“My brother tends to have that effect when he’s around.”Essos takes a sip of wine and chuckles.
“It’s nice to know that even the King of the Underworld has some sibling rivalry. If you don’t get along, why is he still here?” I can’t help but hope he answers this question of mine. Hedging my bets, I push further. “What can you tell me about your other siblings?”
Estelle has two chicken pot pies delivered to us in record time. The smell of the chicken prompts my stomach to give an undignified growl. Essos laughs and gives his thanks to the poor waiter, whose hands are shaking.
“Because he raised concerns about the Calling. I kept it quiet longer than I should have. Once everyone decided to stay or go, I was supposed to notify the Council. Like the tattletale he is, he told the Council, which oversees the gods. As they’re the entity that set the parameters of the Calling, including the restrictions, they assigned him to monitor things, to make sure I’m playing by the rules. He’s here as a glorified pain in my ass.” Essos swirls the wine in his glass, looking at me. “And I can’t tell you much, I’m afraid. Though you shouldn’t have to meet them until the ball. They’re both married and tend to avoid my realm.”He breaks the crust of the pie, letting the steam come through.
“You’re a bit of a black sheep?” I ask, pushing the pie filling inside the crust. Around us, the bustle of the kitchen continues, despite it being after dinner. The clanking and humming sounds make excellent background noise, giving us time to talk and eat.
“Sort of. Xavier is a natural-born leader, making him the favorite of our parents. Helene is the only girl, so of course, she’s beloved, and Galen is the baby. I am the mediator, willing to take the kingdom no one else wanted. I had one thing going for me.”
I want to ask more about his siblings, but his last sentence gives me pause. “If I ask what that thing was, are you going to dodge me?” He takes a sip from his glass of wine, then nods. “Fine then, this is me not asking. What are your other siblings the god and goddess of?”
“Can you wait until the ball to find out?”
I leave my wine untouched, the dull pulsing in my head becoming more acute. It’s been lingering since I came back to consciousness. I’ve been able to push past it, but it’s getting more insistent.
“Do I have a choice?” I deadpan, already knowing the answer.
“No, not really. I’ve already told you about Galen, and I promise, Sybil will cover the others. We just hold it close to the chest. People have their own religious beliefs when they come to the Afterlife—finding out that there is a God of Gods and Weather or a Goddess of Stars and Victory tends to cause unnecessary disruption. We leave that information for the finalists.”Essos gives me a coy wink when he lists a god and a goddess, and something in me breaks a little. I think it’s my resolve to paint him as the bad guy. He’strying.
Essos doesn’t seem bothered by my continued frustration. He must have dealt with this countless times during every iteration of the Calling. I wonder how it worked with each generation of women, who must have all been so different. A group of women from the 1800s had to be drastically different from the women here now. Although, invariably, there must have been some stubborn, pushy women like me.
“Then tell me whatisn’toff limits.”
“You. You aren’t off limits.”
I roll my eyes at him and push away my empty plate.I rub my bloated belly, not caring how it makes me look to him. I think saving my life means I don’t have to worry what he thinks about my food baby. “I think Iamoff limits.”
He places his napkin on the table, pushing his plate away. “Then we’ve reached the end of our date.” He reaches for my hand on the table.
“You call this a date?”
“Well, yes. I took you on a walk through some gardens, a horseback ride, and we had dinner. I think that’s a damn good date. Swoon-worthy is what I believe your contemporaries call it.”
“Andyou took me to work,” I point out dryly.
Essos throws his hands in the air, looking exasperated and amused. I’m uncertain which emotion is winning at this moment.
“Only because you asked me to!”
I climb out of the seat without Essos’s help.“I think the only thing missing from tonight then is a dance.” I hold out a hand to him. I never understood when someone said eyes were smoldering, but that’s the only way I can think to describe his eyes now. They’re lit from somewhere within him, a fire burning that only I can put out.
Essos flicks his wrist, and soft music plays from nowhere. The lights around us dim, casting a sort of curtain to separate us from the kitchen. His hand slips into mine and pulls me against him.
This isn’t the usual waltzing that we’ve been doing during our practice balls. He holds me close with one hand bracing my back and the other holding my hand tight. I rest my head against his chest, comforted by the thumping of his heart and the feeling of safety in his arms. I’m confused by this feeling, confused by how I’m being pulled in different directions.
I don’t fight it now. I’m too tired. My head is pounding, but I’m not thinking about that pain. All I am thinking about is how he is holding me. How invincible he makes me feel despite my recent brushes with death, and how incredible he smells.
We sway for a few moments, my eyes growing heavier and heavier. I can hear Essos whispering in my ear, but I can’t quite make out what he’s saying as the weight of the day settles on me. My conversation with Galen feels like it was years ago, not this afternoon. Without me even realizing I’m drifting off, Essos scoops me up in his arms.
“I can walk on my own two feet, thank you very much,” I mutter, wrapping my arms around his neck. Essos’s nose nuzzles the curve of my neck. It’s the most intimate move he’s made.
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” he whispers as he carries me off to bed.
CHAPTER21
When I wake up, Cat is sitting at my feet, petting Dave. I half smile, still in the grips of my dream.