A shuddering, low growl comes out of Noah. “And if you loved me, you wouldn’t ask me to live my life without you again or make our son live a life without his mother.”
My eyes are still shut tight, but I feel him leave the bed, and then leave the room.
He left me.
Again.
Ididn’t mean to walk out on her, but I wasn’t about to stay and listen to her tell me she’s willing to sacrifice herself, her life and being with us to keep Adrian safe.
She’s my wife, damn it. My life. Mine.
I already lived a nightmare of a year without her. I can’t do it again.
Ineedher.Adrianneeds her.
I want to scream and punch something, but I can’t.
Deep down, I know she’s coming from a place of love and her inherent need to be selfless. She puts others first. It’s one of the reasons I fell for her.
Memories of our life together flood my mind as I almost cry out, not willing to think our best years are behind us and now all we have are memories.
I continue to pace the living room, my fingers practically clawing through my hair as I attempt to get a grip. My feet feel like lead, my footsteps heavy with the weight of it all. I’m wearing a hole on the carpet, probably making it sound like a stampede in the basement.
I stand by the window, pulling the curtain back to check on our backup.
The three fire pits signaling it’s safe are all still burning. If a breach happens, the fires would go out, letting us know to be on guard.
Warmth floods me and I feel her presence before I hear her.
“Noah.”
I scrub a tired hand across my face, surprised when I realize it’s wet. I didn’t realize I had been crying, caught up in my wife’s outrageous demands.
“Noah.” Ria’s voice is louder now, commanding. “Look at me.”
I slowly turn to look at her, folding my hands into fists to keep from reaching for her. I want nothing more than to gently shake some sense into her, but the last thing I want to do is lash out or hurt her.
“You can’t just leave like that. Haven’t you learned anything?”
I square my shoulders back, my pathetic hold on my emotions breaking.
“You want to know what I learned?” I cross the room to her, looming over her, purposely using my height to prove to her that I am more than capable of protecting her. “My life is absolute shit without you. Now that I’ve found you and Adrian, nothing and no onewill ever keep us apart again. I won’t allow it. It’s you and me, baby. None of the time we spent apart has changed that. Until the ends of the earth, Ria. I’ll always be there to catch you.”
I take a step back after using the same words I told her years ago, hoping it gets through to her beautiful stubborn head.
Ria’s eyes widen with awareness and she takes me in.
Her gaze rakes over me, sweeping past my clenched fists and rigid shoulders and pausing on my mouth. Then her eyes fly back to mine, and I see my every emotion I feel mirrored back to me.
Anger.
Fear.
Disappointment.
Lust.
I don’t think about it. My body moves on its own. Her’s must too because she meets me halfway.