He stiffens like he knows what’s coming, and he probably does.
In the years we were together, we always somehow knew when one of us needed something. We rarely fought, and when we did, one of us always caved, unable to stand the silence and tension between us for more than an hour or two. When he left on assignment, we were in a good place, which made living apart for over a year truly unfathomable.
“Promise you what, baby?” He echoes my whisper.
“That whatever happens, you’ll protect Adrian.”
“Ree…,” he croaks.
“I mean it, Noah. If it comes to it, leave me. Take Adrian and run.”
“I can’t do that, Ria. I need you. Like I fucking need oxygen to survive. You’re what anchors me. Keeps me steady. Sane.You keep me going, even when the tides are against me. I would drown without you.”
My eyes shut from the impact of his words, but I need to stand my ground here. I need to strengthen my resolve because this is Adrian’s life we’re talking about here.
I open my eyes to find him shaking his head, his eyes boring into mine, begging me to reconsider.
I can’t.
I draw back from his arms and kneel on the bed next to him.
“Promise me, Noah.”
My eyes are transfixed on his. He’s staring back at me, bewildered and distraught, tears now running down his cheeks.
“Ria. Please, please, don’t make me abandon you again.”
I straighten my back, my knuckles digging into the sheets as I continue to stare at him.
My gaze is clear now. My mind is made up.
“It wasn’t your fault. What happened was not your fault--I get that now. In fact, now that we know this is because a mad man is after me, it’s actually my fault. Adrian cannot––will not—be collateral damage. You need to protect him. He’s your son.”
“And you’re my wife,” he grits out. He straightens too.
Anger and frustration mar his features, but it doesn’t deter me.
“Adrian comes first, Noah.”
“Again, you are my wife, Ria. You think it’s easy for me to walk away and leave you?”
He leans in, gripping my chin with a callused hand. “In case you didn’t know, you are my life.”
He spits out each word, his eyes boring into mine.
His other hand wraps around my cheek, fingers gripping the back of my head tightly.
“And in case you forgot, or need a reminder, nothing has changed for me. I will not promise anything that takes you away from me again. You. Me. Adrian. That’s it. All or nothing.”
“All or nothing?” I choke out. “We cannot gamble our son’s life like that, Noah. Please.”
He shakes his head at me, his eyes wild, looking everywhere but at me. He practically vibrates with repressed anger.
Then he pauses as he stares at our sleeping son.
I follow his gaze and almost choke on the onslaught of tears. A tsunami of emotions have me shutting my eyes, my lips pursed as I clutch my stomach to try and stop the pain and fear from drowning me.
“Please, Noah. If you truly love me, you will do this for me.”