He showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night, completely wasted, claiming he was sorry and ready to talk. My stomach clenches as I think about what came next. I squeeze the pillow to my chest letting the cold material ground me. That night, my boyfriend, an attorney and respectable member of the community, tried to take what wasnotfreely given. What was worse is that he claimed it was what I wanted. My skin crawls at the memory.
For a moment, he had me questioning myself. I had told him I wanted it to be rough and brutal. I wanted it to be exciting and scary. He believed that because I wanted those things, it gave him free rein and ownership over my body.
He was wrong.
When I finally shook myself from my shock, confusion, and utter betrayal of my boyfriend attempting to rape me, despite the fact that I was literally screamingno,I kicked his ass. Luckily he was drunk, and despite the fact that he was much larger than me, I was able to knock him out. However, his words and repeated claims that I’d asked for it, that I wanted it, made me too scared to report the assault. I allowed him to get in my head, and apparently, I’m still giving him that power years later. We ended up parting ways, never speaking again.
I know the situation with Mark is what has kept me from getting back out there. My urges haven’t gone anywhere, if anything, they’ve increased tenfold. Which is crazy considering what almost happened to me. The desire to experience those things is almost too much sometimes, but the fear of judgment and someone taking it too far keeps me from acting on them.
“I’m thirsty,” Shiloh sighs, pulling me from my thoughts. It takes a few blinks to bring me back to the present, but when I do, I find her gazing at the fireplace. A dreamy, sleepy look on her face. She’s definitely wasted. “I love him so much. He’s so perfect,” she murmurs. I smile, watching my best friend melt into a pile of loved-up goo before my eyes. “His cock is like fucking spectacular. Have I ever told you that? And oh my lord, when he puts one of our knots on, it’s like I’m fucking a massive, plaid-wearing werewolf.”
I leave her to dick-dreams and crawl to my knees to grab the wine bottle and glasses from the nightstand. I’m aware the position is putting my full ass, wedgie and all, on display, but I could care less at the moment. I need alcohol to wash away the memories of Mark. I’ve just grabbed the wine bottle when a hard slap lands on my ass cheek, making me jump.
“Damn girl, you got cakes,” she cries out before slapping the other cheek. My head snaps in Shiloh’s direction, and I’m pretty sure my brows are touching my hairline. I open my mouth to respond when a low whistle from the bedroom door sounds through the quiet room.
“She’s not wrong,” Charlie, Logan’s youngest brother, chuckles, his eyes zeroed in on saidcakes.“Slap her ass again, Shiloh,” he groans, adjusting his dick in his sweats. My eyes track the movement without my permission.
“Don’t tell my woman what to do, fucker. And don’t you dare bring your hard cock anywhere near her,” Logan growls, stomping his way into the room. It shakes me from the trance I’d been in, and I quickly scramble from my hands and knees, dropping onto my ass.
“Babydoll, it’s bedtime.” Logan doesn’t wait for Shiloh to respond; he just bends down and plucks her from my bed. She smiles up at him adoringly, clinging to his neck. He murmurs something in her ear that sounds a lot likeYou’re gonna be knocked up again by the time you say I do.Her cheeks turn pink, but she doesn’t disagree. Jesus, those two are going to wind up with fifty kids, I swear. Logan spins on his heel, his eyes never leaving Shiloh’s, as they leave the room.
“I love you, Ray Ray,” Shiloh calls out from down the hall. I chuckle, shaking my head. They’re fucking adorable together.
“Love you too, Shi Shi!” I yell back. I start to pour myself another glass of wine but say fuck it and bring the bottle straight to my mouth. The bed jostles next to me, and I pause mid-drink, glancing to my left, only to find Charlie sitting next to me.
His hands are braced behind his neck, causing his shirt to ride up, exposing his toned Adonis belt. His grey sweats are doing absolutely nothing to hide his impressive erection. I take a deep gulp of wine, focusing on the sweet, bitter taste instead of the way Logan’s baby brother looks sitting in my bed.
I slowly bring the bottle back down and arch a brow at him. “Can I help you?” I murmur. Charlie grins, putting his deep dimples on display as he snatches the bottle from my hands.
