say the words back to him, but his lips fused against mine in a searing kiss. Before, it was disappointment and rejection that made my legs wobble, but now it was his kiss. It liquefied my bones, and I melted against him. My fingers gripped his shirt to keep from falling away.
When he pulled away, his hands came up to my face again. “I want to make love to you, but I still think there's more that we need to talk about."
My immediate reaction was to tense up, not wanting to go back to rehash our past, but I knew that we had to. Even if I didn't want to hear it, he wanted to tell me, so I needed to listen.
He took my hand, and with his other hand, he picked up my tea and then he led me to his living room. He sat me down on the couch, handing me my tea. Then he sat next to me, turning his body so he was facing me.
He rested his left arm on the cushion behind me, his fingers softly touching my hair. "I need to tell you what happened with Sandra and Chelsea."
I nodded and took a sip of my tea.
"When Sandra told me about Chelsea, my entire world crashed around me. Maybe if I were older and had given it more time, I would've made a better choice. I would've figured out a way to do the right thing and yet hold onto the love of my life."
I couldn't look at him yet, but those last words made my lips twitch upward. I was the love of his life.
"But I did what I did and set out to accept that choice. I took her and the baby back to New York. Kate?"
He put the crook of his finger under my chin and turned me to him. "Nothing ever happened between Sandra and me. Nothing."
I saw the truth of his words in his eyes.
"Ask anyone in my family, and you will be told that I was in misery. I was driving them all crazy because I hated being away from you. You were the one I wanted."
I nodded and took a sip of my tea.
"About two months later, Sandra came to me. She told me that she hated seeing me so brokenhearted. And then she asked me to forgive her."
I looked up at him. My brow furrowed in question.
"She told me that I wasn't Chelsea's father. She said that she had told me that because her parents had kicked her out when they learned she was pregnant, and the baby's father didn't want anything to do with her. She hadn't been able to finish school and had nowhere else to turn."
I reached up and touched his face. "So, of course, she went to the one person she knew who was good and kind."