“You sure can,” he murmurs back, his voice thick with desire as his eyes rake down my body. My tank top and tiny shorts leave just about everything on display, and he clearly likes what he sees. My pussy clenches in response, and I have to mentally chastise myself. Shit, it really has been a long time if all it takes is a hot guy and the slight hint of hard dick in my presence to have me wet and achy.
I force myself to calm down and reach to grab my bottle back. Charlie’s grin turns mischievous as he moves the wine from my reach. His eyes never leave mine as he slowly brings the bottle to his lips. His tongue darts out, tracing where my mouth had just been. He savors it as though he can actually taste my flavor.
I sit there in a trance as I watch him practically tongue the opening like it’s a pussy. He groans, his eyes sliding shut as his mouth closes over the bottle. My cunt is practically throbbing, but I still have the good sense to extract myself from this situation. Charlie is hot as hell, but there isno waywe’d be compatible. Not only is he way younger than me, but he’s Logan’s baby brother.
Nope. Not happening. He will not be the one to break my dry spell.
“You must suck cock like a pro,” I quip, hiding the deep swallow I have to take at the thought of Charlie sucking a dick. That would be hella hot to watch. My sexual fuck-it-list just got longer.
His eyes fly open, and he chokes on his mouthful of wine, barely keeping it from spraying across the pretty white comforter. I wink and snatch my bottle back. For all of three seconds, I consider showing him how it’s really done, but I resist, knowing it will just egg him on.
Stop it, Ray. You can’t fuck the brother,I remind myself. The little voice in the back of my head scoffs.Just a little fuck won’t hurt anyone.
I roll my eyes at the little angel and devil situation I’ve got going on. There is no such thing as a little fuck, and I sure as hell would hurt poor, sweet, innocent Charlie Huxley. He may be watching me as though he’d like to eat me alive, but he has absolutely no idea what a night with me would really be like.
“Excuse me?” he sputters, his green eyes wide. His adorable, freckled cheeks are somehow both pink and pale all at once. I chuckle at his reaction. Yeah, he definitely couldn’t handle me if the idea of sucking a dick has him nearly passing out. “That’s not—that’s not what I meant.” He sits up and runs a hand through his red, curly hair. “I was—I—I,” he stutters.
I sigh, taking pity on the poor kid. “I know, Charlie,” I groan, shaking my head. “I was kidding. Calm down.”
He blanches, looking everywhere but at me. He pushes off the bed and adjusts his pants. My eyes flick to check out his dick situation, and sure enough, his boner is gone. Ah, nothing freaks a straight man out more than the thought of a dick in his mouth.Boring.
Nodding, he steps away from the bed. “Right, right. Okay then. Well, uh, night Rayvn.” Turning, he bolts for the door before I can even say goodnight back. It clicks shut in his wake, and less than a minute later, I hear the front door slam. Apparently, he’s going home.
Smiling at myself, I lift the bottle for another drink and sigh when I realize it’s empty. I drop it onto the nightstand next to our abandoned glasses and flick the lamp off. Flopping onto my back, I stare out of the floor-to-ceiling windows that frame the fireplace, watching the stars dance in the sky. This house really is beautiful. I never thought I’d enjoy being so far away from the city, but the country sure has its perks. I can’t remember the last time I saw the night sky without all the light pollution.
It doesn’t take long before my eyes are winking shut as sleep begins to claim me. Darkness is immediately replaced with crystal-clear blue eyes and a devious grin. My skin prickles with awareness and anticipation. Keeping my eyes closed, I focus on the memory of the nameless man from the elevator who has consumed my thoughts since the moment we met. All throughout my drive here, and then dinner, the vision of him standing before me, radiating that powerful, intense energy, stayed with me. I tried to shake him from my thoughts. Tried to ignore the pull between us, but it was useless.
Something about the dark-haired enigma called to me, and even with the distance between us, Istillfeel the tug. I don’t understand it, but here, in this dark room, I can ignore the questions and just go with the insane craving he ignited inside me.